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12345 once I cought a fish alive


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Posted

Mary had a little lamb,

her Daddy shot it dead

Now Mary takes her lamb to school

between two bits of bread

:sheep:  :sheep:

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  • Major Stare

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Posted
bl****ell & Kinell fell down't well

bl****ell cried kinell!

And Kinell cried bl****ell!

And they both lived happily ever after in Kinell  :p Kinell

Kinell!  I reckon I know what bl****ell would have to say about that, but I can't find his 'kin password  :down:

Posted

An old classic - anyone remember anymore...

There was an old woman of 92 parlez vous.

There was an old woman of 92 parlez vous.

There was an old woman of 92,

Lifted her leg and a fart came through,

Inky pinky parlez vous.

The fart went rolling down the street parlez vous.

The fart went rolling down the street parlez vous.

The fart went rolling down the street,

Knocked three coppers of their feet,

Inky pinky parlez vous.

The copper got out his trusty pistol parlez vous.

The copper got out his trusty pistol parlez vous.

The copper got out his trusty pistol,

Blew the fart from here to Bristol,

Inky pinky parlez vous.

Bristol Rovers playing at home parlez vous.

Bristol Rovers playing at home parlez vous.

Bristol Rovers playing at home,

Kicked the fart from here to Rome,

Inky pinky parlez vous.

Julius Caeser drinking gin parlez vous.

Julius Caeser drinking gin parlez vous.

Julius ceaser drinking gin,

Opened his gob and the fart went in,

Inky pinky parlez vous.

The fart went rolling down his spine parlez vous.

The fart went rolling down his spine parlez vous.

The fart went rolling down his spine,

Knocked his b*****k** out of line,

Inky pinky parlez vous.

(* the word 'b*****k*' has to be screamed at least 4 times louder)

The fart went shooting off to Mars parlez vous.

The fart went shooting off to Mars parlez vous.

The fart went shooting off to Mars,

Knocked the Martian on his A***,

Inky pinky parlez vous.

The fart went shooting off to Venus parlez vous.

The fart went shooting off to Venus parlez vous.

The fart went shooting off to Venus,

Knocked the Martian on his penis (obviously!;)

Inky pinky parlez vous.

There must be more........ :D  :D

Posted
Kinell wot's going on 'ere then.  I thought the famous shepherd's saying was:

red sky at night, shepherd's delight.

Sheep drowned in morning, global warming  ???

I prefer Ivor Cutler's version ....

"If you move your bowels at night, a shepherd will have a red face in the morning"

Emma

Posted
An old classic - anyone remember anymore...

There was an old woman of 92 parlez vous.

There was an old woman of 92 parlez vous.

There was an old woman of 92,

Lifted her leg and a fart came through,

Inky pinky parlez vous.

etc etc ....

I learned THAT one in the GUIDES!!!!!

:D

Emma (not Howard, no he wasn't in the Guides)

Posted

Little Miss Muffett

sat on her tuffett

eating her curds and whey

It wasn't a spider

that sat down beside her

It was Little Boy Blue

with his horn !!!

And the Judge Dread quote Award goes to Gavin  :D  :D  :D  :devil:  :devil:  :devil:  :D  :D

Posted

Mary was a dirty b***h

Her pubes were black as charcoal

So all the boys went round the back

And took her up ...

Posted

Mary had a litlle lamb,

'Till she killed it in her Westy

She scraped it of her nose cone grill

But still it was quite tasty!

I'll get my coat....and a taxi..... :p

Posted

Who sang this then  ???

Bronco Lane ad a pain

So they sent for Waggon Train

Waggon Train wos no good

So they sent for a Robin Hood

Robin Hood lost his bow

So they sent for Ivanhoe

Ivanhoe killed a man

So they sent for big Catering van

Big Catering van wos like a barge

So they sent for I'm in charge  :down:

Or somat like that  ???

Posted
Kinell!  I reckon I know what bl****ell would have to say about that, but I can't find his 'kin password  :down:

neither can i...

Posted
That'll teach yer to change it to something stupid that neither of us can remember  :arse:
Posted
1 down 5 to go  :D  :D  :D
Posted

humpty dumpty sat on the wall

humpty dumpty had a great fall

all the kings horses and all the kings men

had egg butties

:) at least it's clean  :t-up:

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