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extract from the variation of 50 shades of grey , 50 shades of chav "Even though he only had one tattoo I yearned for him to fill those lonely hours between Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women". As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day I just knew my pink Kappa tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight." "It was Wayne's birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle. I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His f...avourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time." "Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I thought of this as he lay on top of me making love. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange. As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling out Braille for I love you" "As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons why I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Wayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to block the ally way so we wouldn't be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same." "My mum had told me to leave Wayne many times due to the violence but I knew he loved me as he always took his Sovereign ring off before he hit me. Tonight though he was in a foul mood, I had f***** his tea up after failing to de-frost his prawn ring I had nicked from farm foods. He picked up the power lead from my kids mega drive and whipped it across my doughy A***. It stung but I liked it. I shouted again again so he carried on. I thought my shell suit would rip into a million pieces. As I looked over my shoulder I saw his Weetabix toothed smile. He even had a semi on which rare as the crack normally played havoc with his erections"

Playing devil's advocate here Norm, yes these people paid in all their lives but iut was this generation that spent the money like there was no tomorrow through the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s, now us youngsters are left footing the bill for the hole in the public coffers and the same people that spent it all are now asking for more to fund the care homes. So do we plough more money into their care homes which will encourage our generation to expect endless handouts off the state? Should we take the money from the schools? The police? The NHS to fund this? We can't keep pulling money out of our arses for ever, everyone's complaining, the young, the old, the middle aged, we're all feeling the squeeze on public spending - it's one big s**t sandwich and we all have to take a bite ... to plug the hole this generation created for us

Don't you think the rest of us pay enough taxes to pay for the few that need care in their old age.

Thank you my little echo.

I'm not sure ( and I'm happy to be wrong on this ) that much of the technology makes it "easier" to drive the cars? It just allows the driver to control certain mechanical parts of the car throughout the race. Adjusting engine setting to either preserve fuel/engine wear or to make it more aggressive to attack for position. Adjusting differential settings, brake balance, etc... Might make the car drive better through different parts of a circuit but is it really easier to havd to be changing all these things to stay competitive? I would argue its easier to drive a car that you just steer, accelerate, brake rather than constantly be changing settings just to make sure you keep all those 1/10th secs

Great news Norman, now get the garage door on so the birds don't sh*t on the car