lippydave Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 Much appreciate the respected retorts not just grilling me for somewhat bulshy remarks in all fairness, I guess in a way I'm just very bitter towards the whole subject, I have a lot to learn in many aspects of life, and do not claim to be wise at all i apoligise if my comments did seem shallow naive or just downright ignorant, I'm sure they were in many ways... I don't think you were shallow, maybe a little naive, but hey that's part of youth... To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.... However, some of us have managed to combine the attributes of both youth and age... I may be old and stupid....but hey, at least I'm happy... Quote
echoz Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 I would erm..echo some of your comments echoz. Yes perhaps some are slightly 'bulshy' as you put it but you are not completely in the wrong. Every persons situation is different and I for one am not a great believer in the 'depression' label. I'm not for a second suggesting that the problem doesnt exist, I do however think that it is something that is bandied about all to often in todays society sadly. I agree with others above that it is a very dark area and people who genuinely have mental problems must be given the support they require. I may have taken echoz comments the wrong way but I 'think' the point he was getting at was those who use the word depression too readily these days. I have first hand experience of someone with 'issues' and they used to hide behind their (in their case) so called illness using it to excuse their behaviour which made everything worse. The point I'm trying to make is that there will never be a right answer as every case is different. You do immediately struggle to sympathise with someone who apparently has it all but none of us know what was going on behind the scenes Also, at the risk of being controversial, in my opinion commiting suicide IS cowardly. The act itself may require an element of courage to follow through but to take your own life and avoid dealing with the consequences of that, and indeed the problem in the first place can be seen no other way in my eyes. I think this is only compounded when you are leaving loved ones behind (especially children) as others have said above. In no way are my comments intended to offend anyone so apologies if they do. I am well known for saying things the wrong way! Dave Very much so what I meant Quote
echoz Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 Dave, depends how you define stupid, from what I've seen you write, I wouldn't say you were stupid in the slightest, quite the opposite in fact Quote
nikpro Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 Also, at the risk of being controversial, in my opinion commiting suicide IS cowardly. The act itself may require an element of courage to follow through but to take your own life and avoid dealing with the consequences of that, and indeed the problem in the first place can be seen no other way in my eyes. I think this is only compounded when you are leaving loved ones behind (especially children) as others have said above.In no way are my comments intended to offend anyone so apologies if they do. I am well known for saying things the wrong way! Dave Dave, those comments alone show that you have no understanding of what mental illness is IMO. Depression is not just feeling 'down' at times like we all do. It doesn't matter how rich/successful or Privileged you are - we can all suffer depression as we can all suffer from other illnesses. Would you ask a person with a broken leg to enter the Olympic 100m Race? Just because you can't see mental illness people ignore it. Many good men were shot for being 'cowardly' during the first world war when they were suffering from shell shock. I'd like to think we've moved on but obviously not in some casses. Quote
Captain Colonial Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 We're obviously speculating that he did this tragic thing because he was depressed - that has yet to be established, if indeed it ever is. The only thing relevant is that it has had terrible consequences for his family and friends, for which I'm sure we all have great sympathy. Leaving Gary Speed to one side, depression is indeed a terrible thing that is affecting more and more people in these very trying times. There is still a small minority of people who do not recognise that clinical depression is an illness, not a lifestyle choice, and is at last not the stigma that it once was. The old "pull yourself together" viewpoint is thankfully being confined to the dustbin where it belongs. Depression can be controlled, but spotting it is frequently difficult. I urge anyone who has a friend or family member who suffers from depression to be supportive and understanding in getting them the help they need. Quote
SteveD Posted November 28, 2011 Author Posted November 28, 2011 not many know this but i suffer from depression or whats called depression and have sinse about 1997 ,its hard at times and took a long time to realise there was a problem ,half the battle is admitting it to yourself and reaching for help i turned to drink and drugs for a long time at first, and believe me you dont want to go there its not a nice place ,understanding family and freinds is what you need ,that really helps , but still now and then i get what i call people overload ,where i just just feel fenced in by people who all seem to want a piece of me and i just dont want to talk to anyone for a few hours or days ,i just have to get back on track and sort each person out one by one , we all laugh and joke about mental illness but i can say its no joke Quote
