The Bad Newspaper Headlines Thread

[Man On The Clapham Omnibus]

40 minutes ago, Captain Colonial said:

That only applies to vampires stealing blood.
 

Actually burglary in England has historically been defined thus: 

Quote

The breaking and entering the house of another in the night time, with intent to commit a felony therein, whether the felony be actually committed or not.

I doubt that this definition still applies but there is some basis for the chap's belief if it were to be here. I note that the spelling of 'neighbour' is the transatlantic version though...

[Captain Colonial]

Hope she was no longer missing once she was found.
 

[TableLeg]

On 07/10/2021 at 09:46, Man On The Clapham Omnibus said:

I doubt that this definition still applies .....

It doesn't and hasn't done for as long as I can remember. 

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1968/60/section/9/2004-05-01

[stephenh]

9 minutes ago, TableLeg said:

It doesn't and hasn't done for as long as I can remember. 

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1968/60/section/9/2004-05-01

That's because you aren't as old as MOTCO! I can remember when it only related to entry during the hours of darkness. Otherwise in "the old days" entry during daylight was "breaking and entering". However the law changed via the Theft Act to which you refer because if the entry was, for example,  in the early hours during summer time it left the possibility of the accused claiming that it was already light!

Regardless, this isn't a joke, so we'd better stop being pedantic and spoiling the Cap'n's thread!!😀

[Man On The Clapham Omnibus]

That's the one advantage of being old Stephenh, you can come up with little gems of irrelevant information like that. 

 

FWIW I am post WW2 - just! 😏

[Captain Colonial]

Okay - how about “Three Lifeguards and Photographer Swept Out To Sea By Freak Wave”?
 

[Blatman]

Hot off the press:

 

 

[MR.C]

[Blatman]

This doesn't bode well

 

 

[Captain Colonial]

Old thread revisited…

 

Sorry about that, Donnie.

 

 

 

[Captain Colonial]

Sadly, the actual joke was not reported.

 

 

[Captain Colonial]

You’re not yourself when you’re hungry.

 

 

 

[Captain Colonial]

The owls around there must be ugly.
 

[jaykay42]

9 hours ago, Scott Young (Captain Colonial) - Club Secretary said:

The owls around there must be ugly.
 

I know the thread is about headlines and this one is definitely a contender for the top scores - however the story is even better. Parallel universe? 

🙂

[Captain Colonial]

Looks like were pretty good at it.