rossi Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 1. When a ship sinks, women (and children) get off first. 2. A woman can hug her best friend without worrying she'll think she's gay. 3. Women can talk to attractive members of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. 4. A woman can never be blamed if it's wet on the floor around the toilet bowl. 5. If a woman cheats on her spouse everyone will assume it's because she was being emotionally neglected. 6. Women are capable of doing at least two different things to a passable standard at the same time. 7. Women live longer than men. 8. Women know how to cover up spots and other facial blemishes. 9. If a woman inexplicably disappears for two weeks, one of her friends will notice. 10. Women mature earlier than men (some men never mature at all). 11. There are times when chocolate is really the answer to all woman's problems. 12. Women don't feel uncomfortable with gay waiters or hairdressers. 13. A woman can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. 14. Women know the truth about whether size matters... 15. A woman can take a drive without trying to beat her best time. 16. If a woman forgets to shave, no-one has to know. 17. Women are capable of going longer than five minutes without thinking about either sex or football. 18. Women never lust after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game. 19. Women can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 20. Women can cry and get off a speeding ticket. 21. A woman can get a whole new lease on life just by changing her lipstick. 22. A woman can congratulate her team-mate without ever touching her rear. 23. Women don't have to worry about catching anything important in their zipper. 24. If a woman says something stupid, most men will just think she's cute. 25. Women can admit to others when they've made a mistake 26. If a woman cries, she's sensitive; if a man cries, he's a wimp. 27. Women know who their children are without having a DNA test. 28. It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mummy's boy. 29. Women can wear platforms - which is why there is no such thing as a short woman's complex. 30. Women can watch one TV channel at a time without getting bored. 31. Women have total control over their eyebrows. 32. Women can get drunk quicker and cheaper than men. 33. A woman's friend won't try to persuade her to get a tattoo while she's drunk. 34. A woman won't drive to Hell and back before she asks for directions. 35. Women aren't covered with hair like ******* carpeting. 36. Woman don't feel threatened if their partner earns more than they do. 37. For women, a new season means a whole new wardrobe. 38. Women know exactly what buttons to push to get exactly what they want. 40. Women can keep pot plants alive for more than a week Quote
higgsti Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 some good points ther rossi but not all a correct but dont think im man enough to open the can . Quote
pistonbroke Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 women have smaller feet .......... so they can get closer to the stove Quote
higgsti Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 a womans muscular structure is made for long periods of manual menial tasks Quote
Blatman Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 1. Perhaps you should stay and help... 2. Everyone else will think you're gay though... 3. This is a good thing? 4. You don't bathe? Ew... 5. Sounds like you deserved it... 6. Driving and make up? 7. Live fast, die young, leave an attractive corpse. 8. Men don't go out with spotty birds. 9. Men go on holiday *with* their friends. 10. And that's a good thing because? 11. Except how big her bum looks in that... 12. Who cares if the waiter or barber is gay, as long as they bring the food when it's hot, and don't cut an ear off... 13. Never judge a book by it's patent leather Jimmy Choos 14. Big tits are best 15. That's 'cos she's always stopping to ask directions. Like Tescos has moved since last week... 16. Pubes on the seat are a dead give away. 17. But what about hair and make up? Or looking at yourself in *every* reflective surface you see... 18. Bruce Wayne and Peter Parker are not real men... 19. The end result is the same... 20. Drive faster and you will get respect for good car control, and get off the ticket 'cos you clearly know what you're doing. 21. Yep, women are that shallow... 22. Beach volleyball. 'Nuff said... 23. Most women don't know what to do with said item anyway. 24. Thats what we want you to think, dumbarse... 25. Otherwise people would think you were just dumb. 26. If a woman cries, she wants something she really doesn't deserve. 27. Even we wouldn't be fooled, unless the mother is in on it... 28. There's nothing worse than daddy's little princess... 29. If you didn't have height issues, you wouldn't wear platforms... 30. Women are easily pleased... 31. Put the tweezers down then... 32. They just don't want to drive home... 33. Yeah, getting pregnant is a much better idea... 34. If shopping is that much bother, stay home... 35. They would be if they forgot to shave... 36. Doesn't stop them trying to spend it faster than he earns it... 37. Man Utd bring out at leat two new home *and* away strips every season... 38. As long as they don't forget the pin number. 39. Women can't count... 40. And what on Gods green earth is useful about that? Men 1, Women 0. Quote
Boomy Posted September 11, 2005 Posted September 11, 2005 No woman has been to the moon....... Because it doesn't need cleaning yet Quote
Mrs Westy Posted September 11, 2005 Posted September 11, 2005 6. Driving and make up? So you admit that women can drive to a passable* standard then *given the context of the original statement, passable clearly means acceptable, rather than a a standard to pass a test Quote
barney Posted September 11, 2005 Posted September 11, 2005 Blatters,i think we need some water for this reel, its Smoking.... **crawling back under my rock with hardhat on** Quote
Mrs Westy Posted September 11, 2005 Posted September 11, 2005 Barney, please note that I haven't written Sunday's commentary yet... Quote
rob iles Posted September 11, 2005 Posted September 11, 2005 Rossi 6. Women are capable of doing at least two different things to a passable standard at the same time. Men can multi task just as good as you women Only this morning i was ******* (making love )to the wife and at the same time i was thinking of Kylie, Kat Deeley ,Joss stone Jessica Simpson (in hot pants,then out) hows that for multi tasking Quote
Matt Seabrook Posted September 11, 2005 Posted September 11, 2005 Rossi 6. Women are capable of doing at least two different things to a passable standard at the same time. Men can multi task just as good as you women Only this morning i was ******* (making love )to the wife and at the same time i was thinking of Kylie, Kat Deeley ,Joss stone Jessica Simpson (in hot pants,then out) hows that for multi tasking OMG I hope your wife does not get to see this. Quote
Martin Keene Posted September 11, 2005 Posted September 11, 2005 39. Women can't count... Like it... Quote
rob iles Posted September 11, 2005 Posted September 11, 2005 It's O.K Matt she was asleep at the time and she can't use tinternet Quote
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