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Your tales of “great story, wrong audience”


TAFKARM

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Probably not the wrong audience, probably worth telling.  I did have a career in explosives, I was in the Royal Engineers, we built things, we blew things up, many tales of bridges that fell into rivers, the CO's dog almost being blown up, and inappropriate things to do with PE-4 (Plastic Explosive)

 

During the big NATO exercises in Germany, our job was to add a bit of battle reality, setting off small charges in safe places, trees and trenches mainly. Problem was, after the exercise, when everyone else went home, we were left with days of work disposing of unused explosives. In theory, we would go to an artillery range and set up dozens of small charges spaced out in time, in reality, well, we wanted to go home too. 

 

One time we thought we would be clever and packed 80Kg of PE-4 into a near-intact battle tank on an artillery range, we went back a full 500 metres and set it off.  Not being able to resist a peek over the top, what we saw next...the turret of the tank,  5 tons or so of it, bouncing slowly towards us in the manner of a Barnes Wallace invention, shrapnel whizzing past our ears.  

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I work in I.T so just about every conversation I have when someone asks "can you fix my phone/tablet/laptop/PC/printer/router/wifi/internet. I can make them wish they never asked me in about a sentence and a half :devil: 

:getmecoat:

 

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Sunday morning I met some mates in the cars and it was very cold and frosty..... icy roads, no traction control, semi slick tyres, plus a driver with all the ambition of Max Verstappen but with fewer skills than Nikita Mazepin.... you can guess what happens next, a lovely half spin and tank slapper with the resulting brown trousers 😂. Luckily it was all at low speed and no damage was done apart from a bruised ego!

 

Sunday afternoon my lovely wife asked "how was your meet".... naively I decided to laughingly regale her with my near death experience, waxing lyrical about the whole incident.... I launched into the full bloke thing for 10 minutes, all arm gestures of full opposite lock, hands out front waving my A*** enthusiastically about to demonstrate the tank slapper etc...

 

Let just say the reception from SWMBO was icier than the road had spun on, she's still not talking to me 😂😂😂

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On 10/01/2022 at 20:24, Rush Motorsport said:

The MIL likes us to save all the cardboard boxes for her friend. She was over yesterday so i shouted through from the kitchen "Catherine, do you want a box?"

Then came in to the lounge with the dukes up. 

Oh how we laughed. 

The long dark winter's nights must fly by in Rush Motorsport Towers 😀

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11 hours ago, Blatman said:

I work in I.T so just about every conversation I have when someone asks "can you fix my phone/tablet/laptop/PC/printer/router/wifi/internet. I can make them wish they never asked me in about a sentence and a half :devil: 

:getmecoat:

 

Do share, I hope it doesn't involve "Have you tried switching it off and on again"?

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6 minutes ago, RobH72 said:

Sunday morning I met some mates in the cars and it was very cold and frosty..... icy roads, no traction control, semi slick tyres, plus a driver with all the ambition of Max Verstappen but with fewer skills than Nikita Mazepin.... you can guess what happens next, a lovely half spin and tank slapper with the resulting brown trousers 😂. Luckily it was all at low speed and no damage was done apart from a bruised ego!

 

Sunday afternoon my lovely wife asked "how was your meet".... naively I decided to laughingly regale her with my near death experience, waxing lyrical about the whole incident.... I launched into the full bloke thing for 10 minutes, all arm gestures of full opposite lock, hands out front waving my A*** enthusiastically about to demonstrate the tank slapper etc...

 

Let just say the reception from SWMBO was icier than the road had spun on, she's still not talking to me 😂😂😂

Please tell me it was videod? The spin, not the story telling to SWMBO.

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1 hour ago, Ian Kinder (Bagpuss) - Joint Peak District AO said:

Please tell me it was videod? The spin, not the story telling to SWMBO.

Fortunately not, my blushes were saved 😂

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5 minutes ago, RobH72 said:

Fortunately not, my blushes were saved 😂

We'll need to ask you to repeat then, we we're filming!

 

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14 hours ago, Ian Kinder (Bagpuss) - Joint Peak District AO said:

Do share, I hope it doesn't involve "Have you tried switching it off and on again"?

 

I always assume anyone mad enough to ask me to help has done that already. If not, they really shouldn't have anything technologial in their hands so no matter what I say they're likely to need subtitles :devil: 

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I thought I would talk to one of our academics about building my Westy. He had just been telling us about his new RS3 Audi, so I thought he would be interested. He just looked at me like I'd crawled out from under a rock and said 'why would anyone want to do that?'

Pretty odd point of view coming from an Engineering Department...

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