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[*Emma*]

It's just that it doesn't sound like you've experienced being with children, let alone your own!  They are little individual people with minds of their own, who do the unexpected occasionally.  You must be bringing your children up on military lines for them never (apparently) do anything wrong.

Sorry if I'm sounding a bit hippyish!  

BTW, back to the holding hands thing, what if I had three or more children?  Would I have to stay at home all the time?  

Back to topic, it is up to ALL of us to help teach children to cross roads safely, by showing a good example at ALL times.  So many times I have to point out to my children the 'naughty wo/man' dashing across the road when it isn't safe to do so.

[Blatman]

My children were not angels by any means, but there is a time and a place. They were free to run riot in the garden or in the park subject to not annoying innocent bystanders. I don't think you are being hippyish at all. I gave my children as much free reign as possible, but not if it would put them at obvious risk. They were of course free to climb trees, eat earthworms, annoy wasps, and do all that good wholesome child discovery stuff that kids do. Getting knocked down on the road is *mostly* avoidable, though and I will argue with anyone who says it isn't. Running riot on the road is not acceptable and that message was instilled in them by both what I said and how I treated them when required. Sure there will be occasional exceptions, but the point of this thread (and the others that I contribute to on this subject) is that the givernment are seemingly placing ALL the responsibility on the driver. This I'm sure is having an effect on the way parents and older children behave such that they do and not control their actions as well as they might because the message is that they can blame the driver. I don't think that message is acceptable...

[Boomy]

How did a 4 year old get run over on a road that was dangerous to cross by a driver that was doing 26 mph?.

Dropped his balloon?  Seen a friend?  Running away from Mum as a joke?  A four year old can quite easily get distracted.  My six year old recently walked into the road without looking just last week.  We were just talking, I stopped at the kerb, he didn't.  Luckily nothing was coming.

I'm sure we are all aware of what can happen with kids, but it does say that he was "crossing" the road.Quite what that means i don't know but there is no mention of balloons and such.

My point was, the road was supposedly dangerous to cross, the driver was only travelling at 26 mph yet the child was still allowed to run into the road and get knocked down, and the parents suggestion is to "widen that road and stop cars parking".

Surely, when a car is moving so slowly the answer is to control your child a little better?.

Or, if we know that accidents can happen because kids have minds of their own, just accept it and don't try to punish other road users in such a situation.

As a 4 year old, i would have never been allowed to walk near the kerb, let alone get the opportunity to cross on my own.I would have been almost squashed against the walls of houses as far away from the road as was possible if it was busy.

The road was made to seem as scary to me as the toilet monster that wanted to eat me in the night!. : p

If i had dropped a balloon i would have been told to "leave it" in no uncertain terms if it went anywhere near a road.

In fact it would have been shouted at me, filling me with those electric shocks of suprise to make sure i never thought about doing it again.

[lukeyboy]

I personally believe that small children should be restrained or have their hands held (tightly) by a parent and kept away from the live traffic side, when near any road. You might know the difference between a busy road and a quiet one, but a small child does not. If you want to compare it to military training then so be it, but repetition is one way of drilling it in. Children do not percieve danger or have the experience to deal with dangers around them, it's the role of the parent to safe guard and teach them, until a time when they can look after themself.

The last two fatal / life threatening accidents involving young children that came across my desk was because they were not restrained by their mothers (returning from the shops with shopping bags etc). The parent stopped at the side of the road, the children didn't! These were 2 seperate incidents with the same causes. Quite frankly I would rather put the fear of god into my kids, rather than loose one under a car infront of my own eyes.

On the point of higher child accidents in poorer areas, yes you might have point that people with more cash might ferry their kids to school in the Chelsea tractor, hence why they are not getting run over, but the main reason is because half the time scumbag parents want them out of their hair and boot them out of the house, not to be seen for about 4 hours. I had a nice letter of a halfwitted lady complaining that her 7 year old son had been run over crossing the biggest A road into town, while on his way for her cigs from the local shop!! How do you answer that letter?

Everyone has a right to use the public highway and should give thought and consideration to each other. Just remember though that a ton of rolling steel is stronger than skin and bone. You have to be responsible for your own safety to a certain extent.

