Buzz Billsberry Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table---whole!" "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "He eats everything in sight, the little b*stard. Sorry. I'll pay for the cueball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his ass, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks. "No, what?" replies the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his ass, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me", replied the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to s**t out that cue ball, he measures everything first." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Elworthy Posted March 11, 2004 Share Posted March 11, 2004 A*** contractions!......ouch! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin Keene Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 classic... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
david.c Posted March 15, 2004 Share Posted March 15, 2004 Absolutely superb David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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