Tubs Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 Well, I've now become a another statistic. The wife has lodged a separation order (laws are slightly different here in Jersey) and we will be getting divorced in a years time. We have been together for 22 years and married for 18. Everything was good until I got Chronic Fatigue syndrome (Please do not send stories of how your sister's best mate's nephew was miraculously cured using an infusion of powdered turtle shell). Despite this, we still have a good standard of living however, "I'm now no fun to be with". This really upset me as I know that, if the roles were reversed, I wouldn't leave my wife and I can't imagine any of my friends divorcing their wives either in such a situation either. Which got me thinking about divorce and why it has become so commonplace. Here are some stats for UK 2011 Reasons for the divorce: The most common reason is couples growing apart or falling out of love - 27% Adultery comes second with 25% (was no.1 cause) The instigators : Joint - 28% Women - 68% Men - 4% On the bright side I will now have lots more money to spend on my cars. Tubs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darrell O'Neill Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 On the bright side I will now have lots more money to spend on my cars. The Laws must be hugely different in Jersey than where I come from then... All I will say is good luck, it really does get easier with time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeff oakley Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 Sad to hear this but in answer to your question as to why, it is because the grass is always greener. I know of two women who had great husbands who became bored, as a result they instigated a split which has now gone through. It is too easy to walk away instead of working through the issues especially for those who think they are missing out on the fun in live. At least it is not as bad as one member of staff I had, his wife forced him to have a vacestomy and on the day he did she left him for her lesbian lover and took the kids. When he asked why, she told him that she did not want him to have anymore kids so that he would have enough to pay her not to work! It will get better and one of the guys whose wife left him has a new lady in his life which is definatly a trade up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M444TTB Posted August 26, 2012 Share Posted August 26, 2012 Always a shame to read things like this. Not least because it puts other people off making such a commitment in the first place (just see some attitudes on PistonHeads!). I'm coming up for my first anniversary in two weeks time and still remember the words 'in sickness and in health'. Hopefully these aren't forgotten. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Colonial Posted August 26, 2012 Share Posted August 26, 2012 Also very sorry to hear this. The whole thing must be quite painful for you indeed. If we need to blame someone, may I offer my sister-in-law, who also lives on Jersey? You may know her better as Sauron from Lord of The Rings. She lives not far from the airport, which is why her home with the fiery eye on top is often mistaken for the control tower. I'm willing to bet she's responsible for all this. Hang in there, any man who can be a petrol head on an island with a blanket 40 mph limit must have a deep well of inner strength. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreigM Posted August 26, 2012 Share Posted August 26, 2012 Sad to hear this but in answer to your question as to why, it is because the grass is always greener. Agree with this - I think sometimes a long hard think about what life will REALLY be like after the split would easily stop the separation...they imagine it will be reclaiming their lost youth...they forget in their youth THEY were young and an attractive proposition to others, now they are just sad, middle aged and likely to have to "downgrade" every aspect of their life.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norman Verona Posted August 26, 2012 Share Posted August 26, 2012 We're coming up to our 44th year as a married couple. We've had to work very hard at making it a success. But now we're settling into a happy union with a very easy attitude. The hard work is done and now for the fruits of all that labour. Tubs, I guess you must accept it and move on. You may well find that your grass is greener on the other side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SootySport Posted August 26, 2012 Share Posted August 26, 2012 All I can offer is tea & sympathy. Been through it all myself some 30 years ago, hurt like hell for a year or two but does get better when you find Miss Perfect. Good luck to you fella, love your Westy for a while until you find your little Miss Perfect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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