those bloody england flags

[7SE]

There is a move to replace St George as patron saint for England with St Alban.  So we could have blue flags with a gold cross flapping on cars annoying you all.

The feast of St Alban is tomorrow, by the way.

Does it involve turnips?  

[oldman]

KINELL.....Here we go again,here we go again  

[bhouse]

DEPT OF TRANSPORT INITIATIVE RE-LAUNCH SAFETY INITIATIVE, MAY 2006.

Information Release.

Due to the declining quality of driving in England the Department of Transport has devised a new scheme in order to identify poor drivers and give good drivers the opportunity to recognise them whilst driving.

From the middle of May 2006, drivers who are found to be driving badly will be required to hold and display a Traffic Warning Advisory Ticket (T. W. A. T.).

Typical examples of bad driving which qualifies for a T. W. A. T. include:

-overtaking in dangerous places;

-driving within one inch of the car in front;

-stopping sharply;

-speeding in residential areas;

-pulling out without indication;

-performing U turns inappropriately in busy high streets;

-under taking on motorways and

-taking up more than one lane in multi lane roads,

The T. W. A. T. will take the form of a flag (white with a red cross) clearly signifying their inability to drive properly. These flags must be clipped to a door of the car and be visible to all other drivers and pedestrians.

Those drivers who have shown particularly poor driving skills will have to display a flag on each side of the car to indicate their greater lack of skill and general lower intelligence mindset to the general public.

Please circulate this to as many other motorists as you can so that drivers and pedestrians will be aware of the meaning of these flags.

Department of Transport.

[Boomy]

Read a letter in the Driving section of The Sunday Times, it went along the lines of; How much extra fuel and hence money is it costing the country dragging all these flags around. Interesting point.

It's not really that interesting though is it?.

Was it suggested by the same type of people who claim things like "..and if you stitch all the flags together, you would need a rotary line 760 feet tall and 0.8  miles across to get them dry.It would also require 180,375 pegs and need foundations of approx 300 feet.

[pistonbroke]

Say's it all really

clicky

[rm163603]

You can add me to the list of football haters....

Football is for chavs IMHO

[Rory's Dad]

Last time this all kicked off, my local, instead of advertising their current list of guest beers, had a sign that read "No TV, no football, no music, no games machines, no C@rlsberg".  It was packed for the duration

Rory's Dad

[oioi]

Rejoice! Thanks to the national obsession with football, the cross of St George has finally been reclaimed from the racists. Nowadays, when you see an England flag on a car, sprawled across a T-shirt, or flapping from a novelty hat, you no longer assume the owner is a dot-brained xenophobe. Instead you assume he's just an idiot. And you're right. He is.

It's a great piece of visual shorthand. Imagine the outcry if government passed a law requiring the nation's dimbos to wear dunce's caps in public. No one would stand for it. There'd be acres of newsprint comparing Blair and co to the Nazis. We'd see rioting in the streets - badly organised rioting with a lot of mis-spelled placards, but rioting nonetheless.

Instead, every numbskull in the land is queuing up to voluntarily brand themselves. They even pay for the privilege! As brilliant ruses go, it's the most brilliant, rusiest ruse you could wish for. I can't wait for stage two, when they're persuaded to neuter themselves with safety scissors.

The only problem I have with this b***-demarcation scheme is the design of the flag itself. Personally, I'd jettison the big red cross/white background malarky in favour of a black rectangle with the word CRETIN printed in the centre in stark bold text.

Traditional flags are hopeless. A few weeks ago, I took part in a pub quiz. In round three you had to match countries to their national flags. It was impossible. With a few notable exceptions, most flags are more or less identical. A different colour here, a thicker line there, but on the whole they all just look like . . . well, like flags.

Perhaps I'm wrong, but I always thought that the whole point of flags is to make it easy to tell which country you're dealing with. Instead, thanks to a rash of uninspired design choices, they do the precise opposite. Flags have become a tedious puzzle; a ******'s clue. What next? Replace the names of countries themselves with anagrams? What is this, the Da Vinci Code? The system's in chaos.

Who decides what can and can't go on a flag anyway? Is there a worldwide flag council overseeing this stuff? Presumably drawings are permitted - the Welsh flag's got the right idea with that lovely dragon - but what about photographs? If, say, the Dutch decided to replace their boring tricolour with some hardcore pornography, would they still be allowed to hang it outside the UN?

