Captain Colonial Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 A brilliant and humorous response to the notion that the Bible is the ultimate justification for any conflicting viewpoint in this day and age. Woe betide those who cherry-pick documents for their own advantage... Owning A Canadian On her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, written by a U.S. man, and posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative: Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them. 1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? 2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? 3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence. 4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? 5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it? 6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination? 7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here? 8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die? 9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? 10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. Your adoring fan, James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia P.S. It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
echoz Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 It's mice to know that theor are people in educative power that 1, have a sense of humour and 2. still possess that brilliant skill called common sense :d Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meakin Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 excellent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bdy5600 Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Love it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
s2rrr Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 I guess that was her being told wasn't it and by an intelectual apparently. Bob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DuncanH Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Trully great, it would be interesting if a response was ever released. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DerekJ Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Ha Ha.....Repost :p http://forum.wscc.co.uk/forum/index.php?/topic/82806-never-discuss/page__hl__schlesinger__fromsearch__1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Colonial Posted June 8, 2012 Author Share Posted June 8, 2012 My bad.... But I still enjoyed it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DerekJ Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 My bad.... But I still enjoyed it. Me too, it's a clasic and well worth another look Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V8grunt Posted June 8, 2012 Share Posted June 8, 2012 Funny, I did some research and they all could be answered logically, 4/ The sacrificial alter was well away from habitation, 6/ The Sea was about 100 miles away, In that climate sea food would take days to get there, and be un-eatable, The Law was a protection and a reminder of who they were. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexander72 Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 very good - i like the canadian bit.. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norman Verona Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 As a non-practicing Jew may I make an observation. Not on the whole of the above but on one matter. Jews are not allowed to eat pig (amongst other things) as the pig is deemed unclean and therefore not healthy. By the way the Arab will not eat pig for the same reason. Must have something to do with living in a hot place. The real reason is that if you kill a pig it is going off withing a few hours. Now, 5000 years ago before refrigeration and fast transport a pig was as high as a kite before it reached the table. Today this is not so so what's the problem? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
s2rrr Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 And the lord said "let there be light" then Norman changed the bulb and it all got a bit disjointed after that . Fully agree that the old "religious rules were in my humble opinion merely a basic set of survival techniques. The pork bit being one of the most obvious ones, stuff like the fasting period etc and other rules we unfortunately see as barbaric are reasonably logical when you dig a bit deeper. Hows about using the right hand for eating and the left for other functions, avoids cross contamination, simples. Chopping a hand off for thieving means that the accused has to use one hand for both functions and thats a big no no. My mate attended a big banquet in Saudi and made the schoolboy error of using his left hand to pick up some food, game over, meal finished disarray. Rules is rules, we don't understand them and thats the problem. Have you seen some of the middle aged women, no wonder the Burkha is used. Most of the younger village women I spotted abroad although dressed in gaudy colours on a Friday were actually stunnngly good looking but its very rude to stare, especially as most of the blokes carry guns. Religion in my mind is a basic code of ethics, but I don't want anyone ramming there rules down my throat so I stay happily away from it all. Bob 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norman Verona Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 To carry on Bob's theme. Modern Judaism is a really good set of rules for living in love and peace with your family and neighbours. Only problem is that no one seems to have explained that to the Israelis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
s2rrr Posted June 9, 2012 Share Posted June 9, 2012 I guess it is fully acceptable to mock your own, not so good at wherever they are playing football at the moment, they seem to have a few chanting and violence issues.We won't be there long so it shouldn't bother the English team much. Bob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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