adhawkins Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 I've never done anything stupid and dangerous Well not under the influence of Stella that is. I've never drunk it! Cider...vodka...wine on the other hand... Andy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the bear Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 Well I am not normally given to acts of dangerous stupidity but...... This week, yes this week, this story is both real and recent I was couped up decorating our bathroom. I finished yesterday at about 7.00 pm. By way of celebration I decided to take a bottle of 'Stella' with my meal. One thing always leads to another, and the second bottle shortly followed, then another and another before I knew it I had had six or seven in the space of an hour. I had decamped to the sofa and it was here that it happened. I only went and watched the football. How's that for being stupid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nlash Posted June 25, 2004 Author Share Posted June 25, 2004 I only went and watched the football. How's that for being stupid. Err this is quite serious... Might I suggest seeing a qualified shrink or visiting your local 'mind' branch. The local AA branch may be able to assist but I feel its even beyond their scope Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neilwillis Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 I only went and watched the football. How's that for being stupid. My god man, pull yourself together! We said stupid and dangerous, not sleazy and shameful! This site might be seen by children, and admissions of that sort would be better remaining a dark sordid secret. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markcoopers Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 1) Doug a fishpond/muddy puddle in the middle of the lawn surrounded by pickaxe and spade. 2) Woke up to find all the golf flags from Romsay golf club in the lounge. 3) Got the wife pregnant. 4) Woke up to find I'd scalded me nipples and me underpants were burnt, .....Haven’t a clue how but it must have been dangerous. 5) Arrested while dressed as a Dalmatian dog complete with replica AK47, took some explaining. 6)Put half a chicken kebab in me jeans pocket, to keep it out of the rain, wife fond it a week later while doing the laundry. That was painful, cost me a new kitchen if remember correctly. Still non beet a mate of mine who fell through the ceiling while in a canoe, breaking the bath, canoe and one of his legs...Tw*t. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neilwillis Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 3) Got the wife pregnant. Not quite enough stellas that time then Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buzz Billsberry Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 1) Doug a fishpond/muddy puddle in the middle of the lawn surrounded by pickaxe and spade. 2) Woke up to find all the golf flags from Romsay golf club in the lounge. 3) Got the wife pregnant. 4) Woke up to find I'd scalded me nipples and me underpants were burnt, .....Haven’t a clue how but it must have been dangerous. 5) Arrested while dressed as a Dalmatian dog complete with replica AK47, took some explaining. 6)Put half a chicken kebab in me jeans pocket, to keep it out of the rain, wife fond it a week later while doing the laundry. That was painful, cost me a new kitchen if remember correctly. Still non beet a mate of mine who fell through the ceiling while in a canoe, breaking the bath, canoe and one of his legs...Tw*t. Mark I see u do drink stella for sure! Point 5 LOL Buzz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neilwillis Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 Wassup Buzz, nothing to say about your own activities here? Or is it a case of EAW EAW EAWays behaves? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buzz Billsberry Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 It was a cold bitter night in Noverber 2001. I was full of Stella after a rather top-hole bash at the WSCC Presentation Night at Bromsgrove Golf Club. After waiting for nearly half an hour for a taxi I decide to head for my hotel in Bromsgrove town centre which was a little way down the A38, but little did I know what was about to unfold in the wee small hours….. Deciding to take a short cut I negotiated a 4ft fence managing to land face down in a small field. I rose to my feet and started heading to the other side.Then, I heard a noise as if someone were following me. I stopped. Nothing. It must be the Stella giving me beer headphones “. I continued. The noise was there again. I started to panic and decide. ‘Right, if some wants a rumble lets do it’ After all I had my impregnable Stella force field jacket on... I stopped, swung round and fell on my A*** and shout oh f*%k! And then thought ‘what the hell’s that?’ As the silhouette of two large ears appeared out of the night sky I realised that I wasn’t about to be mugged, but liked to death by a donkey. Once it occurred to me that I’d not shat myself (result!.). I climbed to my feet and asked the donkey “What time it was?” “Had he seen Jesus lately and how was he?.. Then Ping ! I have a plan!!. After a bit of Idle chit-chat the donkey it lead me to the other side of the field . I thought sod it we’re old mates now (a Stella Moment coming) I’ll see if I can get on it?. The donkey was game I just could stop on the thing. After a few nose dives I managed to get to grips with the handling of this formidable 4ft beast.. Anyway , me and donkey were cruising down the A38 towards the traffic lights to turn right in Bromsgrove town centre As I negotiated the traffic and go into the right filter lane, I was waiting at the lights to turn right . I heard this Hugh screech of tyres. I looked to my right and notice a panda car had come to a complete halt. The PC in the driver's seat was saying “What the… you can’t… just stop there now! Don’t move…” but the lights had changed to green so I decided to make my getaway. I swung donkey into the right hander and opened her up, well we were flying by this time. Only to be passed by plod on foot( he was shout something like “stop, where the hell did u get this from STOP!”) he managed to get in front of donkey and tried to curtail our progress. Not a chance, I tugged on donkeys main, wow!! The acceleration (it felt like a cross flow!! Now the unfortunate thing is, donkeys must have an ejection seat ‘cause the next think I remember I was flying thro’ the air and it seemed I was attached to plod’s arm. I landed with a thump. I was caught. It was all a bit hazy for a while until they hand cuffed me. But as I sat up donkey was away followed by two coppers on foot shouting “Here boy, here” That was the last I saw of donkey. Funny, we’d become quiet close during our adventure. At this point I had this overwhelming desire to share the contents of that evenings drinks with the constables how where giving a bit of a doing over in the back of the Police van. But, managed to keep the lid on it. Anyway, I landed at the sargents desk. The sargent said “what’s this one done?”. “ Riding a donkey down Bromsgrove Road Sarg” He was doing what?. ”Riding a Donkey sarg” “Down the A38”. “Was he now” replied the sargent “So where did you get this donkey from?” “Can’t remember sir?” Near the Golf Club I think” I said. “ Oh Jeeess”.“ What in gods name made you want to ride a donkey into Bromsgrove.” The Sarg asked. I replied “Have you ever tried getting a taxi at 02:30 In Bromsgrove, they’re f*%king useless” 1/2 an hour I waited and” “ Right lock this A******e up we’ll deal with him later” said the Sarg. I was awoken at 060 by a copper saying “ Oh you must be John Wayne then!”. "Come on the Desk Sargent wants a word". A word, jeeeesus I got such a bollocking a 10 minute one at that.It hurt my head especially after all that Stella….Anyway I was very fortunate that I didn’t get any charges brought against me. The coppers were sound (apart from giving me a hiding in the back of the van) and had a good laugh about it with them. They throw me out about 06:45 As I was walking down the corridor I heard “Oy…. Tex, I don’t want to see you in my town again…. or we’ll hang you! And loud laugh broke out from back of the station. Followed by that song "whip cracker way whip cracker way…" I just strolled off into the sunset…wondering whatever happened to donkey?? Buzz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adhawkins Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 Please tell me that's not a true story... Andy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neilwillis Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 Andy, I hate to break this to you, but it's all true! Probably distorted a bit because he was wearing stella glasses at the time, but yes, there are donkey rustlers living in Yorkshire even now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blatman Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 You had to be there.......... Buzz got carrots in the post for years after...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adhawkins Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 Andy (that's me being speechless by the way...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welsh wizard Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 Andy, you must've done something silly having drunk too much? Actually, if I'm to believe you, you didn't used to drink before you met me. So I should know of all the silly things you've done. Luned Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adhawkins Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 There you go then...can you think of any? (proposing doesn't count ) Andy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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