D7PNY Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 Also, at the risk of being controversial, in my opinion commiting suicide IS cowardly. The act itself may require an element of courage to follow through but to take your own life and avoid dealing with the consequences of that, and indeed the problem in the first place can be seen no other way in my eyes. I think this is only compounded when you are leaving loved ones behind (especially children) as others have said above.In no way are my comments intended to offend anyone so apologies if they do. I am well known for saying things the wrong way! Dave Dave, those comments alone show that you have no understanding of what mental illness is IMO. Depression is not just feeling 'down' at times like we all do. It doesn't matter how rich/successful or Privileged you are - we can all suffer depression as we can all suffer from other illnesses. Would you ask a person with a broken leg to enter the Olympic 100m Race? Just because you can't see mental illness people ignore it. Many good men were shot for being 'cowardly' during the first world war when they were suffering from shell shock. I'd like to think we've moved on but obviously not in some casses. I don't pretend to understand mental illness but I can sympathise. I think those unfortunate enough to suffer from a mental illness are the only ones that could hope to understand it but perhaps ironically, if they did then they could deal with their problems easier. I don't think for a second every person that commits suicide is intentionally cowardly, far from it as many will feel it is the right thing to do in their state of mind. However, I think the act itself is, no matter how I try to look at it regardless of whether that was their intention or not. As I said above, I don't mean to offend but that is my opinion and it is based on actual experiences (perhaps some of them slightly extreme) which has perhaps influenced me unfairly but that is all I have had to base my opinion on. Cheers, Dave Quote
RedditchJay Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 who knows what goes on in people's minds.... or what throws the switch to do such a thing..... Quote
SteveD Posted November 28, 2011 Author Posted November 28, 2011 oh and you soon find out who your friends are when you tell them you have a problem ,i lost quite a few friends when i told them because they didnt know what to do or how to deal with it ,so quite a few just steered clear of me ,im still me and was still me throughout it ,i havnt spoken to a lot of people that were my friends sinse 97/98, in the end i thought to myself its them that really have the problem not me ,but to be honest it was just easier not to tell anyone in the end Quote
D7PNY Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 oh and you soon find out who your friends are when you tell them you have a problem ,i lost quite a few friends when i told them because they didnt know what to do or how to deal with it ,so quite a few just steered clear of me ,im still me and was still me throughout it ,i havnt spoken to a lot of people that were my friends sinse 97/98, in the end i thought to myself its them that really have the problem not me ,but to be honest it was just easier not to tell anyone in the end 'with friends like that who needs enemies' would spring to mind there. You are more than likely better off without them mate! Dave Quote
echoz Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 Would just ;like to clarify that in no way was i insinuating that depression is a load of tosh, i spent the past 2 and a half years of my life living with a depressed person who was depressed because her dad who abused her as a child killed himself after years of alcohol and drug abuse and numerous attempts of suicide, she now lives everyday with a 101 questions she will never get answers to, waking up screaming every night for the first 3 months after it happened, and periodically still after the last time i spoke to her. having to cpomfort her... i spent 2 and a half years helping that girl in every way i could, and imho i know i made a huge difference to her life, i know fully well what depression is and what it entails and how much it hurts, i also have family members who suffer from depression, one of whom has been on many forms of medication, many different councilling techniques and just recently also tried killing himself, i hope many of you have never had to experience seeing their own mum have a nervous breakdown after finding out her son had tried to commit suicide. its a sad strange place to be... again no offence meant, but just re read through this since this morning and can't help but feel that some folks refuse to acknowledge that a young adult can have opinions (if the boot fits...), I won't be commenting on this thread again, in retrospect, should probably have left it well alone! ETA: Steve, would never have guessed you suffered from depression, always seem to have a half full glass in ya hand, 1997 is 14 years ago now, you're still with us, maybe in a way this illustrates my point. For some one i've never met i hold a lot of respect for you, as a few others on here. Quote
John Loudon - Sponsorship Liaison Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 oh and you soon find out who your friends are when you tell them you have a problem ,i lost quite a few friends when i told them because they didnt know what to do or how to deal with it ,so quite a few just steered clear of me ,im still me and was still me throughout it ,i havnt spoken to a lot of people that were my friends sinse 97/98, in the end i thought to myself its them that really have the problem not me ,but to be honest it was just easier not to tell anyone in the end Man love to you wuv Quote
peterg Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 Like SteveD and Gadgetman, I too have had episodes of clinical depression over the last 10-12 years but luckily it can be controlled through medication and that has enabled me to hold down a full time job through a marital breakdown, a very worrying health scare plus other major concerns all happening to me in the last 12 months. If you haven't been that low then you have no idea what it feels like and how hard it is to recover to what is supposed to be 'normal' without the drugs and/or therapy of some sort. The first time I had a breakdown back in 2000 I was put on Prozac, it took nearly three weeks for them to 'kick in' but when they did it was like someone flicked a switch and all of a sudden the clouds lifted and I was myself again, it really was that quick proving that there had been a deficiency of a chemical in my brain which was restored through medication. Fortunately I never got to the point of seriously contemplating suicide but the thought of being a burden on your loved ones and only making their lives worse by being around is a common theme and it only takes a bit more pressure to drive someone to do it... I've been very lucky in having a group of friends who have all supported me and stayed in touch and that has helped me through some rough times and as quite a few of them are on here I'd like to say publicly a big thank you for being there (you know who you are) Quote
RedditchJay Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 wow... this is getting deeeeeep....... how the heck do you know if your heading this way.... or do you "just know" Quote
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