Dave Eastwood (Gadgetman) - Club Chairman Posted March 13, 2021 Posted March 13, 2021 Sorry to hear that Jude. Anniversaries of traumatic events like that are always difficult at the best of times. Let’s hope the vaccinations continue to roll out at the rate they have been doing, and some normality can gradually return. 1 Quote
Richard (OldStager) Posted March 13, 2021 Posted March 13, 2021 Aww stick with it Jude, I can't last forever can it. Regarding May, for me it will be exactly ( well the 29th) 12 months since I lost my Collie Rosie, lovely girl she was. At least I still have her brother here. But its about memories , if you have those you have happiness PM me anytime by the way. Richard 1 Quote
jeff oakley Posted March 18, 2021 Posted March 18, 2021 I know it is not the same but make use of technology to speak with people if you can. Being alone is bad, I hate it even if I know Jeanette will be home later and worse when you have such an anniversary to cope with. Never met you but happy to talk rubbish with you, as I am sure many of are, if it helps get over this difficult period 1 1 Quote
Richard (OldStager) Posted March 19, 2021 Posted March 19, 2021 An interesting and informational podcast on mental health. Hosted by Jim Al-Khalili. ---- The Life Scientific Richard Bentall on the causes of mental ill health. Why madness is in the world not in us. Prof Richard Bentall on how he pioneered talking therapies for people with psychosis and how early life events impact on our mental health. ---- https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000sj7c 41 minutes long. ---- I have never had the 'inner voices' side of this thankfully, but the early life experiences part really struck home and explains a lot of my issues. The CBT worked for me as I have mentioned already, for reasons I still cannot explain. This podcast also mentions how a bad therapist can actually make you worse, which is what happened with me initially, also covers the Covid impact too. All podcasts here. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b015sqc7/episodes/downloads Keep safe all. Richard. 4 Quote
Captain Colonial Posted March 19, 2021 Posted March 19, 2021 I lost my girlfriend as a young man (18). She was killed by a drunk driver. I wasn’t in the car with her, but I was very much in love with her and I still love her now. You’re right - anniversaries are the pits. It took a long time but they went from something to dread to a day to remember the good things. The thing that helped me turn the corner was when a dear friend of mine was comforting me during a very dark moment. He told me to stop trying to get over it because I never would - you’re not supposed to get over it, no matter what anyone says, but in time you learn how to live with it and to have a happy life for both of us because you realise that you can’t change things in the past, only the future. He was right. Scars remind us of where we have been. They don’t have to dictate where we are going. PM me if you need anything. 😊 1 Quote
Jude - The Mad Widow Posted March 19, 2021 Posted March 19, 2021 I seem to have lost so many friends and family. I use their loss to inspire my life going forward. Generally it works as no one would want a friend or loved one to be devoured by their dying would they? So this is wherr I get my strength. Today a dear friend of mine and Brian's contacted me to say he has months to live. We have to live our lives as full as we possibly can. Sometimes constantly 'bouncing back' is exhausting but it's the only way to survive! " Currently planning to drive to the Nurembergring ring with Stuart Vann! Big love to my fellow nutters 💖💖💖 Quote
Richard (OldStager) Posted March 19, 2021 Posted March 19, 2021 10 minutes ago, Captain Colonial said: I lost my girlfriend as a young man (18). She was killed by a drunk driver. I wasn’t in the car with her, but I was very much in love with her and I still love her now. You’re right - anniversaries are the pits. It took a long time but they went from something to dread to a day to remember the good things. The thing that helped me turn the corner was when a dear friend of mine was comforting me during a very dark moment. He told me to stop trying to get over it because I never would - you’re not supposed to get over it, no matter what anyone says, but in time you learn how to live with it and to have a happy life for both of us because you realise that you can’t change things in the past, only the future. He was right. Scars remind us of where we have been. They don’t have to dictate where we are going. PM me if you need anything. 😊 So sorry, your friend was incredibly wise to tell you those words. The old saying of " time heals all wounds " is just plain wrong, they never heal and whilst the feelings lessen slightly , you still have the scars as you rightly say. And if I'm honest I would not want wounds to heal anyway, because then you lose all connection with the person or pet. Thanks for posting that. Quote
