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Another Oldie


Diamond

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I couldn't resist putting this on SORRY....

A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit in the early

hours of Wednesday 23rd December 2003.

Epicentre: Basildon, Essex. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessl

muttering "fackin ell" and "whatta cant" The earthquake decimated the area

causing approximately £30.00 worth of damage. Several priceless collections

of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond

repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals

were woken well before their giro arrived.

Essex FM News (State Radio Station) reported that hundreds of residents were

confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that

something interesting had happened in Basildon.

One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was

such a shock, my little Chardonnay Mercedes came running into my bedroom

crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all.

I was still shaking when I was watching Kilroy the next morning."

Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime did carry on as normal.

The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny

Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still

searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal

belongings, which include benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at

Argos and Bone China from Poundland.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing, parcels for those

unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most

sought after,items most needed include: Fila or Burberry baseball caps Kappa

tracksuit tops (his and hers) Shell suits (female) White sport socks

Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in Primark. Food parcels may

be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs

include Microwave meals, tins of baked beans, ice cream and cans of Colt 45

or Special Brew. 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms,

£2.00 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9, £5.00

will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those

affected.

Please do not send tents for shelter, as the sight of posh housing is unfair

on the population or neighbouring areas of Vange, Pitsea and Laindon.

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A chap from Basildon(or boozledon) as he used to call it)was a great inspiration to me.His name was Ken Shales & he wrote a book called Brewing Better Beers in the late 60's I think.

bl**** good job I can now afford to pay someone else to brew it for me!(Think mine used to be RON 101) :down:

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