Thursdays titter

[Norman Verona]

As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world,


I realized that at my age I don't really give a rat's ass anymore.


.. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.


.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.


.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while


.. A tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.


*************************


Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:


1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.



2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.


3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.


4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.


5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.


6. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it ?


7. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.


8. Some days, you're the top dog; some days you're the hydrant.


9. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.


10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.


11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.


12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.


13. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.


14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.


15. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.


16. It's not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.


17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.


18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".


19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.


20. HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE..........???



 

[pistonbroke]

where will it all end thats what I want to know

[Norman Verona]

I've no idea, but those jokes are terrible. I thought you could suffer as I had when reading them.

[7sRWild]

You should read them again because you will have forgotten them by now.....

[Norman Verona]

read what again?

[cidersurfer]

Norm

You've mis-spelled 'Gits'.

[Norman Verona]

Oh, have I. I'll fix it now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Er, what was I doing?

[stephenh]

Excellent, Norman, I agree with all the sentiments expressed...................I think....................as far as I can remember!

 

By the way, do you realise you really are old enough to know better now.  

[Norman Verona]

Me, old enough? No idea, how old am I?

 

Last time I remembered my birthday I was. er, now what was it? Ah, yes, 40. That's it I'm 40.

[pistonbroke]

how much of this can a chaps brain take in before his head explodes      

[Norman Verona]

You are allowed to go as far as a sizzling noise, then turn away.

[pistonbroke]

arghhhh !  when will it end