The Mental Health Thread

[Simon Waterfall Syman84]

Well this is odd, I almosted needed to log on and there be an update on this thread today, so thanks.

 

I have been under a load of pressure at work and at home with various large life evnts happing this year through illness in the imidiate family to building extra space in the lost for my kids from my first marraige.

 

I remember this thread being last updated on boxing day last year and i thought today would be a good day to check in and update it to see how people are doing so is odd that it had already been added to.

 

I know Mental health issues come in various shapes and sizes but an open question, If we ask to much of ourselves and say yes to too much stuff in life and then start suffring, is it our own fault?

(asking for a friend 😉)

 

 

 

[jeff oakley]

In my opinion it is never your fault, we are all differrent and some soak up happily what will fell a horse never mind a person.

 

What I was advised is to look at things differently, ask your self what will happen if you do not finish the loft? They wait a bit longer so why put yourself under pressure when in the scheme of things does it matter enough to make you ill.

 

It is the ability to see when you are asking too much of yourself and then change that is key to getting control back.

 

I hate to say it but I have a family member who I would say just never gives a F...., he breezes through life and is happy does well enough but will never push himself. If asked why he simply says why should I?

 

When I can see I am getting frustrated and sad with it I just step back and think what does it matter and it seems to work for me to re balance, but it is never your fault if you feel the way you do just learn to stop pressurising your self too much

[Chris Broster - Bristol & Bath AO]

Well HNY to all and as they say the wind can change in a flash. Cue Boxing Day and in the space of 2 hours I lost my Dad after a very minor fall, little cut to hand and then downhill rapidly and passed away in his bed with us all around. Crap for us but exactly as he planned and wanted, so he's happy.

 

Why post here, well because I was going to offer up a session in the NY on Mental Health awareness, spotting the signs (in others AND yourself) and simple tools and techniques to help us all with those challenges we face within. However, I am currently managing my Dad's estate and working towards his Funeral towards the end of the month. 

 

So what I would like to say is hang on, I will get it in the calendar and hopefully it may be of interest/use to some - I'm certainly practising what I preach every day at the moment.

[jeff oakley]

Very sorry to hear of your loss. My Fil died at this time of year 5 years ago so it is always there, but like your Dad as soon as he knew the end was near he went quickly as he wanted to do.

 

Take time sorting things out as things that see important today are not, they can wait a while.

 

Take care of yourself and those around you

[Dave Eastwood (Gadgetman) - Club Chairman]

Nothing really to add, just a reminder as we head towards the darker evenings of Autumn, that this thread is here, as is the whole WSCC family.

 

Remember, you never know what other people are going through, so be kind and look out for each other.

 

Mental illness is an illness just like any other, its time we loose the stigma, its 2023 not 1893!

[Richard (OldStager)]

I have just discovered that this thread can be read by non members also, so I will be careful how I word this.

 

I was going to put this in S&N, no not M, leave the room you.... However since it is about mental health and its effects I thought it best to add it here.

 

Previous posts may explain more, but that was ages ago and without piling through all the pages I have forgotten what I may have written, so for now I will just address the last 18 months or so.  I suffer from huge insomnia bouts, longest without sleep so far was 78 hours ( just a month or so back) , I then manage to sleep for perhaps 3 or 4 hours then awake and can't get back to sleep ( at this point I just get up and hope I tire myself out by being awake again) , more recently my sleep can be 5 or 6 hours, BUT at the wrong part of the day, ie awake all night and sleep during the day, I was wondering what folks do ( should you be or have been affected this way) to break the cycle, I have tried the stay awake then go to bed at 11pm or whatever time your normal time was, but that just does not work.

 

Please don't post medical advice is not given here, this is a problem just like we get on the car threads, where joe has an issue and we all ( where we can) chip in with help and maybe offer first hand advice and a possible cure, I appreciate your concern, and this last paragraph relates to the post being public because there are things I wish not be known outside of WSCC.

 

Would "hiding" this thread be an option?, just asking as I have had to miss out some important details. Of course it's handy for non- members to view the tread, but depending on folks issues they may feel they can't post something ( as is my case) and miss out on help  - just my view thats all.

