It is definate that. When my old man( ironically he was 44) passed away , it is 25 years now, I still remember the first Xmas with just mum, sis and me sat at the festive table , trying hard to create an ambience of normality, happiness and festiveness. We should have mingled with other family but reality was here and he wasnt and mum wanted to let everyone elses families not have to accept our first year off an 'oddity' . We still miss him like mad and my 44th year of life was the hardest one for me. To feel I out lived him and thought that at 44 was nothing as a life. I do talk to mum about it all , even now.
My love of cars is something he never had . Blimey, rattling around in a Fiat 131 estate in turd brown and orange velour seats was not a catchy one, I can tell you . I did say to mum, when I had my Elise, that I wished I could chuck him the keys and say ' go take mum away for the weekend' . Little things like that make me sad to think it wasnt meant to be. Life does move on, but in a different pace and different directions to where you hoped. That is the thing you must move with and strengthen yourself to that.