Memories

[Captain Colonial]

If you are anything like me, you probably have some memories of your father that are very similar to mine.

As a small boy, I remember "helping" my dad fix his cars by retrieving tools for him as he was either draped over the engine or flat on his back under the car. I had no idea what many of them were, of course, but what amazed me was how he knew the difference without looking at it. A typical conversation, repeated in some form or another a hundred times:

Him: "I need a 5/8ths open end wrench (spanner)."

Me: "OK!" I look in the tool box and grab what I think is right, and hand it to him.

Him, without looking at it and by feel alone: "Nope, that's a 9/16ths - try again."

I remember how hard my father used to work to keep a roof over our heads, how tired he was when he came home, and how he still had time to talk to and play with us. It didn't mean much to me then, but I respect it now.

I remember a bad winter in South Dakota, where there was nearly a meter of wet snow on the pitched roof, which could have caused it to collapse, and he went up on the ten meter high roof to clear it - not long after, the family watched from the sitting room window as he slid off the roof and fell into the meter of wet snow on the ground, and was then buried under all the snow on the roof. (Winded but OK - how we laughed.)

I remember how he constantly had a pipe on the go, so much so that walking through the house on occasion became an exercise in touch navigation and holding your breath.

I remember his belly laughs, his love of country music, and his fondness for a tiny bit of Jack Daniels when my mother wasn't looking, which he kept in his tool kit in the garage.

I remember giving him my Mustang when I left America in 1987, and seeing the look on his face when he drove it, like a teenager all over again - and the frustration that he could never get the radio pre-sets to stay on his beloved country channels, as the next time he started the car, they would all revert to my rock stations (good car, that).

I remember learning how he rescued my mother from a terrible life when he was just 16, and how he spent decades bringing up five kids, a menagerie of loony pets, and sacrificing his own dreams when my mother became seriously ill at age 30, devoting the next four decades to looking after her.

I remember him, despite his faults, as a simple, kind, stubborn, opinionated, hard-working, and thoughtful man.

Most of all, I remember how devoted and in love he was with my mother, married 53 happy years, and how lost he was in 2005 when she died. I thought he would die as well within six months, so bereft was he, but I stayed on top of him, Skyping him every day and doing what I could to support him from a distance, my siblings who lived reasonably close doing what they could as well. He pulled through and after a while was reasonably content on his own, but he was never again complete. Even though he fought a running battle fighting bladder cancer for years, he refused to give up his pipe and his Jack Daniels - but always had his wife at his side in spirit.

Well, they're back together now - he left us to re-join her late Tuesday night, and I know that they're together again, both pain-free and happy.

Thanks for the memories, Dad. Thanks for everything.

[Norman Verona]

Our condolences Scott. Keep those memories, they are truly priceless.

[Andy Banks]

Scott, you have brought tears to my eyes As Norm said, precious memories. Our thoughts are with you...

[cast iron]

nice words, welling up here.

[Cleggy the Spyder Man]

Sounds like a well loved man - clearly he made his mark

Keep your chin up Scott

[Marcus Barlow - Show and Events Co-ordinator]

Sorry to hear of your loss Scott

[Hoon68]

I'm sorry to hear your news Scott. I'm sure he has many memories like yours of you and his other family members.

He may have Gone to find peace with his wife, but he'll never forgotten by those who loved him I'm sure.

[*Emma*]

Lovely words. Brought a tear to my eye.

[Mark Stanton]

Many condolences Scott ......... excellent words and beautiful memories

[alexander72]

God Bless your Dad Scott - And God Bless you...

You are in our thoughts.... beautiful words. (tear in my eye too here as I remember my Old Man....)

James and Debbie

[Bob Green]

Your Dad would be so proud of you writing that tribute.

Truly moving and wonderfully written. My families thoughts are with and your family.

Bless you.

[SteveD]

keep those memories scott , some very nice words there , thoughts are with you wuv

[funky munky]

Deepest condolences Scott, Mums and Dads Priceless

Hang on to good memories

Pete

[7sRWild]

Sincere and heart felt condolances to you and your family Scott. Your open tribute to your father is a credit not only to you but also to the man who instilled such wonderful sensitivity and values into your upbringing. Our thoughts and prayers are most certainly with you. We here on the forum are blessed to share the gentleman, scholar, your Dad raised. God bless him and your Mum.

[Rusty Nuts]

^{Sorry about your loss Scott, but the memories will be with you forever. An old Indian saying goes don't give life material goods but give it fond memories and your dad seems to have done that.}