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Hey Everyone In 2012 my wife and I adopted this incredible 2 year old boy (Josh) with so many disabilities you'd be hard pressed to find to find someone (even in the press) with more complex challenges to deal with. In 2014 we decided to do the same again and adopted a 3 year old girl (Evie) with just as many disabilities (albeit a lot more life threatening as she needs daily medications to keep her alive for the next day)! They have both come on in leaps & bounds. We were told Josh was never, ever going to be able to sit independently or have a sense of worth yet he's now walking and hacking into peoples YouTube channels due to his intelligence with a computer ... however if you put him near a road he will just walk into it without any consideration to his safety! Evie, who is also blind, was abused in many many horrific ways and now wants to train as a nurse to help others (and she has a good chance of fulfilling this wish!). Two days ago (before her latest seizure) I took her horse riding and the instructors think she, my 8 year old miracle, might have a shot for the British Para-Olympic team in the future ! For background her abuse was so bad she wouldn't allow me to change her or even be alone with her for the first 14 months! Every time I tried she went into a primal meltdown (as her primary carer this meant two or three times a day I had a girl who screamed the house down every time I tried to change her)! As my wife is a teacher, and had a lot of time off compared with me, I gave up my 'office' career as a marketing manager and became a marketing consultant (working from home) ... effectively becoming primary carer to both our kids. And, while it might not seem like it further down, I really do love all of it! So 12 months ago Evie had her first epileptic seizure. I was getting her ready for school and she just stopped breathing and fell to the ground ... only stopping being hurt further by me cushioning her fall (which my elbow ended up in sling for!). There was no trigger or prior warning. During this I was on the phone to the ambulance, performing CPR, trying to keep our son safe and trying not to throw up because I was in a bad way myself with the elbow. It was such a bad seizure that Evie required 8 doctors (plus many other nurses/professionals) in the resuscitation bay at the hospital just to keep her alive. Since then it's happened, to various degrees of severity (luckily not as bad as the above episode), every two or three weeks. There is no exaggeration when I say the critical care unit at our local hospital know me and the kids by first name! Both the kids are also autistic with Josh REALLY into his sports cars (hence my avatar as Roary The Racing Car). Due to this, and the success I've achieved being self employed, I've been able to indulge in my passion for cars ... enabling me to have a selection of incredible vehicles. So I understand I'm very fortunate. I understand there are plenty of people in a far worse situation to me and would love even a little of the lifestyle I currently enjoy. I've heard all the praise before. I know it's incredible what we've done and what we've given up. But both my wife and I get so much from the kids and wouldn't change it for the world. I would like to say I'm good at a number of things but I'm great at making my kids laugh. Not even my wife is able to do it as well as me and if that's the only thing I'm ever great at in life then I'll die a very happy man! And despite all of this I'm struggling! As soon as you adopt social services don't care about the adults. They say they do but they really don't so apologies to any social workers on here ... I know you are restricted by red tape and funding but a phone call once in a while (after the statutory requirements finish and one that isn't threatening BTW!) wouldn't hurt! Friends & family are brilliant at first but don't get what it's like to look after someone with disabilities. Finding childcare is next to impossible, they get offended when we have to cancel on short notice because of illness and they don't invite our children to their children's birthday parties as ours are different. Also don't get me started on being a man as a primary carer in a school carpark ... mothers and school staff really find that strange!!! But that's just the 'little stuff'! The big stuff ... well ... In 2020 I've had to perform CPR on my daughter three times and, despite being a very successful marketer, I can't even describe in words how it feels to save your own child on a regular basis. My relationship with my wife is strained despite knowing how important a stable relationship is for Josh & Evie (two of the regional groups will probably notice I only travel alone ... and that's only in part due to childcare 😞 ). Luckily those around me don't tell me to "man up" (except the Yorkshire WSCC Group but they do it in the right way 😉) but that's how it feels I should react to a situation like this ... however it's becoming more and more difficult to do hence this rambling post on a forum of amazing petrol heads! So thank you everyone who takes the time to read this and thank you to whoever started this thread (in my humble opinion you should be given free membership as you've given people like me a place to offload some things!). I'm not looking for sympathy or even advice. I've been on many training courses both for the medical and physiological side of things and know where to find professional support. However professional support isn't the same as real support and I just needed to unload some things. I know if I read this post again the marketer inside of me will cringe at the shocking grammar but to those who know me I hope you're understand why sometimes I'm chatty and then sometimes not! And finally is there is anyone who feels even worse than me ... PM, email or call me as I know what it's like to feel that low!

