Captain Colonial Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 After I get the polar bears moved, I'll reduce global warming by 60% in my next plan involving cows, jet engines, wheels, Halfords, and Bernie Eccelstone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
s2rrr Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 Can't move the bears I'm afraid, the Antarctic is where all the oil is and we can't go on upsetting the oil majors with natural habitat issues. Probably better to shoot them all in the cause of human development. Did you see that bear being operated on the other day absolutely huge. Big beasties don't mess with them. Bob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Colonial Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 Ah Bob, my plan with the cows will reduce demand for fossil fuels significantly, so Antarctica will be safe for murdering polar bears. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
s2rrr Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 Cunning stunt I'll be bound. Bob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Colonial Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 More tomorrow. It's a plan so obvious and so cunning, it will look like a hundred foot tall fox holding a huge flashing neon sign that reads "cunning". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doug Dastardly Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 Are these plans coming straight out of the Blackadder book of cunning plans? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexander72 Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 Scott, to reduce global warming we must all drive faster so we spend less time in our cars....and i must plant more trees...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FILFAN Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 I'm still convinced that running my Landy on veggie oil is almost carbon neutral Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexander72 Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 run it on palm oil and it will be as it takes longer to grow hence more CO2 locked up...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexander72 Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 Filfan I bet you produce more CO2 after a lamb jalfrezi than your landy running on veg oil.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dommo Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 I'm still convinced that running my Landy on veggie oil is almost carbon neutral It's everyone you drive past who instantly fancies chips and so pops to the chip shop. That's where the real carbon effect lies... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FILFAN Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 It does stink especially when it's nearly neat. My theory is that the carbon produced is absorbed by the plants which in turn produce oxygen and then get made into oil with the only bad bit been the energy used refining it. Maybe i should apply for dual fuel tax class Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexander72 Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 Filfan, i dont think you would class for a dual fuel tax class as you are effectively using the same "fuel" from different source... good try though fella !!! you do save on cost though i guess??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norman Verona Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 I had a customer in the 70s who ran a diesel Austin J4 builders pick up. He would drive in, half fill with diesel then back onto the paraffin pump and top it up with that. He laid a huge smoke screen which would make a Navy destroyer hiding from the enemy jealous Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Colonial Posted March 6, 2013 Author Share Posted March 6, 2013 Right, we saved the polar bears - now on to Phase 2. There are 900 million vehicles on the planet, which thanks to modern exhaust technology, only contribute 2% of the world's nasty greenhouse gases. There are, however, 1.5 billion cows, whose methane burps (not farts - common misconception) contribute 60% of the world's greenhouse gases. Bad cows. Naughty, tasty, belching cows. The solution is obvious (to a genius like me): Put wheels and methane-powered jet engines on cows. We fit all cows with masks that collect their burps, which are used to power small jet engines, and axles and wheels, and we ride those around. Think of the advantages: > Everyone gets leather seats > No more going to the store for milk > Road rage would disappear - seriously, how mad can you get about anything when everyone is riding around on jet powered wheeled cows, who moo instead of honk? You'd be too busy laughing. > Different breeds for different tasks. Learner drivers can use a calf that grows into a bigger, more powerful cow as their driving skills increase. You can buy one of those huge cows if you need a people carrier. > When it gets old, you can kill it and eat it. Mmmmm.... > Road accident? Instant roadside barbecue! Mmmmm... barbecued beef... > 60% reduction in greenhouse gases - good for all the planet's inhabitants > New business opportunity - cow detailing and enhancement products from companies like Cowfords and Demon Hooves. Chrome teat rings, under udder neon lights, trick wheels, special high-octane feed... > Racing! Formula Cow would be great fun to watch, and drag strip racing would be unreal. And I'd pay good money to see the Speed Series, Cow Class! > No more dependence on oil companies and two fingers to high taxation on petrol and diesel Just imagine a world full of people riding around on cows and try not to smile. So good news for polar bears, people and cows, less good for penguins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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