12345 once I cought a fish alive

[Major Stare]

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cubbard

to fetch her poor dog a bone.

But when she bent over,

Rover took over

And gave her a bone of his own!

[Major Stare]

Mary had a little skirt

with splits right up the sides

and everywhere that Mary went

the boys could see her thighs.

Mary had another skirt

'twas split right up the front

...But she didn't wear that one often

     

[Major Stare]

Little boy blew......

He needed the money.

[Peter Cox]

Mary had a rollbar,

But she didn't have a cage,

She tried to wear a helmet,

But it wasn't all the rage.

She entered the speed series,

And came a creditable third,

Anyone who criticised her,

Was just given the big bird.

Last month she changed the engine,

From a crossflow to an anchor,

But the bloke who sold it to her,

Was a complete and utter not very nice person.

She took the car on track,

And caned it's cutesy A***,

But the bloke who'd sold the engine,

Just wouldn't let her pass.

So she found him in the paddock,

And had a word or two,

Like a fool he didn't listen,

And so the air turned blue.

At last she calmed right down,

And asked him for her money,

But he just laughed and said,

"Darlin', you're just being funny".

So she ripped out her old anchor,

And feeling rather numb,

Took it back to him,

And shoved it up his bum.

So the moral of the story,

Is mess with Mary at your peril,

Because although she may seem cuddly,

She's really rather feral.

I could've gone on but I've got to go shopping for a life...

[pistonbroke2]

Tickets for the 2 Ronnies Concert.

Now half price.

[Major Stare]

Two nuns riding bikes down a bumpy country lane, one says to the other,

"we dont usually come this way"

the other nun replies

" i know, we usually take the A356"

[barney]

Mary had a little Lamb

and had a little bear

you always saw her little lamb

but never saw her bear..

[barney]

roses are red

but i like carnations

your crap in bed

so i did your alsation...(sp?)

[Gavin]

Simple Simon met a pieman going to the fair.

Said Simple Simon to the pieman

"What have u got there?"

Said the pieman unto Simon

Pies you dangler.

[Major Stare]

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall

which was bl**** remarkable considering he's an egg

[cast iron]

Mary had a little lamb

She took it down to Reading

She tied it to a gatepost

and kicked its blinking head in

at least I think it was blinking

[brianm]

Hickory Dickory dock

    The mice run up the clock

The clock struck one,

    Castrated the other *ucker.    

Bri