Bean Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 wheres the x in Leonna ? cheers Jeff - i kinda hoped it wasn't just me alone being thick. Are you not familiar with Dyslexia either? Agreed, it's not funny if we have to explain it It's not a joke that is particularly pointed at Dyslexia, the funny thing was that CZ was way behind with the news, sorry if I have offended anyone Don't forget almost every single joke written takes the P**s out of a minority/ disadvantaged / racially different group. It only becones serious when folks take it seriously LOL, precisely Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RichP Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Fork handles for brianm: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianm Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 Billhooks!!![B] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hank Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 This frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless knickers in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits in the lounge opposite her husband. At strategic moments she crosses her legs enough times till her husband says, "Are you wearing crotchless knickers?" "Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile. "Thank Christ for that....... I thought the stuffing was coming out of the sofa!." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephenh Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Got any P's? Its an age thing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianm Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Got any P's? Its an age thing! Awright, got any OOO's Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffC Posted October 23, 2009 Author Share Posted October 23, 2009 This frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless knickers in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits in the lounge opposite her husband. At strategic moments she crosses her legs enough times till her husband says, "Are you wearing crotchless knickers?" "Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile. "Thank Christ for that....... I thought the stuffing was coming out of the sofa!." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nic Ayre Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Teacher to class "Can anyone give me a sentence with the word Contagious in it. Mary put her hand up and said " Miss my mum said my cousin has chicken pox and that it was contagious" Very good Mary, can anyone else give me another sentence? Ignoring little Johnny who was waving his hand frantically at the back of the class. Molly put her hand up and said " there was an item on the news last night about swine flu and the newsreader said that was very contagious" Very good Molly, Johnny was still waving his arm aloft and as nobody else was volunteering the Teacher knowing Johnny'e reputation reluctantly gave in. "Yes Johnny what is your sentence?" she asked. "My next door neighbour is painting the outside of his house with a half inch paint brush and my Dad said it is going to take the contagious" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianm Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 Teacher to class "Can anyone give me a sentence with the word Contagious in it. Mary put her hand up and said " Miss my mum said my cousin has chicken pox and that it was contagious" Very good Mary, can anyone else give me another sentence? Ignoring little Johnny who was waving his hand frantically at the back of the class. Molly put her hand up and said " there was an item on the news last night about swine flu and the newsreader said that was very contagious" Very good Molly, Johnny was still waving his arm aloft and as nobody else was volunteering the Teacher knowing Johnny'e reputation reluctantly gave in. "Yes Johnny what is your sentence?" she asked. "My next door neighbour is painting the outside of his house with a half inch paint brush and my Dad said it is going to take the contagious" That one hit the spot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianm Posted October 24, 2009 Share Posted October 24, 2009 Teacher was doing elimentry english. Asking for a word beginning with the letter A, little Jonny shot his hand up, Miss miss miss? Yes Jonny what is it? A******e miss. A little taken back she gently reminded him it was not a word he should be using in class and quickly passede on the the word B. Again Jonnys was the only had to rise, Miss miss miss? Thinking he would have taken heed, she asked for his word. b*****ks, Jonny blurted out. No Jonny, you can't use word like that, go and stand in the corner. She obviously then asked for a word begining with C Little Jonnys hand was waving up annd down in the corner. No Jonny I know what you're likely to say so don't. Little Mary reluctantly raised her hand much to teachers relief. Yes Mary what is you word? Cat miss? Excellant Mary, now do you see the words we are looking for? Jonny nods quietly. Now the letter D anyone? Not a hand was raised with the exception of Jonnys. Teacher paused a while going through every swear word she could think of. Sensing she should be on safe ground she asked Jonny what his word was. Dwarf miss, he replied mischeiviously, with a f**king great dangler. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffC Posted October 27, 2009 Author Share Posted October 27, 2009 what does popeye have for breakfast bacon and eggeggeggeggeggeggeggegge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pistonbroke Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 always thought Popeye had olive oil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kermit The Frog Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 Why couldn’t the lifeguard save the hippy? Because he was too far-out man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nic Ayre Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 I saw a farmer in his field manhandling a sheep, I said "Are you Shearing" To which he replied. "No F**k off and get yer own" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bean Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 I used to date an English teacher once, she dumped me for improper use of the colon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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