Woops forgot the button

[Barry Ashcroft]

YOU'LL LOVE THIS!!!!!

    A jumbo jet is just coming into the airport on its final approach.

    The pilot

    comes on the intercom, "This is your captain.  we're on our final

    descent

    into Omaha.  I want to thank you for flying with us today and I hope

    you

    enjoy it here in Omaha."

    He forgets to switch off the intercom.  Now the whole plane can hear

    his

    conversation from the cockpit.

    The copilot says to the pilot, "Well, skipper, watcha gonna do in

    Omaha?"

    The skipper replies, "Well, first I'm gonna check into the hotel and

    take a

    big crap....then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge

    boobs out

    for dinner....then I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my

    room and

    put it to her big time all night."

    Everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up

    and down

    the aisles trying to get a look at the new stewardess.  Meanwhile the

    new

    stewardess is at the very back of the plane.  She's so embarrassed

    that she

    starts to run down the aisle to try and get to the cockpit to turn

    the

    intercom off.   Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's

    bag and

    down she goes.

    The old lady leans over and says: "No need to hurry, dear.  He's

    gotta

     take a s**t first."

[rob iles]

An old boys in hospital having a bed bath  ,

and the nurse asks him if he's ok ,

the man replies , Are my testicles black.  

The nurse ignores him,

So he asks again, Are my testicles black  

The nurse starts fondling his penis and rubbing his balls and after a few moments is finished.

The old man looks startled,but happy.

The nurse then takes the mans oxygen mask off,and asks him if he's ok again,

The old man replies, thanks for the wash love, now

Are my test results back.