mogwi Posted November 29, 2003 Share Posted November 29, 2003 We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules:- Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport and we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. 1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 30, 2003 Share Posted November 30, 2003 LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steppenwolf Posted November 30, 2003 Share Posted November 30, 2003 Oh yes, I can see where the guy who wrote this is coming from ....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doug D. Posted November 30, 2003 Share Posted November 30, 2003 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richgm Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 Can I just add. 1. When we have to go out at a certain time we mean that time not half hour later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Seabrook Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. This one was most fitting for me till about a month ago. Now none of the rules are applicable till the next female comes along. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fat Albert Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 I loved number 1. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bananaman Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartT Posted December 1, 2003 Share Posted December 1, 2003 also... 1 when we say we're popping out for some milk the correct response is " take the Westie, take a couple of hours, have fun ..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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