The Mental Health Thread

[Nick Algar - Competition Secretary]

17 hours ago, cast iron said:

Cousin passed away this afternoon, vet can’t help our pooch, yes there’s always someone worse off. But it just seems a bit brutal at the moment

as a note, regardless of age, if a neighbour doesn’t appear in any routines, give them a nock I’d rather be called nosey than find someone died alone 

Sorry to hear about your cousin, and I know when we spoke you were worried about your dog. Hope things turn around for you mate, a good race result should help ;) 

[Richard (OldStager)]

On 07/09/2021 at 16:49, cast iron said:

Cousin passed away this afternoon, vet can’t help our pooch, yes there’s always someone worse off. But it just seems a bit brutal at the moment

as a note, regardless of age, if a neighbour doesn’t appear in any routines, give them a nock I’d rather be called nosey than find someone died alone 

so sorry to read this , as has been said already we do all cope with loss but we all cope in different ways so what works for me may not work for someone else. for me i tend to just take one day at a time and attempt to take something positive from each day. 

I have an elderly relative that is not coping at all well in a care home and i have found the stress of this has set my darn skin issues off, so by looking at old photos and some old video has helped me remember the better days we once had.

 

hope all goes well anyway.

[Marcus Barlow - Show and Events Co-ordinator]

This thread is so good to keep reading, all you guys who post here hats off to you  

 

Its interesting to read folks personal dilemas and then those issues brought on by events/family around them, I lost my Dad last year (Covid on his death cert!) after being his primary carer for about 3 years before he was put into care via the NHS adult social care channel, my Dad Philip had dementia, a stoke diagnosed by me due to his loss of speech (too stubborn to go to his Doctor) as well as lots of other health issues. I was his last family member to speak to him before he passed away as he was isolated due to covid, then it was like full speed ahead register his death/sort bills/Solicitors/funeral directors/long lost family/ex partners/ bang bang bang... then after the cremation I was just left with my Dads ashes in a box and my emotions I've put in another box in my head to process at a later date because I just don't know what to do with them. My life carries on don't get me wrong but then something can trigger a memory and '''boom''  ... mini meltdown .. compose yourself then back to norm ...

 

So I will end how I began..

 

This thread is so good to keep reading, all you guys who post here hats off to you 

[Rory's Dad]

12 hours ago, marcusb said:

This thread is so good to keep reading, all you guys who post here hats off to you 

 

And to you too Marcus 😀

[jeff oakley]

We are coming up to the time of year where mental health issues come to the fore for many especially if alone.

 

Anyone needing to talk just ask 

[Richard (OldStager)]

1 hour ago, jeff oakley said:

We are coming up to the time of year where mental health issues come to the fore for many especially if alone.

 

Anyone needing to talk just ask 

hi jeff,

 

i have just read your post over on the stuff thread and thought it best to add a response here as it does contain mental health implications .

 

sorry to read about the surgery, that in itself is stressful, but at least now you know what it was.

 

your comment regarding feeling helpless touched me quite a lot as i too have internal issues that render me unable to walk or bend, it was diagnosed as sciatica many years ago and despite all the mri scans and the like they were unwilling to operate due to possible complications afterwards, i too was sent away with powerful morphine based pain killers , which in my case i did have to use. i did a silly thing a few weeks back and carried my dog up and down the stairs for two days as he has failing joints that prevent him climbing the stairs sometimes, the following days he got better however i didn't and left me in bed unable to walk myself - and living alone just makes the whole thing worse.

add to that my eczema which is just not going away this time and is the reason why this and all my posts of late have no upper case letters - i just can't use two hands properly to work the keyboard, it is not until you lose the ability of your hands that you discover how much you can't do without them, as you mention simple everyday things like trying to do a shoe lace or opening a food stuff container etc etc. i also have external stress from family members, an old uncle who isn't expected to make christmas from my last chat with the care home, he fell over at the home , broke two ribs and his collar bone, went into hosp as he then got

pneumonia - managed to catch covid whilst he was in there too add to the misery.

he is back in the care home now as the hosp could do nothing more for him.

