Man On The Clapham Omnibus Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 Still one of the funniest things I have ever read. What Ho Blatters! I kept trying to persuade Norman to do his poo sticks test as he'd had the kit for months. Don't know whether he ever did, though, 'cos he disappeared over the eastern horizon before he reported back. Come to think of it, Blatters, it can't be far away from you at your mature years! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Eastwood (Gadgetman) - Club Chairman Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 With this much anal probing, I'm starting to wonder if this is a car club or the alien abductees society. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonPeffers Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 Years ago an acquaintance told me the initial anaesthetic was agony and that was supposed to make the following procedure pain free. However the procedure was even worse. Thankfully nothing adverse was found. Hope in your case the procedure is not too bad and all is well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephenh Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 As for Pooh sticks, don't tempt me, I've been doing it for several years now, every other year. If there is one thing worse than having to poo into a bowl or a bag, its having to then post samples of it through her Majesty's royal mail! Mrs H and I use a large polythene pudding bowl to "collect" the source of the samples, and then after the 3 obligatory days, we wash it out with disinfection, and I keep it in the garage, so we don't use it by mistake when mixing the ingredients for the Christmas cake! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark.anson Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 As for Pooh sticks, don't tempt me, I've been doing it for several years now, every other year. If there is one thing worse than having to poo into a bowl or a bag, its having to then post samples of it through her Majesty's royal mail! Mrs H and I use a large polythene pudding bowl to "collect" the source of the samples, and then after the 3 obligatory days, we wash it out with disinfection, and I keep it in the garage, so we don't use it by mistake when mixing the ingredients for the Christmas cake! That Stephen is reassuring as I seem to recall consuming a slice of fruit cake baked by Mrs H at Harewood last year. Very nice it was too !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CosKev Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 That Stephen is reassuring as I seem to recall consuming a slice of fruit cake baked by Mrs H at Harewood last year. Very nice it was too !! They only use the 'special' bowl for fruit cake I've heard,as if any left over bits come off the sides they are hidden in the fruit cake They would stand out in a sponge! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SootySport Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 Stop it! you lot, the locals down the pub go into mens health mode every now and then. Is this what I have to put up with now being a 60 pluser? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TAFKARM Posted November 17, 2016 Author Share Posted November 17, 2016 I'm only 35. And it's not a camera up the bum, it's 'elsewhere' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Man On The Clapham Omnibus Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 Cystoscopy is a camera into the bladder through what you normally regard as an outfall... Colonoscopy (and sigmoidoscopy) is via the back-door using a camera on a manipulable flexible probe measuring a metre or more in length. The sore throat doesn't last long but that funny taste... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Eastwood (Gadgetman) - Club Chairman Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 Cystoscopy is a camera into the bladder through what you normally regard as an outfall... Colonoscopy (and sigmoidoscopy) is via the back-door using a camera on a manipulable flexible probe measuring a metre or more in length. The sore throat doesn't last long but that funny taste... It's been some time since a posting has had me spitting tea/coffee everywhere, but that managed it MOTCO! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blatman Posted November 17, 2016 Share Posted November 17, 2016 What Ho Blatters! I kept trying to persuade Norman to do his poo sticks test as he'd had the kit for months. Don't know whether he ever did, though, 'cos he disappeared over the eastern horizon before he reported back. Come to think of it, Blatters, it can't be far away from you at your mature years! Had a "Man MOT" a couple of years ago. Went to the docs with a sore throat and Tonsillitis was diagnosed. First time I've ever had that particular infection. Anyhow, Doc looks at my notes and comments "We haven't seen you for a couple of decades. We'd better have you back, seeing as you've turned 50..." Well that's mucking farvellous news Doc. Thanks... Long story short, I'm really quite OK for a man of my age (or any age) despite me consuming refined sugar in enormous quantities. No sign of diabetes, no PSA markers, Cholesterol at 5.1 (we'd like to see it below 5 says the morbidly obese assistant in the consultation...), a generally immature attitude and I got the nurses phone number before I left. The wait for the results was agony and the trip to the Doc's to "discuss the results" was the longest drive in living memory. The resulting consultation was easily one of the top 10 days of my life considering I was expecting some bad news of some sort. I'm really quite enjoying being 50+ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Man On The Clapham Omnibus Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Oh Lucky Man! Wasn't that a film... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Man On The Clapham Omnibus Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 It's been some time since a posting has had me spitting tea/coffee everywhere, but that managed it MOTCO! At your service Sir! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CosKev Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 What are these poo sticks you old duffers talk of? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Man On The Clapham Omnibus Posted November 18, 2016 Share Posted November 18, 2016 Faecal occult blood test (FOB). It checks for minute amounts of blood in bowel movements - too small to see but that may indicate an incipient problem. Over 55 and you'll get a kit in the post every two years. You 'simply' collect a stool sample over three days, and smear two specimens in a couple of windows (using a cardboard stick - the poo stick that's provided) on a special card, and post it off to the lab. Easy really! After my last one they wrote back saying my result was unclear and to do another. The second one was positive so I had to have a colonoscopy. That's the camera on a long flexible probe passed up and round the large intestine looking for abnormalities. They found a couple of small polyps which they snipped off as they passed, and minor internal haemorrhoids - the source of the blood traces found in the test. No nasty lesions though - Before the colonoscopy you have to have the mother of all laxatives. Either Picolax or Moviprep. The experience is well documented by the author of the forum post http://singletrackworld.com/2009/02/the-picolax-thread-returns/ here. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.