Barnsley John Posted March 29, 2020 Share Posted March 29, 2020 short story As we are at a loose end for 10 minits Up here in Barnsley we are always looking at making a quick buck or two so two good mates one called Breakable and Barnsley john decided to get their heads together Breakable also known as des on the wscc forum has a 2.0 l duratec westy and lives 4 miles from Barnsley john John also known as cant spell john as a 2.0 l honda westy There as been some keen banter over the past years with who has and got the best car between us when we were arguing one day we said lets be constructive and came up with a plan to make us rich the scheme is to breed our two cars and sell the little car pups to make some easy cash So first we would need some help from friends on the forum firstly from martin and sue has he is the mot vet and pup inspector down in Staffordshire area Also witnesses’ with Julie and glen as glen wanted the first pic of the pups as long it was a honda and also to recap glens mind on things how its done So the big day came up here in Barnsley We went to deses because he his posh and there’s oil all over drive from his car. so we all gathered round the two cars comforting the little honda The Duratek in blue was like a pit bull terrier with its chavy chain at front end and more electronic aids inside needing the national grid to power it Snarling and water dripping from mouth and radiator its stance with its wide tyres ready to pounce on my whimpering Honda Which is Built like a greyhound and slender compared to the chavy bully Duratek Gen was looking on in exactment as the duruatecs s exhaust grew to a magnificent shinny pipe The deed was done and the Duratek blew its head gasket and oil was all over after 20 seconds About the time of its owner s performance so debs says to me on our nights out My Honda was stoked as it had been abused from the blue beast Martin said let me know when the pup cars are born and I will give them a full health check 1 month later 7 little car pups were born Martyn was summoned to deses for the pup cars to be looked at He said bad news you guys there all Z tecs with problems and low HP My view is that it’s the duratec that’s faulty cams but the honda looks nice and healthy I would Get shut of them quick if I was you two idiots We were gutted as we knew Hondas would sell for loads of money duratecs a lot less And Z tecs very little So that night I decided to advertise them on piston car pups I used deses dyno readings saying 210 hp and we all know that is a lie I then copied them to each car to get shut and attract a buyer They were snapped up in two days . the guy that came said all take the lot I said were you from sir His reply was Ashby dela pooch and he took them all The moral of the story his don’t breed your car with inferior ford cars, and you wont end up like us having to get rid quick and for next to nowt No cars were hurt in this story and glen has a permanent smile Martyn overcharged us for the cars mot s and will sort him out soon as we can go out stay safe and we will all be out soon I am sure if we follow the guidelines thanks for reading BJ 1 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breakable? Posted March 29, 2020 Share Posted March 29, 2020 😂 to be honest John that’s not the first and only time your Honda has been shafted by my Duratec 😆🤣 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TAFKARM Posted March 29, 2020 Share Posted March 29, 2020 Eh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barnsley John Posted March 29, 2020 Author Share Posted March 29, 2020 your cars like you des in a animal world full of bull 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wizzer Posted March 29, 2020 Share Posted March 29, 2020 Sounds to me, you'd have been better breading the honda with somthing with a pedigree, strong, powerful, and classy somthing from cosworth like the 20xe not a copy of a xe the durabang 😂 Tony Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CraigHew Posted March 29, 2020 Share Posted March 29, 2020 Oh John, you do make me laugh......👍🏿 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Hall - WSCC AO Representative Posted March 29, 2020 Share Posted March 29, 2020 So very funny John, although I will hide it from the Zetech engined Rita b***h as it might hurt her feelings, she already gets jealous of my fondness of Honda Dogs. Missing your humour already, it's going to be a long summer. Woof 🐶 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Barlow - Show and Events Co-ordinator Posted March 29, 2020 Share Posted March 29, 2020 @Barnsley John ..legend ...were any of the pups white? looks like the Honda could have been a naughty girl and had an affair with @The Cheese 's turbo Zetec? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barnsley John Posted March 29, 2020 Author Share Posted March 29, 2020 great to here from you julie yes the weather has just picked up and car was i say was taxed now sorned looked forward to the little cafes you know in the peaks we have squires bit of a difference but it is wat it is cu you soon john and jacky and our new baby lotty the pup 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barnsley John Posted March 29, 2020 Author Share Posted March 29, 2020 i marcus no my car did not mate with the cheeses turbo its pipe was two small and gave it up has a bad job think the outcome would have been 1 turbo honda selling for a mint 6 kitten ztecs the tortoises shell ones you know the bl**** slow ones giving them back to creig for a consolation present for trying sorry creig but marcus did mention you 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Hall - WSCC AO Representative Posted March 30, 2020 Share Posted March 30, 2020 Just a thought, for the wider population that might be wondering where all this has come from, should we mention that Des and Debs are actually dog breeders. I think everyone knows that John is just maaaad😁 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Barlow - Show and Events Co-ordinator Posted March 30, 2020 Share Posted March 30, 2020 36 minutes ago, Julie Hall - Peak District AO said: John is just maaaad😁 and that was before he got quarantined 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CraigHew Posted March 30, 2020 Share Posted March 30, 2020 11 minutes ago, marcusb said: and that was before he got quarantined Or had another night on the wine gums.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marcus Barlow - Show and Events Co-ordinator Posted March 30, 2020 Share Posted March 30, 2020 2 minutes ago, CraigHew said: Or had another night on the wine gums.... or a deadly combination of the two...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barnsley John Posted March 30, 2020 Author Share Posted March 30, 2020 no wine gums for me guys were all like this round here any way heres round 2 for you to go to bed on part2 sellers remorse having gone to bed that night thinking we have got to make some money and we have been done I could not sleep thinking about the poor little z tec pup cars in that big warehouse down in ashby de la pooch with all them other z tecs and duratecs waiting to be processed as we got next to nothing for them with them been faulty due to the ford I thought Barnsley john amd brakeable des would hatch a plan to rescue the poor little b*****res this would need stealth and a band of faithful ztec pinto and duratec owners to pull it off so I summand des at 2.00 am that morning on the phone he replayed what the hell you ringing for at this time have just started making love to debs ok I said all ring you back in 30 seconds then rang glen and Julie he was polishing car still and rang martyn and sue he was fixing is head on car we all met the next day and glen and Julie fetched the car transporter, and martyn and sue came up to make sure the welfare of the pup cars in transportation where kept to the highest degree of ministry of transport regulations and he still owed us some money so we would sort him out at the same time we then proceeded to ashby de la pooch and we araived at the the big warehouse. when we all broke after about 3 hrs we all went whowwwwwwww there were the little z tec pups cars with a ugly black carbon stripe down there backs and a cheep tin badge /collar on there face saying westpee al marked up at £20000 the bast**d we all said he’s defaced the poor little things trying to increase the profit I would say there were other cars all over the building even some saying SOLD we all know that’s a lie a bit like des es hp figures on his car there was a a big red car that was out of the james bond movie and I wanted that but Des said it will brake before you get it home so leave it we got the little pup cars onto the transporter and covered them over with a large tarpaulin sheet saying AA back to Barnsley WE WENT we stored them ad posh deses for the night before deciding what we could do des went back to bed to well ? glen went back to polishing and martyn went back to fix sue a meen his head to be continued don’t have nightmares reading this remember try before ya buy or take one on that’s wat I said to deses girlfriend anyway 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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