Richard (OldStager) Posted March 19, 2021 Posted March 19, 2021 3 minutes ago, Jude - The Mad Widow said: Big love to my fellow nutters 💖💖💖 LOL, right back at ya. 1 Quote
Simon Waterfall Syman84 Posted June 15, 2021 Posted June 15, 2021 Been a while since this thread was last used, and thought it's worth just checking in. Hope you are all OK 3 Quote
Richard (OldStager) Posted June 16, 2021 Posted June 16, 2021 hello, its been over a month since i last posted something, but this thread means a lot to me so please forgive me in saying how i how have been getting on. as some will know not only do i suffer with poor mental health but my skin issues mean i can not do much at this point in time , typing this message is quite painful to do but i will continue. my mental health to be honest has been - this will be censored no doubt... ****. i have to say though, today brought some hope in that i eventually after many months got my long awaited call for the first vaccine jab, i am 55 and have been sitting on my phone awaiting the call - yes i know the online thing is of help to some folks, but i was unable to get to the nearest suggested place to be done, there are places closer to me but these were never offered via the online website. so tomorrow i am having my first jab of the vaccine, at my chosen location . i do hope this will improve my mental heath as this has been declining in the last few months, I have a few elderly relatives left alive that i wish to visit before its too late and i had refused to visit them until i am fully vaccinated, mainly to protect them rather than myself. i am trying to keep busy but my skin issues do prohibit this some what , i have done some stuff on the car when i can , and i will at some point post this , but its hard for me to work a camera with one hand, in that its hard to work my fingers to press the buttons on the darn thing... back to mental health. thank you simon for the last post i am glad that adams thread is not left dormant for too long, as its it such an important subject that those you who do not get all these posts and are fortunate enough to not have this problem should perhaps count yourselves extremely lucky. although i dont post much at the present time , i am able to work the mouse view posts, i have wanted to join in with a few of them but was unable , so sorry about that. as simon says - there is a gag there surely - i too hope all those who are not in the best of mental health are doing ok and i do fully intend to be back to full health as soon as is possible sorry for lack of capital letters where required but i cant work the left hand at the mo. take care all , speak soon richard 4 Quote
cast iron Posted September 7, 2021 Posted September 7, 2021 having a real 5 hitter of a weekend, father in law given a year to live, cousin had an asthma attack home alone, now on a ventilator with permanent brain damage, 1 if not 2 of our dogs very likely to be PTS this month. how do you cope how? Quote
Jude - The Mad Widow Posted September 7, 2021 Posted September 7, 2021 Wow, what to say, except you will cope, by supporting those who need your help. We are stronger than we realise even though it's overwhelming right now. I had a similar experience, losing both parents, my father in law and my best friend, some within days of each other and all within 4 months. If you take care of yourself, eating, exercise, sleeping etc you will be strong enough to help those around you. You can do it, it will pass, you will adjust, just be good to yourself. Xx Quote
cast iron Posted September 7, 2021 Posted September 7, 2021 Cousin passed away this afternoon, vet can’t help our pooch, yes there’s always someone worse off. But it just seems a bit brutal at the moment as a note, regardless of age, if a neighbour doesn’t appear in any routines, give them a nock I’d rather be called nosey than find someone died alone Quote
Jude - The Mad Widow Posted September 7, 2021 Posted September 7, 2021 It is brutal, I'm very sorry for your loss, I was going for empathy not competing! Just look after yourself. Jude x Quote
jeff oakley Posted September 7, 2021 Posted September 7, 2021 Sorry to hear your news Cast Iron, sometimes life does seem against you. The reality is you do cope and it is remembering the good times that is key. We lost our last Dog on Christmas Eve a few years ago, but even now on Facebook, pictures appear as reminders of happier times. Same with my Dad the pictures of him healthy remind us of the times before dementia ravaged him. Key thing is do not be afraid to ask for help if it gets too much for you and others directly involved. My condolences and best wishes to you and your family Quote
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