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Posted

In the same vein as Claggy's top three - but this is for your all time worst cars.

to kick us off, I give you:-

3/ Citreon 2CV - Plenty of character and I kind of liked it - but this particular one was cursed.

Numerous problems with it and odd accidents wheneever I wasn't around - like the time I left it in an NCP car park and came back to find a white lining machine had "gone wild" (according to the operator).

I came back to find a very wobbly line across the car park - seriously - leading straight to the 2CV - which was badly dented and covered in white paint - seriously. The gang operating the machine were so applogetic - I laughed till a bit of wee came out!

Then some gang cloned the reg and did an armed robbery (in a 2cv? I know). It didn;t take me long to convince the police I couldn't drive to essex and back (from cumbria) in 45mins in a 2cv :-)

I caught it smoking at the backl of the car park twice - been left all day and the wiring behind the dash shorts and is just about to burn out 2mins before I walk up to it. Very odd. Loads more stuff like that - memorable for all the wrong reasons

2/ MKIII Escort Diesel base spec in white - belonged to work - desperately slow, no charater at all - and I just didn't get on with it somehow.

1/ Renault Laguna - a lagoon by another name. the footwells  constantly filled with water, garage couldn't find fault (under warrantee) and it was just so soul-less somehow, yak.

I feel dirty now....

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Posted

Austin Allegro........... :blush:

VW Beetle........... :arse:

Renault 19.......... :oops:

Posted

Rover SD1 3500, which first needed a total re-spray when only about 2 years old. Austin Rover wouldn't even consider contributing towards the cost, because it was a demonstrator rather than purchased brand new. No wonder they went down the pan in the end! only surprise is they dragged on so long. Also used to eat rear suspension bushes, at least one new one needed every few months.  Again, Rover not interested, I shouldn't accelerate so hard! :bangshead:  :bangshead:

Other two? Mrs H.'s Morris Marina, and Mrs H's Austin Allegro. Enough said? cant remember what faults the Allegro had, so long ago, but it was quite regularly in for something or other. The Marina (1.8 estate) was actually quite reliable, just had aweful steering, road holding and handling.

Posted

Alfa 147

It was in the top 3 and the bottom 3. All the Italian car cliches. She was a beautiful temptress dressed in red leather, I was a young, somewhat niaeve lad and she took me for a ride. Spent most days throwing a strop because she didn't like the smell of my aftershave. More time in the garage than on the road, the ABS brain died the day before I sold it, cambelt snapped, turbo overboost trip-out, sticking turbo vanes, suspension bushes shot ... all on a 40k mile car.

Peugeot 306 XTDT

Again, national car cliches come true. It was built like Mr Potato Head and fell apart around our ears. All the electric windows stopped working, the electric sunroof had to be operated with care because it would bite your fingers fiddling with a snapped mechanism inside. It leaked like a sieve. The final straw was the bursting of the heater matrix. A £40 part but the dash was bonded in to get at it, when it was -5C outside it was -5C inside and the windows would frost up on the inside. G/F was driving it to work about the time I got a nice shiney company Mondeo, she hated me.

Pretty much anything I've had on a company project scheme/ hire car because you always get the base model that inevitably smells of fag smoke and has been treated like a company car.

Posted

Fiat Uno,  Crap!

Ford Sierra 2.3  Diesel,    rice pudding/skin/pull the/couldn't.....re-arrange!

Vauxhall Viva.......ummm, Crap!

Posted

Rover 213: Epically bad, so bad in fact we called it Christine.  Made left turns automatically even with perfect alignment, awful electrics, and doors that locked themselves as you drove... It didn't have power door locks!

Rover Metro: What a miserable, hateful little death trap.

Austin Montego: Or Monte-No-Go more often than not.

I can see a trend developing... :bangshead:

Posted

Rover SD1 3500, which first needed a total re-spray when only about 2 years old. Austin Rover wouldn't even consider contributing towards the cost, because it was a demonstrator rather than purchased brand new. No wonder they went down the pan in the end! only surprise is they dragged on so long. Also used to eat rear suspension bushes, at least one new one needed every few months.  Again, Rover not interested, I shouldn't accelerate so hard! :bangshead:  :bangshead:

Other two? Mrs H.'s Morris Marina, and Mrs H's Austin Allegro. Enough said? cant remember what faults the Allegro had, so long ago, but it was quite regularly in for something or other. The Marina (1.8 estate) was actually quite reliable, just had aweful steering, road holding and handling.

That Rover sounds very like my (company car) 1980 Princess 2200HLS Auto. Never a day in its life from new to the day it was low loader rescued from the M40 did it have a fault-free moment. From sticking throttle to torque converter dropping off - twice - into the bell-housing. Henly's Central School of Incompetence didn't help, though... :bangshead: It used a gallon of engine oil in a return trip from London to Manchester.

Posted

1: westfield seiw

2:dolomite

3:rover 2600

Posted

1) Manta Berlinetta

2) Vauxhall Frontera

3) Jeep Cerokee

All as crap as each other  :down:

Posted

1.  Morris Marina pickup - my first company vehicle which was 8 years old and very tired when I got it.  Fluorescent yellow.

2.  1984 Cavalier 1.6D.  One of Vauxhalls' first attempts at diesels.  When they facelifted it they took the gearbox down from 5 speed to 4 speed cos it didn't have enough power to run into a headwind on the flat in fifth!  Ate cambelts as well.

3.  Rover 414 c. '94.  Couldn't stop a leak on the power steering and it depreciated like a stone in the 10 months before we replaced it with a lovely Mazda 626.  Also a '94 model; one of my lads is still driving it and it's still a great car!

Posted
1: westfield seiw

2:dolomite

3:rover 2600

you cannot drop a Westy in there without an explanation  :oops:  :D

Posted

Mini 1000 bought a badly repaired bent one, and come on me in a mini! :D

Vauxhall Magnum slant 1800 - 12 mpg

1.8 petrol Almera Tino- flat as a fart, drank petrol and was gutless

Posted

Mk1 Escort 1100 XL

Vauxhall Nova 1.4 Luxe

Mercendes SLK200 Mk1

All had crap handling and dull performance in common.

Tubs.

Posted

ok... worst 3

1 = Mini Scamp kit car

2 = Morris Ital Estate

3 = Fiesta 1.6D

Posted

1) Mk 1 Escort 1300GT - unreliable everything

2) Clio 1.4RT - Unreliable French electrics, leaky sunroof

3) Westfield SeiW - Annoying over-run noise that still hasn't been cured despite engine out 7 times,  rain magnet.

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