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ok so I missed out on the parade lap... that can be next year

Spent a few days in London this week at the UK head office and we had to sit through all the American "Rah Rah we are great BS" in the team meetings. Anyway, they got round to talking about the "Book Club Reading List" for the month. This is something supposedly voluntary where the management recommend a book for us to read that will "make us better corporate citizens" Now I do want to point out I do not take part, as I said it is voluntary and after 48 hours when HR took me down from the ceiling hook and removed the electrodes from my nether regions, they accepted I didn't want to play. So I'm listening to them all going through what they've read and plan to read and once the session ends I get out my Samsung phone Kindle thing and go through the books I have. A few Tom Sharpe, a few Clarkson, "The Psychopath Test" & "Snakes in Suits" (all about corporate nutters and needless to say they didn't get the irony...) and then I got to "How to Build and Power Tune Weber and Dellorto DCOE and DHLA Carburettors" I was asked to pop it up on the big screen. I explained I have a kit car and after a few bewildered looks from round the table one of them said... (And remember this is the guy who admits to reading management books on his days off) "Man, you've really got to get yourself a hobby"...

Oh yes, they have, they've only gone and made another! Thursday, 9pm the SyFy Chanel, Sharknado 3. (1 and 2 are on earlier in the week if you need help remembering the story so far )

Are these the 'Coming of Attractions' we can look forward to next? > "Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license." > > "Names?" > > "Tim and Jim Jones." > > "Jones?? Are you related?? I see a resemblance." > > "Yes, we're brothers." > > "Brothers?? You can't get married." > > "Why not?? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?" > > "Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!" > > "Incest?" No, we are not gay." > > "Not gay?? Then why do you want to get married?" > > "For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don't have any other prospects." > > "But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who've been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman." > > "Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim." > > "And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?" > > "All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next." > > "Hi. We are here to get married." > > "Names?" > > "John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson." > > "Who wants to marry whom?" > > "We all want to marry each other." > > "But there are four of you!" > > "That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship." > > "But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples." > > "So you're discriminating against bisexuals!" > > "No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that > it's just for couples." > > "Since when are you standing on tradition?" > > "Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere." > > "Who says?? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!" > > "All right, all right. Next." > > "Hello, I'd like a marriage license." > > "In what names?" > > "David Deets." > > "And the other man?" > > "That's all. I want to marry myself." > > "Marry yourself?? What do you mean?" > > "Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return." > > "That does it!? I quit!!? You people are making a mockery of marriage!!" >

Thus far I have not made a comment. I still cannot because nothing is adequate to do justice to the tragedy of the loss of such a young and talented man.

Years back in the day , me and a workmate were given the afternoon off to attend a seminar at the St Georges Hall , Liverpool , we arrived early and called in to the "legs of man" pub for a quick pint , which turned into 2 then 3 then 4 .... you get the picture , we never did make it to the Hall , but it turned out to be the best seminar I never went to.

You could try putting a wanted ad in the 'parts wanted' section.

Still learning our British ways eh!

Que? Not something I posted I hope? T'was put up in the spirit of knocking corporate speak and those who trot it out.

I had to Google that

I am warning you all this is a truly awful pun, the fact it must be read in a cheesy Mexican accent should tell you all you need to know... Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden... "Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I is sure of eet". "Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee". So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon...every imaginable kind of cured pig meat you can imagine!! "Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree". "Luis, are sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don' forget". "Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell of bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree". And with that...Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens fire, and Luis is cut down is his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath. "Pepe...go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree" "Luis, Luis mi amigo...what ees eet?" "Pepe...ees not a bacon tree...." "Ees, a...." "Ees, a...." "Ees, a Ham Bush"

You can change the name on a Chartered Flight, for Long Haul, there's an 80 hour cut off, this allows time for the passenger manifest to be processed and checked against "Watch" and "No / Deny Fly" lists, You can't however change the name on a Scheduled Flight. If anyone wants to buy these tickets, I (as the lead passenger) action and pay for the the name change, the person buying the tickets will be responsible for their own Advance Passenger Notification,Visa / ESTA, accommodation and Insurances, all fairly standard and straight forward.

Hello and