david.c Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 Cool Things About Being A Man 1- Your ass is never a factor in a job interview. 2- Your orgasms are real. Always. 3- Your last name stays put. 4- The garage is all yours. 5- Wedding plans take care of themselves. 6- You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid. 7- Car mechanics tell you the truth. 8- You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut. 9- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. 10- Same work, more pay. 11- Wrinkles add character. 12- You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments. 13- Wedding dress $2,000.00; Tux rental $100.00 14- If you retain water, it's in a canteen. 15- People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. 16- New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. 17- One mood, all the damn time. 18- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds. 19- A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase. 20- You can open all your own jars. 21- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 22- Your underwear is $10.00 for a three-pack. 23- If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.. 24- You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. 25- Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. 26- You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours with out thinking "he must be mad at me". 27- If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. 28- You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors 29- You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. 30- You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes. 31- The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. 32- Your belly usually hides your big hips 33- One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. 34- You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife. 35- Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DickieB Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 Can't agree with No 24 though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Seabrook Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bananaman Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 Spot on especially 31 & 35. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin Keene Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 29 is not always right for me... depends how many liquid friends where consumed the night before Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
david.c Posted January 8, 2004 Author Share Posted January 8, 2004 Can't agree with No 24 though That's the only one I wasn't sure on....................almost deleted it David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blatman Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 I always knew you two were a couple of women...... Taxi.......driven by a bloke, please........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldman Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 No 36.You can drink 10 pints of lager,eat a curry,throw up ,and your mates think you are a hero. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hilux Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 27- If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. Not sure about this one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Elworthy Posted January 8, 2004 Share Posted January 8, 2004 29 is not always right for me... depends how many liquid friends where consumed the night before If you're with the right friends, your nuts tighten themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stu999 Posted January 9, 2004 Share Posted January 9, 2004 No 36.You can drink 10 pints of lager,eat a curry,throw up ,and your mates think you are a hero. No it is not, thats a disagrace. Heros drink at least another five pints, and get a kebab Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
david.c Posted January 9, 2004 Author Share Posted January 9, 2004 24- You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. 'Come on you wimp,..............there was room to overtake at least another 2 cars before you pulled back in' This was the sort of chatter I had in mind Blatters. Not, how good the Next sale is. David Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blatman Posted January 11, 2004 Share Posted January 11, 2004 I guess I have driven/been driven by more girls than you......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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