Fat Albert Posted May 16, 2003 Share Posted May 16, 2003 A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings." The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings." The bear goes to the end of the bar, and as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs." The bear says, "I'm not on drugs." The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barb***hyouate." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stu999 Posted May 16, 2003 Share Posted May 16, 2003 GGrrooooannnnnn...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neilwillis Posted May 16, 2003 Share Posted May 16, 2003 Don't give up the day job Albert Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fat Albert Posted May 16, 2003 Author Share Posted May 16, 2003 This one's just for Neil Oh and Blatters Recently, a police patrol parked outside a local neighborhood tavern. Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity (trying his keys on five vehicles) the man managed to find his car and FELL in. He was sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (NOT raining), flicked the turn signals on and off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes (as more patrons left in their vehicles). At last, he pulled out of the lot and started to drive slowly down the road. The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights promptly pulled the man over. He administered the Breathalyzer test, but to his amazement there was no evidence of the man having consumed alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police station. This Breathalyzer equipment must be broken." "I doubt it," said the man, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blatman Posted May 16, 2003 Share Posted May 16, 2003 Yeah. I invented that. You have to staty one step ahead in London, my friend........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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