Buzz Billsberry Posted November 2, 2003 Share Posted November 2, 2003 Another scandal is set to rock football. Pop star Sophie Ellis Bextor's dead body has been found in a French international footballer's hotel room ... ... ... ... The police are treating it as murder on Zidane's floor Jeeeeeeeesus Mrs Westy funny tho Buzz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Westfields Rock On Posted November 2, 2003 Share Posted November 2, 2003 2 nuns in a car when a vampire jumps onto the bonnet the nun driving shouts "quick sister mary, show himyour cross" sister mary leans out the car and shouts "f**k off you ******' nunney!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S8ight Posted November 2, 2003 Share Posted November 2, 2003 ok then someone else came out with a queer joke..... the queer cowboy......... rode into town and shot up the sheriff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fat Albert Posted November 2, 2003 Share Posted November 2, 2003 What were the two queers doing standing on the end of Brighton pier back to back? Putting the wind up each other Irish Health Minister announces financial support for basic research into contraceptive 'morning after' pills for men Then there was the Jewish Kamikaze pilot who crashed his plane in his brothers scrapyard What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the sea? Bob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S8ight Posted November 2, 2003 Share Posted November 2, 2003 or the two queer judges..... they tried each other Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cast iron Posted November 2, 2003 Share Posted November 2, 2003 Two Brummies Whats the difference between a buffalo and a bisson . Dunno . . . . . . . . . . . .You can't wash your hands in a buffalo A man takes his crosseyed Rotweiler to the vet, The vet takes hold of him, checks his teeth then looks at his eyes. The Vet pronounces that he will have to put the dog down. The owner exclaims " why because he is cross eyed?" "No" replies the vet . . . . . . . . . . "He's bl**** heavy" Next bus please Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fat Albert Posted November 2, 2003 Share Posted November 2, 2003 The White House briefing team forgot to tell G Dubbya that the only land war the US has ever won was the Civil War But then he probably wouldn't have got it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
westyfield Posted November 2, 2003 Share Posted November 2, 2003 ...a lovely little fairy wandering down the garden came across a gnome sat cross legged on a toadstool with his head down in his hands.. "ooh" she says.. "are you a goblin?" "NO" he says.. "I've just got a headache!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Ashcroft Posted November 3, 2003 Share Posted November 3, 2003 Bartender: "What'll you have?" Customer:"A scotch, please." The bartender hands him the drink, and says, "That'll be five dollars." The drinker says, "What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this." A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then offers, "You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration." The bartender was not impressed, but says to the smiling drinker, "Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don't ever let me catch you in here again." The next day, the same customer walks into the bar. "What the heck are you doing in here?" asks the bartender. "I can't believe you've got the audacity to come back!" "What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my life!" says the man. "I bet," says the bartender. "You must have a double then." "Thank you. Make it a scotch," says the customer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noel Johnson Posted November 5, 2003 Share Posted November 5, 2003 Noel flexes his knuckles and prepares for the awaiting assualt: A man goes into a doctors with a streering wheel down his trousers, The doctor says "what's wrong?" and the chap replies: I don't know but it's driving me nuts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
conibear Posted November 5, 2003 Share Posted November 5, 2003 I've heard on the grapevine, Osama Bin Laden is living up in the Welsh Mountains ****** sheep. But the coalition and local authorities cannot legally get him co's; their islams. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cast iron Posted November 5, 2003 Share Posted November 5, 2003 An Englishman Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Whats this, a bl**** joke!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noel Johnson Posted November 6, 2003 Share Posted November 6, 2003 and then there was the one about a woman who had sex with a pole and gave birth to a wooden baby! Exit stage left followed by a large mob.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoop Posted November 7, 2003 Share Posted November 7, 2003 A man starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss he beats it to death with a spade. Realising his employer won't be best pleased he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything. Moving on to the second job of clearing out the Chimp house, he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the lions, he says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure. He moves on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws them into the lions cage because lions eat anything. Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another lion and says "What's the food like here?" The lions say: "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish and Chimps with Mushy Bees." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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