neilb Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 Just don't tell I had anything to do with it! The Good Wife Guide This is an actual extract from a Home Economics textbook printed in the early 60's. Absolutely genuine and utterly unbelievable...... Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return from work. This is away of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up school books, toys, papers etc. and then run a dust cloth over the tables. During the colder months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first, remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax. Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Don't greet him with complaints and problems. Don’t complain if he's late home for dinner, or even stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange the pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. Once he has had a chance to have his evening meal clear the dishes and wash up promptly. If your husband should offer to help decline his offer as he may feel obliged to repeat this offer and after a long working day he does not need the extra work. Encourage your husband to pursue his hobbies and interests and be supportive without seeming to encroach. If you have any little hobbies yourself try not to bore him speaking of these, as women's interests are often rather trivial compared to men's. At the end of the evening tidy the home ready for the morning and again think ahead to his breakfast needs. Your husband's breakfast is vital if he is to face the outside world in a positive fashion. Once you have both retired to the bedroom prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night. When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things be led by your husband's wishes, do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress then accede humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's. When he reaches his moment of fulfilment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had. Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing freshen up and apply your night time face and hair care products. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Hurdsfield - Joint Manchester AO Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 Wadya mean how it used to be, Its still like that in my house, and I've got my wifes permission to say so Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 Jesus I wish as I walk through the door its "Dinner needs making the rubish needs puting out and your daughters nappy needs changing." Oh joy!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Man On The Clapham Omnibus Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 How on earth did we lose our grip? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pistonbroke2 Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 Pays to shop around. I got a cracking used model I owner fully trained complete with furnishings etc.(Honest) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pistonbroke Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 I blame BINGO that's where the revolution began. That and the bl**** Avengers ! bl**** Dianna Rigg with them boots (designed for stompin on gounads ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StuartMackay Posted October 21, 2004 Share Posted October 21, 2004 Givin em the vote is where it all started!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liam Posted October 22, 2004 Share Posted October 22, 2004 See, I was right all the time dear %&^$£*(*&&^%$£%^&% Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neilwillis Posted October 22, 2004 Share Posted October 22, 2004 Should I show the missus this? Probably not, or she'll expect that treatment every time she gets in from work!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 22, 2004 Share Posted October 22, 2004 When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. Seem to remember the small angry one agreeing to obey - about 21 years ago - and she seems to have forgotten. I shall print this wonderful piece of advice and take it home this evening - safe in the knowledge that the hospital is only 15 minutes away by helicopter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neilb Posted October 22, 2004 Author Share Posted October 22, 2004 Blame the Germans - If it had not been for 2 world wars taking all the men and having women used to do the jobs that they were doing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Hurdsfield - Joint Manchester AO Posted October 22, 2004 Share Posted October 22, 2004 Yeah lets blame the Germans I hate scumbag Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neilwillis Posted October 22, 2004 Share Posted October 22, 2004 My wife's German lol Is that what you call catch 22? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taffy Posted October 22, 2004 Share Posted October 22, 2004 My wife's German lol Oops! Rob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Seabrook Posted October 22, 2004 Share Posted October 22, 2004 I could not possibly condone that sort of behaviour my girlfriend may be reading this. Hello dear Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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