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Had a night last night I’d rather not ever repeat. I underwent surgery last Friday to repair an umbilical hernia that was getting close to needing emergency surgery, so caught it just in time - although I could have done without having the anaesthetic through my spine and being conscious throughout the procedure. It was successful, anyway. Part of the fun of having abdominal surgery is that your colon takes great exception to being violated, and gets its own back by shutting down. Thus since last Friday, I’ve been enduring an unwelcome visitation from the Poo Prevention Fairy. There’s very little you can do about it except ride it out, but it’s pretty uncomfortable to say the least. The medical advice is to wait a few days before trying a laxative. By the end of yesterday, three and a half days in, I was ready to try anything, so out came the Ducolax to act as an eviction order against the non-travellers in my colon. About 2:45 this morning I was awoken by a noise coming from my guts which I last heard in The Exorcist when Linda Blair was possessed, and felt a pressure near the termination of my outflow pipe that was unmistakable in intent. I hobbled to the loo as quickly as I could without releasing the toxic monster and just managed to take my place in the driver’s seat of the porcelain bus when a gust of wind emanated from my tailpipe that sounded like Satan summoning his demonic army home for a pep talk. This was followed by something I can only describe without revulsion as the worst log flume ride in the world, ever. It went on for so long I thought I’d end up on the floor and flat as a piece of paper, completely empty inside. One of the dogs came in, wrinkled its nose in disgust at the smell and left me to my fate in mid-process. This was interspersed with belches strong enough to move the curtains. All this went on 20 minutes and when it finally stopped, I managed to struggle back to bed at 315...only to repeat it all over again at 500. I only wish I’d weighed myself before the non-travellers were evicted to see how much weight I’d lost. So folks, if you think your day is a bit s**t, my literally already has been. Thought I’d share as it’s always fun to laugh at the misfortunes of others.

I have driven my Westfield 16.8 miles and can't stop smiling it is everything I was hoping for and more although never having been in one I was a bit nervous as to what to expect Roll on the spring and getting some serious miles on the beauty

Here is an edited idea from my car in word format. The whole doc runs to 20 pages but edited here for a starter for 10 to make specific to your car. Cheers Jon Westfield Cerbera Info Reference for forum.doc

I would make yourself a document of the personal specifications of your car. As every kit car is different and if its second hand then it will no doubt have been modified or improved by previous owners The purpose is to get to know your car and be able to order and fit parts for it when it needs them. You dont want to be in a position of something needing replacing and not being able to order the right one or if you take it to a garage they will say what vehicle is this from? The forum will help but do some diligent research of your car and reading old threads, googling part numbers etc to know what you need and where to get it. It best to know your own car and its requirements rather than wait for it to break, not be able to use it and then order the wrong part in panic/frustration and miss the nice weather whilst you wait for your delivery...... Starting at the front consider service items such as Radiator, temperature senders, coils packs, spark plugs, oil filter, air filters, brake pads, discs and calipers, what instruments, switches and dials do you have. Towards the back items like fuel pumps, filters and also suspension - dampers, spring ratings and any old geometry information it has been set to if you like the way it drives. Dont forget the fun research into your engine spec, cam, pistons, timing etc Westfield can supply some items but not everything and you will become a good internet searcher for good suppliers of obscure car parts. For instance and for a reason totally unknown, my car has a radiator temperature sender from an Alfa Romeo 164 V6 and a Ford Transit van fuel filter. I spent a long time in my local parts store opening boxes and measuring. As a closing point many of us replace our fuel hose quite frequently due to high ethanol content damaging fuel lines, if you have not done it , check the condition and ensure you order the right one for fuel injection for replacement - search the forum for "gates barricade" hose. Cheers Jon

Westfield Sport 250 road tested in the issue of 29th November

I reckon @aeg is starting to look pale already and needs to think about chucking a sickie at work, the remedy being lots of mince pies and cake to perk you back up. Don't worry about the car being SORN for this one, we drive about 5 miles in total, come in a tin top, it really doesn't matter on this day. There will be free food, tea and coffee on offer as usual, just pop a donation in the air ambulance tin.