[JeffC]

we have 3 boys  and are prob over protective, when I think back to some of the things I did as a kid , I would have a heart attack if my kids did half as much      

our elder lad  at 10 has decent road sense but  has only in the last year been allowed to play out on his own...

my 8 year old has no idea whatsoever, despite telling him every day he doesnt look for cars and sees no danger  and if given the chance I know he would prob walk in front of a car , for this reason we dont let him play out and keep hold of him when we are out ,visious circle  he isnt given freedom to be street wise, but we would rather have him in 1 piece , but god knows when he will learn! will still be holding his ma"s hand at 18  

swmbo read some statistics somewhere that said a child cant judge the pace of an oncoming car until they are 12 years old dont know how right that is  but It amazes  me when we drive around and see kids of about 4 years old playing on main roads with no adult supervision , they obviously learn a lump earlier  than my kids did

[lukeyboy]

will still be holding his ma"s hand at 18  

I would love to see that... also, mum spitting into a tissue and wiping his face infront of all his mates  

Would be a hit with the ladies!!!

[*Emma*]

I think we'll just stay indoors in future!  Howard will come home from work to find us starving because I am unable to hold shopping bags and hands of both children.  We should have thought of this when we decided to have our second child, and not had him.  

[Lurksalot]

I see mothers letting toddlers walk on the pavement while they are stood in a group all with empty pushchairs

(not to be sexist, I'm sure some fathers might aswell, but I don't stop to look at them   )

[Boomy]

I think we'll just stay indoors in future!  Howard will come home from work to find us starving because I am unable to hold shopping bags and hands of both children.  We should have thought of this when we decided to have our second child, and not had him.  

The thing is, you are obviously a sensible parent.

Nobody is suggesting staying indoors etc, but when errors are pointed out, often Mums and Dads instantly go on the defensive because they assume you are accusing them of being bad parents.Many won't have any interest at all in what you have to say.

You obviously don't fall into that catagory simply from what you have mentioned here.

There has to be a balance struck of course in terms of protection and frolics, but the fact remains and as Baltman says, the majority of these accidents could of been avoided.

If i got near a road and my Mum had shopping bags she would drop the shopping bags, grabbed me and i would be in a heap of trouble.That would have only ever needed to happen once though.

Or, more than likely, if the situation occured where she simply could not trust or control any kids she had with her, then she would have made other arrangements for the task at hand.

I had a superb childhood with some of the easiest going parents possible, yet crossing a road unaided or even being allowed to get near one didn't happen for me until i was much older.My mum was always in a higher state of awareness where ever we had to go with me as her number one priority where roads were concerned.

What you can see happening on the street these days seems to confirm that standards have slipped in that department.And even worse, the blame for accidents is aimed at the driver in many cases.

There is a reason i was never run over as a child, but it had nothing to do with being lucky that a car wasn't coming or because a vehicle was going slowly.

But then i appreciate every situation is different, some people have no need to cross a road to get to school for example, others need to cross twenty.Some roads have hardly any traffic, some you have to wait ten minutes to cross.

You can't prepare for every single eventuality and it is not always pracitcal to avoid situations that demand crossing roads etc, but it would appear many parents have forgotten the dangers.

They seem to either not care, not give it much thought or assume the lower speed limit and camera will keep little Billy safe these days.

When it doesn't keep him safe, they demand lower limits, less parked cars or road widening it seems and conveniantly forget that they may of been at fault.

Blame the idiot behind the wheel of the huge chunk of metal for travelling at 26 mph.Marvelous.

[JeffC]

will still be holding his ma"s hand at 18   <!--emo&

I would love to see that... also, mum spitting into a tissue and wiping his face infront of all his mates  

Would be a hit with the ladies  !!!

oh hes that now allready        excuse to repost this pic  

[Boomy]

You are under abreast!

[lukeyboy]

I didn't know my mum and my aunty were out that weekend

[dangerous6]

I think we should do what the yanks do and fine everyone for JAY Walking, if they don't use crossing like they should.

[felters]

I'm not sure that it get's much better when they grow up...

http://www.aa-uk.org.uk/alcohol....ns.html