 

Richard.

 

 

[Euan Hoosearmy]

I'm a cyclical insomniac, I swap between sleeping well and not-sleeping. Cycles can last between a few weeks and a few months. I've done it since forever, so I'm kind of used to it.... Once I'm in one phase or the other I can handle it, it's the changeovers that hurt!! Proper zombie time until I get established.

 

It does have occasional upsides, my son spent a couple of months in hospital some years ago and I ran on 2hrs sleep per day for that time, I was used to the lack of sleep. It's also useful if you travel and have to deal with Jetlag.

 

Coping - meditate. When you can't sleep, meditate, it's a way of killing long periods of time with minimal physical or mental effort. It also stops the stressing about not sleeping. If you're lucky you'll drop off to sleep, if not, the time passes uneventfully.

 

How to meditate - can't help there, it's something I've been doing for a long time and have myself fairly well trained into. Find someone you like who teaches relaxation classes. Find the wrong teacher and you'll be so busy mentally listing why they p**s you off, you'll never relax. 

 

It doesn't always work... there are some nights I'll get up and read or even work (I work from home...). If I do sleep during the day, which is rare, I set an alarm and never allow myself more than an hour's sleep.

[Richard (OldStager)]

Thank you Euan, I had not thought about meditation, to be quite honest I had pooh poohed it for decades as just snake oil, but I will 100% research  that, off to google after this, although I suspect professional help is better ?. I can't recall what I got in last night definitely none overnight, I tried around lunch time today and got an hour perhaps an hour and a half in then woke up after quite an odd dream, I won't recall it here it's really not that tasteful, wasn't a nightmare just off character with who I am ( or perhaps who I think I am !! - now we are getting deep, lol) . The other thing is that because my sleep is so messed up, this puts food times at equally messed up times, cooking food at 4am isn't something I have done much of before. I am still taking liquids however, not all of it is water ( I will leave that there !!)

[Dave Eastwood (Gadgetman) - Club Chairman]

This thread was begun with a remit to be open and reach as many people as possible, members and none members included. It, wasn't the OP's intention to "force" anyone in to discussing anything they don't want to, or feel comfortable doing.

 

To  limit this specific threads reach would go against its fundamental intent.

 

However, there is absolutely nothing to stop anyone posting their own more personal thread in the members only section.

 

However, I would consider carefully before doing so. With the greatest respect to us all, members are potentially just someone who stumped up a  minimum of £10 for sixty days. So that includes folks here solely to buy and sell cars or parts or do some Westfield related research.

 

If you don't feel comfortable posting certain details in the full public areas, do make sure that you consider whether it would be wise posting them in open members only areas, too. I'm certainly not saying you shouldn't, but please do consider the possible implications.

 

If (anyone) feels they need to share something, but within a more closed circle, don't forget you can invite multiple people to a PM, who will then all be able to see and comment on your post. But only those you invite.

[Richard (OldStager)]

Thanks Dave, it's not that I mind someone in the States reading my posts, the issue is slightly more local, I may just PM you after I have a think about it, not that you can do much about it but would explain my question .

[Dave Eastwood (Gadgetman) - Club Chairman]

No problem at all Richard!

[Euan Hoosearmy]

@Richard (OldStager) - Food, happens at regular times. Child sees to that, gets real grumpy (hangry) if food isn't on time!! BUT I don't go to sleep hungry and eat one or two Fruseli bars just before I go to sleep. I keep a supply of them by the bed in case I wake up hungry as there's no way to get back to sleep or relax if you're hungry.

 

My wife says it like being woken up by a giant rodent....! Thanks, I think....

 

Meditating - find someone that suits your belief system or lack thereof. No point in having someone trying to push a load of secondary stuff at you that you don't care about.... it's a mental training thing, spirituality has nothing to do with it, but lots of people like to blend the two.

[Richard (OldStager)]

Euan, thanks again, glad I posted now, yes food another thing I hadn't appreciated when trying to relax, good idea on the snack bars too, where a meal would be too big at that time. Yes I follow science which is why I perhaps overlooked this, I did read a few articles then got side tracked with stuff, but have saved the pages anyway.