Bob Green Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 A man in a pub says "what do you call a deer with no eyes?" The drunk next to him says "no idea" That must be my bus! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buzzer Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 yes I think so Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richgm Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 "coat get and run" spring to mind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CateringVan Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs ? "still no idea" groan..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 Peguine goes into a pub. He goes up to the barman and says 'Have you seen my dad?' The barman replies 'No - what does he look like' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liam Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 A woman goes into a pet shop to by a parrot. The pet shop owner says he only has one but it's not for sale because it has come from brothel and swears like a trooper. 'Oh, that's no problem' says the woman, 'I've trained parrots before, we can soon retrain it' So the deal is done When she gets home she puts it in the kitchen and explains to the children that they must treat the parrot with the utmost kindness and teach it to say simple parrot things The first child tries. 'Pretty Polly, pretty Polly'. Nothing. The second child tries. 'Pretty Polly, pretty Polly'. Zilch. The woman tries. 'Pretty Polly, pretty Polly'. Nada, just a fed up looking parrot. Dad comes home and they tell him about the lack of success and (being a man) he says he knows the trick and goes into the kitchen whereupon the parrot says........... 'Hello Keith, haven't seen you for f*****g ages!' Look, I didn't start this so don't blame me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mogwi Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 Man goes into an Indian take away and orders a Chicken Tarka Masala. "Don't you mean a Tikka Masala?" asks the guy serving "No" replies the man "It's like a Tikka, only a little 'otter" I listen to Radio 2 as well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Elworthy Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 A reformed drug addict finally gets fed up of being stuck in the house and the need for a fix gets the better of him. Naturally his wife has cleared the place of any pills and so on, but after a lengthy search he finds a pot of curry powder in the kitchen cupboard. When his wife returns home she discovers him unconsciuous on the kitchen floor with the empty curry powder pot on the floor next to him. He gets rushed to hospital, and after waiting for a couple of hours for news, the consultant emerged to speak to her. How is he? she asked, to which the Consultant replied, its not good news I'm afraid, your husband has slipped into a Korma. I thank you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7SE Posted July 30, 2003 Share Posted July 30, 2003 Since the tone has dropped anyway... What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no dick? Still no f***ing idea I'm going now, sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonnyBoy Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 if someone asks me a questio to which i dont know the answer, then I am 'like a dear with no eyes'! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Elworthy Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 What do you call a man with a tree on his head? Edward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Elworthy Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 What do you call a man with 2 trees on his head? Edward Wood Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Elworthy Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 What do you call a man with 3 trees on his head? Edward Woodward Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Elworthy Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 What do you call a man with 4 trees on his head? I don't know.........but Edward Woodward Would. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisbin Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 Christmas Eve... "is that snow falling outside?" "no, its Reindeer....." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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