Or what about sarcastic flags? If I was prime minister of Iraq - which I'm not - I'd commission a parody of the Stars and Stripes and insist on using that. Replace the stripes with missile trails and the stars with skulls. And a little cartoon of George Bush pooing into a bucket or something. It wouldn't cost much and it would make literally everyone in the world laugh out loud. And perhaps all that laughter would bring us all together as one, and we'd spend the rest of the century hugging each other and tumbling around in a great big bed. Or perhaps not.

Anyway, in summary: those protesters who burn flags outside embassies have got the right idea - but they shouldn't be burning them because they disagree with something the country in question has done. They should be burning flags just because they're flags. And flags are rubbish.

[pistonbroke2]

Thats some Rant Oi.Old Chap.

[oioi]

Thats some Rant Oi.Old Chap.

thank you

[samcooke]

Mmmmmm. Lots of blue words.      

[oldman]

Kinell just put some flags down for me garden path...all the same,eavy & dark grey  

[XTR2Turbo]

I think it's about time people showed some pride in bieng English. .

Is it just me or is there something strangely perverse about driving around in a 3 series bmw, merc, etc etc and yet flying one of these flags.

David

[oldman]

Rejoice! Thanks to the national obsession with football, the cross of St George has finally been reclaimed from the racists. Nowadays, when you see an England flag on a car, sprawled across a T-shirt, or flapping from a novelty hat, you no longer assume the owner is a dot-brained xenophobe. Instead you assume he's just an idiot. And you're right. He is.

It's a great piece of visual shorthand. Imagine the outcry if government passed a law requiring the nation's dimbos to wear dunce's caps in public. No one would stand for it. There'd be acres of newsprint comparing Blair and co to the Nazis. We'd see rioting in the streets - badly organised rioting with a lot of mis-spelled placards, but rioting nonetheless.

Instead, every numbskull in the land is queuing up to voluntarily brand themselves. They even pay for the privilege! As brilliant ruses go, it's the most brilliant, rusiest ruse you could wish for. I can't wait for stage two, when they're persuaded to neuter themselves with safety scissors.

The only problem I have with this b***-demarcation scheme is the design of the flag itself. Personally, I'd jettison the big red cross/white background malarky in favour of a black rectangle with the word CRETIN printed in the centre in stark bold text.

Traditional flags are hopeless. A few weeks ago, I took part in a pub quiz. In round three you had to match countries to their national flags. It was impossible. With a few notable exceptions, most flags are more or less identical. A different colour here, a thicker line there, but on the whole they all just look like . . . well, like flags.

Perhaps I'm wrong, but I always thought that the whole point of flags is to make it easy to tell which country you're dealing with. Instead, thanks to a rash of uninspired design choices, they do the precise opposite. Flags have become a tedious puzzle; a ******'s clue. What next? Replace the names of countries themselves with anagrams? What is this, the Da Vinci Code? The system's in chaos.

Who decides what can and can't go on a flag anyway? Is there a worldwide flag council overseeing this stuff? Presumably drawings are permitted - the Welsh flag's got the right idea with that lovely dragon - but what about photographs? If, say, the Dutch decided to replace their boring tricolour with some hardcore pornography, would they still be allowed to hang it outside the UN?

Or what about sarcastic flags? If I was prime minister of Iraq - which I'm not - I'd commission a parody of the Stars and Stripes and insist on using that. Replace the stripes with missile trails and the stars with skulls. And a little cartoon of George Bush pooing into a bucket or something. It wouldn't cost much and it would make literally everyone in the world laugh out loud. And perhaps all that laughter would bring us all together as one, and we'd spend the rest of the century hugging each other and tumbling around in a great big bed. Or perhaps not.

Anyway, in summary: those protesters who burn flags outside embassies have got the right idea - but they shouldn't be burning them because they disagree with something the country in question has done. They should be burning flags just because they're flags. And flags are rubbish.

Oioi.Did you make that lot up yerself..if so yer should be looking for a job as a journalist  

[oioi]

Oioi.Did you make that lot up yerself..if so yer should be looking for a job as a journalist