@Andy_R I really don't know what else to say but you are clearly an incredible person!!!

It's a good job we didn't bring the Westfields out today because the roads in the Peak District were running a river with great big puddles everywhere. We would have been soaked from the ground upwards. We made it to Chatsworth, where it proceeded to tip it down, ate lunch and scooted straight back home. I changed the HT leads on the Westfield this afternoon, so did manage to start the engine, but no wheels were turned 😞. I love the 'pop' noise, it sounds like when you were a kid and you used to put your finger inside your cheek and pop it out, go on, you have to do it, 'pop' ha ha funny.

Wow. So many things wizzing round in my head after reading your post above. You are are a real credit to your children.

Good morning Andy, I read this in the early hours of this morning when I was feeling pretty naff myself. You certainly have plenty on your plate is an understatement. The world is a better place with men like you in it and there are not enough words in my little brain to describe how awesome you are and the difference you are making to the lives of others. All I can say is, you REALLY need to look after and care for yourself - there is a lot depending on that! Having my own issues right now. Launched on a relationship after 4 years of recovering and learning to be alone, thinking for myself, do everything for myself blah blah… its already been a challenging situation and now I am thinking its not right for me. Still, this is a mental health thread not a Dear Marge! Maybe I will start one of those, I have always believed I would be a good relationship counsellor … Hey this weather isn't helping is it... Big hugs - keep being you @Andy_R

This will be my final blyton as i'm retiring this year!!! I have just started to finalise the web sites and regulations for the WSCC track day and Sprint Weekend. We are booked in an confirmed for the 10th July; we will be doing open sessions doing both track layouts Entries http://www.blytonsprintweekend.co.uk/the-track-day Any questions please post below. Many Thanks John

Hmmm yes. Didn't notice the dates on the earlier posts

Random Russ - very random 🤣

@Chris King - Webmaster and Joint North East AO She’s a keeper! I had a great day at Castle Coombe on Friday, 175 miles and only 30 ish cars most of whom b*****red off after lunch. It was bl**** cold (-1) to start with but warmed up by mid morning. New (to me) 13” with well worn Toyo 888s were fun to explore and bagged free tuition from Slip and Grip organisers, he wasn’t busy so did an AM and PM session. best bit was by 3pm I had the track to myself for a whole hour! So much fun! And great advice from @AdamR as the drizzle and then rain came down so my learning went up with the wetness of the track - never worked my arms so hard in a car! After my crap track day experience last year, this was so refreshing. My only niggle was my crappy gear change from 3-4 and 5-4 so need to bleed the clutch and check the selector to see if that fixes it? next up Castle Coombe again 7 April then after that I should have my trailer so it will be easier to venture further afield...

Many of you guys are saying how much you like parking sensors... In the daily they are good the down side is I forget they are not there when in the wife’s Ibiza or the camper... #ParkingByFeel