 

i often think why do i carry on like this when it's so easy to end it relatively easily, but then i think just how far i have come in the mental recovery so far over so many years and all that work would be wasted should i do something silly again, so i just take one day at a time , if i can't walk, type or drive then so be it, i know i will get a little better perhaps tomorrow and that carries me through, so thats all i can do really.

 

this time of year indeed is the worst for me on many levels, a reminder of losing parents a few weeks before christmas many years ago for instance, then there are the long dark days and nights with the winter weather , but once again i just think of spring and sunny times of summer tending the garden and with a bit of luck some sunny driving in our cars.

 

i wish you a speedy recovery jeff, and at least we have this thread to vent our thoughts , even if no one reads them just the fact of seeing the words on the screen helps me deal with stuff.

 

all the best

richard.

 

 

[jeff oakley]

I know I will recover and mentally okay. When you are used to doing everything being bathed and not carrying anything is hard to accept.

 

It is like the first time I was offered a seat on a train by a young guy the gesture was fine but he obviously thought I was old, it hurt my pride to be looked upon as weaker than he was.

 

I am lucky in many ways and can only imagine how you feel and glad to see you are thinking the right way.

 

Keep on doing what you are

 

jeff

 

[Richard (OldStager)]

well for a sane mind it's all you can do, had all this happened 10 years or so ago then things would have been different. for now at least the constant taking of ibuprofen keeps my back pain away and the somewhat useless creams i get for my skin do at least allow me to have one working hand, the other semi working.

 

i can still drive though, the bad hand being the gear change which i can manage just about.

 

at the end of the day it's about looking foward at better days to come , i know they will - it's just a case of waiting.

 

wishing all folks who suffer at this time of year the very best by the way.

[Rory's Dad]

And from me too.

[Richard (OldStager)]

Whilst there are a few Merry Christmas posts on here, I thought it right that this thread should have one.

 

To those that perhaps live on their own, or have lost loved ones this year or just down in the dumps right now - You are not alone.

 

Please all, have a great festive period and a Happy New Year, and let's all hope 2022 is better than the last two have been, mind you speaking personally, that's not that hard to hope for.

 

Take care all

Richard.

[Dave Eastwood (Gadgetman) - Club Chairman]

Happy Christmas all.

[Rory's Dad]

...and Boxing day too!!

[jeff oakley]

Well it is almost a year since the last post on here so hopefully people are getting on well with their lives. With all the bad news from around the world, with war at the forefront, the cost of living going mad as a result some will be struggling mentally.

 

As those who have read and contributed to this thread, I have had issues in the past but I am fine, others are not so lucky and will be feeling it. 

 

So if you know anyone who is a sufferer pick up the phone and see how they are doing. People never ask for help if they are in a hole but will be glad of contact and a chance to chat will lift them.

 

Keep well

 

 

[Chris Broster - Bristol & Bath AO]

25 minutes ago, jeff oakley said:

So if you know anyone who is a sufferer pick up the phone and see how they are doing. People never ask for help if they are in a hole but will be glad of contact and a chance to chat will lift them.

So true @jeff oakley, spoke to a mate the other day and was focused on his troubles (divorce and how to keep relationship with teenage kids), when he asked me how my life was going I was stumped for a moment as it's been crazy busy (not in a bad way) and hadn't been in touch with many so had to think hard if all WAS ok? End result, we talked each other through this that and then other and both promised to reach out to others that had gone quiet.

 

[Dave Eastwood (Gadgetman) - Club Chairman]

Aye, at this time of year more than ever it's key to watch out for each other. Please also remember that people who are subconsciously detaching and withdrawing can be (without knowing it) good at hiding the signs; it's not necessarily as simple as just not going out or answering messages.

 

It's why regular contact with friends, especially the vulnerable ones is key, it's helps to spot the out of character changes.

 

And lets not forget  the "strong" ones in our social groups; the ones always there for everyone, that listen and let everyone else share their troubles with. Just got they're great "listeners" and there for us, doesn't mean they don't need the same too!