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the joke thread


JeffC

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http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK/ref=acr_search_see_all?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

 

Not a joke in the usual sense. A link to a customer review page on Amazon (really!), laughed till I cried.

Oh, and don't stop at the first one, there's loads.........

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Great news..... Malaysia Airline missing aircraft..... Some Wongs have been found....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But they still can't find the wings....

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http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK/ref=acr_search_see_all?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

Not a joke in the usual sense. A link to a customer review page on Amazon (really!), laughed till I cried.

:d :D :d:d:d:d
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  • 1 month later...

Back on January 9th, a group of Hells Angels, South Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,
"Hey Baby . . . whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked . . . "Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe . . .
why don't you give ol' George here your best last kiss?"

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that . . .
and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting there, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.

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  • 1 month later...

I've just deleted all the German contacts off my phone.

 

It's now Hans-free

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  • 10 months later...

I took the shell off my racing snail to make it go a bit faster but now it’s more sluggish.

 

Who was the roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table?

Sir Cumference

 

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Mikey

Mikey who

Mikey won’t fit in the lock

 

What does a sub-atomic duck say?

Quark

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  • 2 years later...

I hired a limo the other day, cost me 300 quid!  They just dropped it off and handed me the keys and left.

I couldn’t believe it.

 

300 quid and nothing to chauffeur it.

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news just in 

A ship carrying cargo of red paint collides with ship full of blue paint  

Both crews now marooned !

 

 

 

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What about the fat, alcoholic transvestite? 

All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary....

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26 minutes ago, CraigHew said:

What about the fat, alcoholic transvestite? 

All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary....

Uuuummm. I don’t drink.

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