The Mental Health Thread

[AdamR]

Sorry to hear that Dave. Hope you're back on track soon!

 

As you said, the 'domino rally' effect is so surprising and crippling. It takes practice, but always trying to be aware of my emotions rather than just plouging on seems to help - sometimes I catch myself starting the spiral and that in itself is enough to pull away just for a few minutes, or even seconds, and prevent the 'slide'.

[Dave Eastwood (Gadgetman) - Club Chairman]

Sadly, it was late, alcohol had been well, ahem, consumed, and got caught completely out of the blue with a simple, harmless “campfire questions” type game.

 

Before you know it it’s that instant slam in the guts whammy of the fight or flight reflex cutting in, or in this case a complete mental freeze like a rabbit  in the car headlights.

 

Trouble is, when suddenly you find your brain has just jumped back to some prehistoric mode, it’s very difficult to explain why you appear to have instantly turned into a bit of a d**k, which of course then just piles embarrassment into the mix, and makes it worse!

 

Been trying to work up to apologise  to those who probably thought I’d gone mad, or was just being an awkward ****, but daft as it sounds, it’s still to raw; that horrible, hot feeling of shame just boils back up and takes control!

 

No matter how hard it is to actually practice what you preach though, I can only say the same thing as others have, talk, find someone, sometimes it’s easier if you don’t really know them, there are lots of services out there, and talk.

 

To that end, I can’t promise an expert ear, but if all you need is an ear to listen, my contact details are all over my posts, just reach out, pm, email, mobile, it doesn’t matter.

[MrPid]

On 15/08/2019 at 16:43, AdamR said:

It still amazes and frustrates me how quickly things can go from good to not so good, having had a pretty decent weekend and then being in a mess this week, but I guess that's the nature of the beast.

 

Adam what do you do work wise? Do you find it helps to focus/obsess with work to distract from negative thoughts - or does work stress make things worse?

 

I only ask as a friend of mine really throws himself into his work (he's an artist) but the downside is there is usually a bigger crash at the end of the cycle 😞 

[Jude - The Mad Widow]

4 hours ago, MrPid said:

but the downside is there is usually a bigger crash at the end of the cycle 😞 

Living that one right now.  Lost my confidence, feeling all those emotions we have ambled through.. Frustratingly my eyes keep leaking unbidden and for no reason... Now do I go back on my meds or try... Yet again.. To rise above it.  My default is to run away and already mentally planning to escape in my motor home. This means leaving the Westfield behind which upsets me.  A one way ticket mid September is becoming a reality 

Actually EVERYTHING upsets me..  

 

😭

Ps. I don't usually communicate when I'm having a low episode. Perhaps just to demonstrate my support for others is based on my own reality. 

[Dave Eastwood (Gadgetman) - Club Chairman]

A change of scene/perspective can certainly help, but it's so hard to run away from yourself. (Without resorting to chemistry/alcohol, at least).

[Jude - The Mad Widow]

3 hours ago, Dave Eastwood (Gadgetman) - Club Secretary said:

it's so hard to run away from yourself. 

 

I haven't yet found another solution. It's not for the lack of effort. 

[jeff oakley]

It is hard to read this thread because I know just how some of you will feel. And to me this is the huge problem with the way the NHS is now. When you are low you need help now, but instead you will try to get an appointment with your GP, who will usually chuck meds at you in the hope that in a few weeks time it will work. Then make an appointment to see a specialist by which time you may feel better.

 

If you were stinking rich you would immediately see someone privately who understands more about the issues than others do and may focus thought quicker but even the wealthiest suffer but get help quicker. 

 

There still is a lack of understanding on mental health, most people will understand reading Jude's story  understand why her problems are not easy to deal with, but Adam, successful Mclaren owning business man they will struggle to make any sense of why and that will include some in the medical profession, hence the chuck pills at the issue approach.

 

I found using self hypnosis tapes and talking about my issues helped me, but no one can really know what works as we are all different, but one thing I know is trying to cope on your own is not the best way. What I also know is having people around you who are willing to listen is a great support to have, they cannot fix you but they can be a crutch just when you need it most.

 

[Simon Waterfall Syman84]

Just a quick check in. To say keep going everyone, you can get through this. 

 

I find that as the the clocks change, it gets darker and the weather is now really bad this has an enormous effect on me. I know this is likely to be SAD (seasonal affective disorder) but I find that not getting time away from the daily gring in the garage(no power) has the double blow. 

 

 

[Jude - The Mad Widow]

Same here @syman84. I had a few really low weeks just anticipating winter, almost back on the meds. However I'm determined to get through winter without them. I have a SAD lamp which I sit in front of while eating breakfast every day. I am filling my days as much as I can. When it's dry out comes the wez for a quick blat ANYWHERE.

I dread Christmas, despite having grandchildren I find it excruciatingly painful without my husband. New year is worse!  However I am planning ahead for the first time in my life. So far so good. 