I though we had been over this with Agassi's autobiogaphy... I will Crack the seal a little bit... I struggle to expose myself to that lenghs, but, writting it down will allow me to re-visit it, and to remember my targets. doing it public sort of helps me to commit to them... I'm one of those with up and downs. I'm never too bad... (well sometimes I find myself at the vey bottom but I sort myself to a conforable place again with a few adjustmens) but never well enough to ensure an emotional stability... and that its been allways like this, but since I'm in this country is much much worst, continuously struggling, and taking the wrong decisions, and making the wrong adjustmens. I had a really low point starting around this past november, following some Very heavy family bussines (that are still being dealt with) that dragged me and my partner to a very dark place, we dealt differently with the issue and all exploded just after chrismas like a nuke. We are sort of sorted now as a couple, but not really as persons. One of my mains problems is my total inability of being alone... I like to think that is because I'm a super social person and I feel better surrounded by people to share my happines and often loud feelings, but the truth is that I can't bare being on my own... And this is difficult when you are 35, you are thousands of miles away from family, friends and what you call home, and your only daily company (my partner) works stupid shifts, and we happen to be people sharing a bed and have the odd weekend toguether more than a couple that shares a lot of time... Not different that many other families, but still though for someone like me with ZERO independence. This leaves me most of the time alone at home after work, with no many friends around to hag about and with the feeling that the life isn't worth much if is measured in beers, sofa time, and Netflix series, but that is how I choose to spend it because I'm unable to do stuff on my own. I've taken since the first week of january significant steps to learn being on my own doing stuff I enjoy and does not depend much of anyone else... And I have recovered a significant ammount of activities I had left aside during the years, because "life got in the way"... (relocating to uk, was a significant "life got on the way" thing)... Its incredible, how easy you drop something because in that moment you can't carry on, and when you could take it again, you simply don't do it because is too hard to start again, Also decieded to drop stuff that I though I enjoyed but only stresses me out... (more on that later). I have un-dusted all my musical instruments. Been a couple of times to an Open Mic sesion, and taken the executive decision to get back at the Music Stage as a Bass player. That means a significant ammount of practice hours requiered. I've been away from the stages at high (ish) level for over 10 years. So far I'm ejoying every minute of it... i do even have a test with a half serious band next week. Re-started my creative activities... Doing shirts, stickers and cool designs for people. This also helps to pay the bills of my own designs and projects. My time with the 3d printer is also well valued, and when I finish to draw something, it goes trough the printer and it finishes, still astonishes me that I'm capable of that (well the technology is). Shooting. Oh shooting. is SOOOO good. If possible, being on your own in the range, ear protectors insulating you from the world and a target in front of you with no other thoughts than this black dot in the target paper and your controlled breathing. Is so relaxing. I've significantly cutted down the ammount beer drunk during the week. I still get quite lose if i have no important activities on saturday, but I try to drink ZERO during the week. 3 beers every evening as a passtime can't be too good. I've left a bit aside the car stuff... in fact I do have a trackday in a week and I'm not sure my car will even start...Mental note... Better check it out... but the truth is that I really don't care. If it happens to work, will be a fun day, if not... is valentines day, Will sort something out at home for when she is back. And won't be doing competitive events at all. I just don't like it apparently (i though i did, but last year events were too much for me). And I'm forcing myself to cicle to work... regardless of the weather. (that its been stupid, because I've been poorly ill due cicling on wet mornings at 0 degrees... but I keep on it. hopefully will be better after february) My aim (and I'm still not quite there) is to have the desire to have free time to sit in the sofa and watch TV and drink a beer every now and then because I'm too busy doing stuff on my own, rather than this being the default passtime because I don't have people around. Will see how I get on. P.S. @AdamR's design and bulding capabilites are simple AMAZING. Every time I see one of his creations I feel embarrased because a so called "creative mechanical and development engineer" like myself would be unable to even design something like this... let alone to actually build it.

It's sad to hear (but not surprising) that people you know struggle with these sorts of issues (above and beyond the normal stresses and anxieties that we all face). It just shows how unaware we all are of peoples mental health and how easy it could be for any of us to spiral downwards and for it to be un-noticed by friends an family Coming from a person who isn't always open with his feelings I am always relieved when I get to the stage of blurting things out "A problem shared is a problem halved" I just wish it was as easy at that for all of you!