Wots yer favourite ruler

[mad lon]

12" wooden,6" perspex,queen Victoria or Wotsis the Hun for instance....Rules,rules,b*****k to the rules....who said that?

Rule No 1...There are no rules.....who said that?  

[Mark Stanton]

a scale ruler              

[conibear]

Rules,rules,b*****k to the rules....who said that?

Rule No 1...There are no rules.....who said that?  

you did

[mad lon]

Rules,rules,b*****k to the rules....who said that?

Rule No 1...There are no rules.....who said that?  

you did

bl****ell  

[Gromit]

"Dont pi55 on an electric fence"

Always worked for me.

[pistonbroke]

oldman I just realised you got your name spelled rong  

[mad lon]

"Dont pi55 on an electric fence"

Always worked for me.

Once knew a chap who did that...cured his impotence in a split second

[oioi]

thou shalt not commit adulthood

(who sang that?)

[mad lon]

oldman I just realised you got your name spelled rong  

Wot took yer Broke n' p********  

[mad lon]

thou shalt not commit adulthood

(who sang that?)

Wos it Manfred Man

[Buzz Billsberry]

Don't eat yellow snow

[CrashBangWallop]

I follow these rules at work.  The ten rules of cartoon animation: -

Cartoon Law I

=============

Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its

situation.

Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland.  He loiters in

midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he glances to look down.  At this

point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second per second takes over.

Cartoon Law II

==============

Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter

intervenes suddenly.

Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon characters are

so absolute in their momentum that only a telephone pole or an outsize

boulder retards their forward motion absolutely.  Sir Isaac Newton called

this sudden termination of motion the stooge's surcease.

Cartoon Law III

===============

Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to

its perimeter.

Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the specialty of

victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so

eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving

a cookie-cutout-perfect hole.  The threat of skunks or matrimony often

catalyzes this reaction.

Cartoon Law IV

==============

The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or

equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral

down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken.

Such an object is inevitably priceless, the attempt to capture it inevitably

unsuccessful.

Cartoon Law V

=============

All principles of gravity are negated by fear.

Psychic forces are sufficient in most bodies for a shock to propel them

directly away from the earth's surface.  A spooky noise or an adversary's

signature sound will induce motion upward, usually to the cradle of a

chandelier, a treetop, or the crest of a flagpole.  The feet of a character

who is running or the wheels of a speeding auto need never touch the ground,

especially when in flight.

Cartoon Law VI

==============

As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once.

This is particularly true of tooth-and-claw fights, in which a character's

head may be glimpsed emerging from the cloud of altercation at several

places simultaneously.  This effect is common as well among bodies that are

spinning or being throttled.  A `wacky' character has the option of

self-replication only at manic high speeds and may ricochet off walls to

achieve the velocity required.

Cartoon Law VII

===============

Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel

entrances; others cannot.

This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is

known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to trick an

opponent will be unable to pursue him into this theoretical space.  The

painter is flattened against the wall when he attempts to follow into the

painting.  This is ultimately a problem of art, not of science.

Cartoon Law VIII

================

Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent.

Cartoon cats possess even more deaths than the traditional nine lives might

comfortably afford.  They can be decimated, spliced, splayed,

accordion-pleated, spindled, or disassembled, but they cannot be destroyed.

After a few moments of blinking self pity, they reinflate, elongate, snap

back, or solidify.

Corollary:  A cat will assume the shape of its container.

Cartoon Law IX

==============

Everything falls faster than an anvil.

Cartoon Law X

=============

For every vengeance there is an equal and opposite revengeance.

This is the one law of animated cartoon motion that also applies to the

physical world at large.  For that reason, we need the relief of watching it

happen to a duck instead.