The other night I was invited out for a night with "the lads." I told my wife that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!"
Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up & Cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing she'd probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with her.
The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, & I told her 12:00.
She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one!
Then she said, - "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked her why, she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh *****," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the cat and farted....