Captain Colonial Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 ONE-POINT DARES 1. Run one lap around the office at top speed 2. Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time). 3. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you. 4. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye." 5. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your head. 6. When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!" 7. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way". 8. Walk sideways to the photocopier. 9. While riding in a lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open. THREE-POINTS DARES 1. Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers. 2. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it". 3. Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice). 4. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight). 5. Shout random numbers while someone is counting. FIVE POINT DARES 1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself). 2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times. 3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob". 4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two". 5. After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour. 6. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift. 7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!" 8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again." 9. In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights". 10. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?" 11. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now". 12. Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it". 13. Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go. 14. Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call. 15. Find the vacuum and start hoovering around your desk. 16. Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out. 17. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash each biscuit with your fist. 18. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door. 19. Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts. And if that wasn't enough for you here are some examples of insane acts you can use anywhere... 1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2. Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN." 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. 6. In the subject field for all your e-mails, write " FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS". 7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy." 8. Don't use any punctuation 9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer. 11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 12. Sing along at the opera. 13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. 14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day. 15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood. 16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard. 17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!" 18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7sRWild Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 I will let you know how that goes... If you promise ti visit me in my cosy padded cell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
echoz Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 :d :d Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dombanks Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 we have conversations on fridays where we have to use the lyrics from rebecca black's, friday song. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frag68 Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 Very good Captain, I did try something similar a few years back with some colleagues at a monthly meeting. We played office buzzword bingo. We all had a list of buzzwords and phrases like Key Performance Indicators, or Optimisation, etc and once someone had a full "house" then it they stood up and shouted bingo. It was a laugh and our manager didnt know what to do. She thought it was hilarious but didnt appreciate we were taking the p!sh. Our cards were marked after that. Fraser Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Colonial Posted March 16, 2012 Author Share Posted March 16, 2012 Very good Captain, I did try something similar a few years back with some colleagues at a monthly meeting. We played office buzzword bingo. We all had a list of buzzwords and phrases like Key Performance Indicators, or Optimisation, etc and once someone had a full "house" then it they stood up and shouted bingo. It was a laugh and our manager didnt know what to do. She thought it was hilarious but didnt appreciate we were taking the p!sh. Our cards were marked after that. Fraser We called it BS Bingo and did the same thing. I set up a syndicate at work about how long the monthly board meeting would last, £10 each, closest wins.. Idiots all piled in with their times and bets, I chose last. You should have seen their faces when I chaired the meeting! Easiest £90 I ever made. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Eastwood (Gadgetman) - Club Chairman Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 :d :d :d You sir ARE an evil genius; us mere mortals just aren't worthy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frag68 Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 We called it BS Bingo and did the same thing. I set up a syndicate at work about how long the monthly board meeting would last, £10 each, closest wins.. Idiots all piled in with their times and bets, I chose last. You should have seen their faces when I chaired the meeting! Easiest £90 I ever made. Absolute genius Captain, I would love to try that one, however my current dept has only 3 people in it so I will never be rich. Maybe one day if things change, however management will need to get a personality transplant first as these naughties are seriously frowned upon now. Office life is not fun any more. Gone are he days when I flled a colleagues umbrella with everybodys hole punch circles of paper. Opened it o the front step of the office and was covered in bits of white paper. also kidnapping office furniture etc. Pranks are not taken very well and are not tolerated and are considered time wasting. So much for team building and keeping morale up. Rant over. Keep the pranks going everyone. Fraser Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Colonial Posted March 16, 2012 Author Share Posted March 16, 2012 Absolute genius Captain, I would love to try that one, however my current dept has only 3 people in it so I will never be rich. Maybe one day if things change, however management will need to get a personality transplant first as these naughties are seriously frowned upon now. Office life is not fun any more. Gone are he days when I flled a colleagues umbrella with everybodys hole punch circles of paper. Opened it o the front step of the office and was covered in bits of white paper. also kidnapping office furniture etc. Pranks are not taken very well and are not tolerated and are considered time wasting. So much for team building and keeping morale up. Rant over. Keep the pranks going everyone. Fraser Sadly correct and agree. My favourite was a bad day in the office, staff needed lightening up. I took the hole punches from all over the ofice into the single user only ladies loo. Then I took the nozzle on the hand dryer, turned it itowards the ceiling and filled it with the hole punches. What I didn't realise was the lady office manager would go it, sit on the loo to relieve herself, then press the close-by hand dryer button to cover the noise of her bodily functions... There was a scream, followed by her running down the hall, yelling expletives, a cloud of hole punches following her down the hall and informing everyone they were stuck everywhere on her body including her nether regions. Not much work got done that afternoon, but everyone went home happy. Well, almost everyone.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norman Verona Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 shouldn't Don't use any punctuation be Dont use any punctuation Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dombanks Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 An off spin of office bingo is give everyone a set of words or phrases they have to use in a meeting or when talking to certain people, the more difficult they are to get in the more points you get. Witnesses are need to confirm the usage at the end of the week or whatever the least points buys the drinks in Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedditchJay Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 Captain C............... you have far too much spare time LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephenh Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 I have just spent the last 5 minutes laughing my head off, and Mrs H. Genius. :laugh: :t-up: :t-up: :t-up: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wile E. Coyote Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 You're missing a few... 1) Microsoft "AutoCorrect": will "correct" the user's typing with whatever "correction" you've told it it should make. 2) "Hunt and stab" typers mostly know they've got a QWERTY keyboard, but how many of them know the bottom row isn't ZXCVBMN? A screwdriver will easily pop the key caps off to allow the modification to take place... 3) Cars of colleagues who leave keys in their desks before spending lots of time in meetings can easily develop faults with their radios, with these regularly re-tuning or mysteriously changing the order of their presets: not the easiest "fault" to diagnose if a group are aiding and abetting. Of course, for any fans of The Office, there's always the stapler encased in jelly... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frag68 Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 Again in the days when we could have fun in the office, we used to connect keyboards to different computers as well as the mouse, take cords out of telephones, as above mix up the letters on the keyboards, take the ball out of the mouse (before infra red ones) remove the odd wheel from the chairs, however the best laugh we had was when a colleague left a box of Maltesers on his desk only to come in the next day to every single one with a bite out of them. Yes a colleague took it upon himself to take the Maltesers out one by one take a bite and but them back into the box. At the moment, I am having a laugh with a colleague who has an artificial fish tank which had 2 plastic fish in it on his desk. These fish have went missing and have a Hotmail account detailing their travels all over the world. They have been in Kuwait, Australia and over Scotland and England. He has not a clue who has them and is far from amused. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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