Clocks change tomorrow. That might be a game changer.. I recommend the SAD light, you need it now though. It definitely makes a difference. If I use it after 5 pm I can't sleep because of the effect it has.  Also keep warm.. Sounds weird but previously I have let myself get cold both in the house and outside. I get really miserable when I am cold and it stops me doing anything.  

Easy for me to be upbeat right now, I might feel crap in a week but I'm trying hard to beat depression this winter. 

 

[TAFKARM]

2 hours ago, syman84 said:

Just a quick check in. To say keep going everyone, you can get through this. 

 

I find that as the the clocks change, it gets darker and the weather is now really bad this has an enormous effect on me. I know this is likely to be SAD (seasonal affective disorder) but I find that not getting time away from the daily gring in the garage(no power) has the double blow. 

 

 

The door of the fortress of Rustytude (aka my garage) is always open :)

[Jude - The Mad Widow]

 

Now this REALLY brightened my day... indulged by the local flying club..   I so LOVE my car

[Andy Banks]

@Jude - The Mad Widow that's a pic worthy of submitting for the calendar, wow!

 

Such a lovely sunny day too, I'm not a fan of the winter months if I'm honest.

 

How is everyone, all ok...?

[Jude - The Mad Widow]

32 minutes ago, Andy Banks - Chairman said:

How is everyone, all ok...?

For me, so far so good. Unable to take the wez out because of the floods but keeping myself very occupied. When I feel a drop in mood I just DO something! I'm working very hard to maintain a good place in my head. 

 

Hoping everyone else is managing OK? 

 

[AdamR]

That's a great photo Jude! One to cherish I am sure Glad you are finding ways to manage at the moment - I too find it hard with less light (as does my partner), but as you've said just trying to do *anything* really helps. It can be tough to remember though, especially when you are tired and have little motivation.

 

I've had a tough, up and down, but generally positive few weeks. A few big things have happened which would normally completely sink me - slightly cryptic examples but something serious that wasn't meant to happen has, and something important that took a lot of work and was meant to happen didn't (both through no fault of my own) - but have managed to keep my head above water and see things in a different way to how I have in the past. The exception to this was Saturday morning when I got myself in a real mess. Symptoms of that carried over to Sunday but I kept going (via distractions!) and finally had a decent sleep last night, so I feel human again today!

 

I've been using a mix of distraction and reflection to keep going recently, rather than pure distraction that was my previous go-to. This seems to be less draining so despite little sleep, I'm not ruined by tea time each day Perhaps this was because distraction techniques used to make me feel guilty. Sounds odd but I saw it as being 'selfish' and spending time on myself, when I should / could have been doing something else more 'useful' or helping someone out. But I'd still feel totally drawn and compelled to carring out said techniques because it was pretty much the only way I could find focus in a brain that would otherwise be overwhelmingly buzzing with a huge number of thoughts. My partner, Jane, has been really supportive of this. Her family have always employed a 'I need some of my own time sometimes' mantra (completely the opposite to how I was brought up!) so that has released my guilt for spending this time 'on myself'.

 

I've also realised that, while it doesn't always have to be about doing something that gives an end result (eg. just reading a book is a good selfish distraction), a lot of my 'end results' are fairly special. In the last 18 months - amongst other things - I've transformed two gardens (to the point where we now have loads of visiting wildlife in one and grow enough fruit and veg in the other to noticeable reduce what we have to buy, especially during the summer), researched, designed and fitted a wood burner to the correct standards, trained for and completed a triathlon, ridden coast to coast for charity, designed and built a bed that folds up against our spare room wall, taught myself to TIG weld, built a car (a few of you will know about that one ), and more recently built myself a bike frame (using the same mantra as with the car, do things a bit differently) and this last week bought a 2nd hand keyboard and proceeded to learn to play at a rate which has astounded other pianists.

 

Yet while all this has gone on, I've still managed to build and hold down a healthy relationship, got myself into the best physical shape I've ever been in, kept my business going despite tricky times, and fended off all the crap a seriously complicated divroce could throw at me (though this is still a work in progress, sadly, and it may be about to get even more crap).

 

My point in all of this is that despite any troubles or how 'crazy' you feel sometimes, I absolutely guarantee that each and every one of you out there has a special talent or skill, which is something to be proud of. Never forget that and use it to your advantage!

 

I ended up writing a lot more than expected - but perhaps, hopefully, someone else will read this and think 'oh, it's not just me who feels like this' and that will be a small positive step...

 

[Jude - The Mad Widow]

@AdamR OMG you're a bl**** super hero!!! I thought I was doing OK but now I feel I need to accomplish more!!!

One think I have mastered.. Sitting and being at one with myself. I have started reading!! No one says life has to be hard... You are an awesome human! 

I relate to nearly everything you have said.. Except for the numerous accomplishments. Well you've inspired me... I just found a ukele I bought Brian.. Might give you a tune at Stoneleigh!!!