Just finished an exhibition at the NEC tonight, absolutely shattered. Setup on Saturday and Monday, followed by three days of hard work and two nights of heavily delayed trips home. So when the exhibition closed this afternoon and we were breaking down the stand, humour and patience were at a minimum - well, zero actually.
I had a two wheel trolley to move things outside, which I began doing without issue. I then tried getting back in to the hall when the security nazi (a word I do not use lightly) stopped me.
"You can't bring that in."
"Why not? I just took it out!"
"It's not allowed."
"Are you insane? How is it going out fully loaded allowed and not allowed back in empty 2 minutes later?"
"Those are the rules."
"My stuff is in there. My car keys are in there. What the fark am I supposed to do?"
"Not my problem."
"It's a farking two-wheel trolley, not an artic! What's your farking issue, jobsworth?"
"I'm only following the rules."
"Well Einstein, I'm not moving and will block this exit until I get in with my trolley. Any ideas?"
"You can carry it in."
"You are joking."
"Nope."
So I picked it up, carried it in six foot, and set it back down and started wheeling it again. Now another nazi comes near me to tell me off. He starts to tell me off and I lose it. "Don't you say a farking thing to me, jobsworth, NOT A FARKING THING. I'm exhausted and I'm heading out towards a different exit and collecting my stuff on the way out, so I'm following your idiotic, stupid, pointless rules, you hi-vis robot, and don't you DARE try to stop me."
He didn't.
I collected my stuff and went out the same exit. When I got there, I stopped, took the stuff off the trolley, took it outside and left it, came back in, picked up my trolley and carried it six foot out the door and set it back down, then turned and gave the security nazi my pass and a V-sign and invited him to report me. I hope he does, but the stupid git probably won't so I won't the get the satisfaction of ripping his boss a new one.