Oh boy! You are in for a shock! Grandchildren... need I say more? No mortgage, certainly, long holidays? Can't be bothered.

Yes.... a very funny read, and delighted to know that your personal plumbing is back in working oreder. If you're in the mood for a bit of rib cracking then go to the clicky link thingy and read on...... not recommended if you've recently taken laxatives or are known to have a weak bladder..... https://www.amazon.co.uk/review/R3GDDEL1SC1QQ5 Nem.......

I think he still has it I have Paul's phone number if you need it

Paul aspden had a well spec'd speed series car for sale not sure if he sold it .

You can get a App on smart phones that read the contactless cards details. All they need to do is place the phone near your wallet in your pocket and it will read the details I've got mine inside a protective cover inside my wallet, which blocks anyone reading the details.

Yep sure I'll stick it up

Yes, please share. The more we see the better!

I have one on an excel worksheet and am happy to pass a copy on to anyone who like it.

After good reviews from last year our annual Xmas bash will be at the Coopers Arms again. Please have a look at http://www.thecoopers-arms.co.uk/christmas-menus-2017 and let me know if you will be coming. I need to know your choice of starter and main course, payment will be on the night by yourselves to the Coopers. Please choose from the large parties menu for 12 or more..... There will be a small raffle as last year. Garry

@SXRORY perhaps you can post it up here to enable others to copy the format. I appreciate the values are specific to your car, but it's sounds a great idea.

I had a "know your Westfield document" that came with my car. One of the previous owners had put it together. All about what it takes brake pads, oil filter, supension clicks settings for road and track. How to access certain things to get at stuff. It's fantastic, that few sheets of A4. It has saved me a lot of headaches.

Ohh ------it's not that traumatic apart from gagging on the 2 sachets of Preparation X. Think of the camera journey through your body as a video game viewed on HD TV. Marvel at the Lasso capturing alien lifeforms and negotiating the twists and turns in your intestines. At some point of the procedure you fall into serene slumber as a result of the Pre Med somewhere along the cameras journey. You then wake up greeted by a pretty nurse serving a cuppa and some biscuits. Not so bad after all.

That looks really nice. Glad to have been an inspiration.

As pointed out in Guy Martin's programme, the problem comes when a decision is needed with a strange / unnatural / random / unexpected situation. The human brain can decide fairly quickly what to do based on experience, intelligence and "common sense" whereas the computer has to rely on its coded instructions. Prime example was shown when the autonomous car engineers dialled the car up to 11 and didn't reralise the tyres had cooled significantly. First corner induced a little slide, which was corrected but then immediate full power which produced a second slide from which the car couldn't recover. As GM said, a brain would have linked the slide and tyre temps then altered the accelerator input in view of the first slide. All interesting stuff but a decent way off yet I suggest.

Nothing to see here... move alo... Oh all right...

Both the Thames Valley and Essex area meets are the 2nd Sunday of the month and..........I believe the Surrey area is looking for someone to step up as AO . Feel free to pop over to our meet Sunday week!

Sad news indeed David. Thoughts with Martin's family and of course your good self who has lost a dear friend. Richard

I have a personal interest in autonomous driving as my grandson is head of the autonomous software at NIO in silicon valley. NIO is a Chinese startup company building electric cars to rival Tesla who my grandson used to work for. Their first development car is the NIO EP9 and their first production car will be the NIO EVE https://www.nio.io/visioncar As @Dave Eastwood (Gadgetman) - Club Secretary said here's one for the Petrolheads the EP9 was used to set the lap record for production cars around the Circuit of the Americas in a driverless car which is also electric. This is a brilliant video of the achievement I love the bit where the race driver gets out of the car and it drives off!

