Famous drinking quotes

[Noel Johnson]

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed.  Then

 I look into the glass and think about the workers in the  brewery and  all

 of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they  might be  out

 of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I said to  myself, "It  is

 better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true  than be

 selfish and worry about my liver."

  --- Jack Handy

 

  I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the  morning,

  that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

  --- Frank Sinatra

 

  The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk,  they're

 sober.

  --- William Butler Yeats

 

  Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.

  --- Catherine Zandonella

 

  Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.

  --- Anonymous

 

  A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to  thank her.

  --- W.C. Fields

 

  What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?

  --- Tee Mans

 

  When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

  --- Henny Youngman

 

  Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted  all of the

  time and have the time of your life.

  --- Michelle Mastrolacasa

 

  I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

  --- Tom Waits

 

  24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

  --- Stephen Wright

 

 You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an  airline. It

 helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear  weapons, but at

  the very least you need a beer.

  --- Frank Zappa

 

 Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has

 taken out of me.

  --- Winston Churchill

 

 Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

 --- Benjamin Franklin

 If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes

 beer shoot out your nose.

 -- Deep Thought, Jack Handy

 

 Without question, the greatest invention in the history of  mankind is

 beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the  wheel

 does not go nearly as well with pizza.

 --- Dave Barry

 

 The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks  behind.

 --- Humphrey Bogart

 

 Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.

 --- Kaiser Wilhelm

 

 You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

 --- Dean Martin

 

 Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!

 ---Anonymous

 

 To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support group.

 --- Anonymous

 

 Beer - Because one doesn't solve the world's problems over white wine..