DavidR Posted May 29, 2003 Share Posted May 29, 2003 It has always been my dream to be in a warm sunny place surrounded by attractive females having fun, with lots to drink, good food and laughing and joking... Well it has finally happened, I have got to that place. . . . . . .AND IT IS H E L L !!!!!! It is my daughter's 16th birthday today, she has a giant bouncy castle in the back garden and 25 shrieking, screaming, laughing, cackling, sweating and dancing 16 year old girls are currently listening to the "Party mix" and dancing the hokey cokey on the bouncy castle to Craig David. I have locked myself away in the study to try and block out the noise. Girls keep coming in to see if its the loo, and then wanting to chat to me. . . . .BUT THEY'RE ONLY 16 I keep telling myself. . .. (hits head on wall several times to block out thoughts.) Not only is it warm and these girls are sweating but I don't think any of them know what a sports bra is, let alone own one but they should all be wearing them. Bouncy castles and this lot are too much. Photography has been banned by SWMBO and daughter cos it's inappropriate - what? at a birthday party? ? ? It's just as well I don't have a video camera cos that would be confiscated if anyone ever found the video. So just to aggravate all you current and latent dirty old men out there, don't bother with the dream. . .. .it's not worth it. My heart won't stand much more of this. .. (hits head on wall again, oh, for goodness sake I am even in time with the bl**** music now.) Oh my god, they're beginning to go now, I am just standing here (open mouthed and speechless) while all these women (girls) leave and say thank you for a wonderful time.... (No one's said that to me since 1972 and there's never been more than 1 of them before.) I need a strong drink and a quiet dark room to recover in. I had thought of using the lounge but no . . . . . I have just found out that 6 of them are sleeping over tonight, oh my god!, To add insult to injury they now want bacon sandwiches for breakfast before they go home in the morning. I am on a diet (daughter knows that too, the little ######). I am emigrating to a land with no women, no girls and no modern music (well, nothing post 1990). Just come and get me in a white truck with a straight jacket and take me away and lock me up. .. . .pleeeaase ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! An old man with dreams of paradise asunder. But at least I've been out in the Westie this evening David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S8ight Posted May 29, 2003 Share Posted May 29, 2003 any chance of putting your adress on here for a few of us (shuffles sideways whilst whistling) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JonnyBoy Posted May 29, 2003 Share Posted May 29, 2003 i find knocking one out is the bet way to relieve sexual tension...however i probably shouldnt have just written that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick M Posted May 29, 2003 Share Posted May 29, 2003 Now while I've been very tempted to beat SWMBO around the head from time to time, I don't think I'd ever try and knock her out to relieve any sexual tensions !! Not least because it would probably result in still more tension (due to the lack of sex it would no doubt result in !!. Plus she'd probably turn right round and thump me back !! Oh, or do you mean..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisbin Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 Thanks for the warning.......only 7 years to go...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blatman Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 Hey David... Any chance of an invite to your daughters 18th......... and 21st............ and any birthday in between........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steppenwolf Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 Hey David... Any chance of an invite to your daughters 18th......... Why wait? 17th invite would be just fine Luckily, Steppenwolfess doesn't do internet or email ...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neilwillis Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 YOU HOPE.... Trust me, there's a huge conspiracy among women. She knows!!!! Can I have an invite too? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steppenwolf Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 Trust me, there's a huge conspiracy among women. She knows!!!! ....ohmigod no .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scooby Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 OMG how did you survive.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
david.c Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 About 6 years ago wife and I ditched the kiddies and went to Caribean for our 10th Anniversary We were enjoying people watching and sussing out who was who, etc. when we (especially me) noticed these absolutely stunning twins of about 20 years of age (my wifes estimate aswell). In the 2nd week of the holiday we found out that they weren't twins, but sisters with an eleven month age gap. And the worst bit..........the youngest one had only just turned 15 in the 1st week and the elder wasn't sixteen for a few more weeks How guilty did I feel David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neilwillis Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 In fact I'd go as far as to say the whole party was part of a huge plot to make you feel insecure, facing temptation beyond the endurance of us mere males. Next you'll get a phone call from one of her mates. She's always been attracted to older men etc etc....... STAY AWAY!!!!! Give her my phone number instead, I know how to deal with these people Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timo Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 post some photographs and let the rest of us decide if its that bad! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Westfields Rock On Posted May 30, 2003 Share Posted May 30, 2003 hehe, lucky young whippersanppers like me are surrounded by these temptresses everyday, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. have a nice webpage with some revealing shots of ................................. well, you wont be interested. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Elworthy Posted May 31, 2003 Share Posted May 31, 2003 Date for the Diary then - 2 years today, May 31st 2005...... DavidR's daughter's 18th Birthday party Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.