With icy roads on the tops, plan B was put into action, so lunch with a difference it was then, pork pie, cheese, biscuits, pickled onions and pickles, yum, yum. But I had promised ice cream, so, firstly, I found an ice cream farm near Matlock that was serving mince pie flavoured ice cream. My more traditional method of navigation, the JulieNav ( memorise the route basically, with reminders on a bit of paper), failed me today because I turned left too early, and the ice cream farm was only a 4 minutes drive from the Artists Corner car park. So we can practice our Christmas songs '4 minutes drive, 3 point turn, 2 seater car and a plonker in a Westfield' sorry guys. Glen thanked me kindly for parking next to the pile of poo, right where he steps out of the car, it's hard enough getting out of the car with the roof on, avoiding the hot exhaust AND now the cow poo too. I didn't laugh...much. The Ice Cream Farm in Matlock. Martyn and Sue, Dave Eastwood, PaulVX and Pat (in the GT86). After our strange breakfast option we headed East, away from the rain, to arrive at The Travellers Rest, Apperknowle for lunch. It has far reaching countryside views, real fires, real ale and is famous for its food. Beef stew in a hollowed out loaf of bread and the pork pie platter. Erdinger Weissbier and a Fuggle Bunny real ale to wash it all down with. Paul, one of the Derby/Notts areas biggest fan, with his Dick Spanner t-shirt on It rained all day and the roads were filthy, bring it on It was only half past one and we needed a sweet, did we? well maybe not, but it was the last day that The Tea Junction at Hulme End was open, as the owner flys off to Australia for the winter, so we went for kisses and goodbyes. We went for a monkeys tea party really, and the roads were better this way. Slack Hill plus Vtech, oh what fun we had. The Tea Junction, Hulme End The monkeys tea party And still it rained I did have to check my own instructions for the start time, I have no idea why I chose 10.30 and not the usual 10.00. It was funny though, because it was raining and there is no cover at the car park, when I arrived, we all stayed in our cars and I got Dave to ring me so we could discuss what the plan was. In future we will meet at the Sainsburys in Matlock. It is the Santa Run next weekend, but the weekend after that we will re-instate the Blaze Farm run. Thank you to everyone for coming out to play on such a freezing, wet day, I love you all, kiss, kiss.

Ssh, don't tell anyone, but I might have miss-read the time for this! I swear the last few meets have been 10 am at the Artists Corner car park!! still lovely run over, if you ignore the occasional heavy rain,

We wont ever get to need them anyway as we will all be using HS2

I have set the route today, and it is quite unusual, so I thought I had better go and have a little look at it first. Mainly to check for the local bovine population, or rather their droppings, I am happy to report a negative on that front. While it was quiet, I took the opportunity to take some photographs, I never seem to get them, hanging on to an overactive teenage Westfield. This is the road to the area where we are going And this is the interim destination, the road is ONE WAY at the top. But let's not forget our final destination is the ice cream farm, they have now made their new seasonal flavours, oooh are you ready, Baileys with chocolate sauce swirls and Christmas Pudding Ice Cream. I am hoping that they sell one of those double cones, so I don't have to choose. Can't wait for Sunday

No controlling interest since 2010 say most reports. Yes there is a trust fund and there is a possibility he will benefit from dividends if Castlemead make it back in to the black (Castlemead were over 600K in the red last year). Conflict of interest is a more difficult question for me. What if he had thousands of shares in BP? Or Marks and Spencer? Or [insert company name here] and then gave some sort of government incentive to the market area that included the company in which he had shares? Is that worse than politicians sitting on Boards and being paid then lobbying for that "industry sector". Loads of them do. What about speaking engagements? Plenty do that too and I could go on. Kevin Green is the second biggest buy-to-let landord in the UK. Many people believe the buy-to-let marketis responsible for a lot of the ills in the housing market including the difficulty many have even getting on the ladder in the first place. And just to be clear here. I am neither condoning nor criticising anyone or anything. I am more interested in navigating the various points of view to see if there is some truth to be un-covered over and above "the story" and/or the angle from which the story is viewed.