Funny computer quotes

[Tigger]

There are some new ones and some old but still worth a read:

50. Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there's Google.

49. Failure is not an option -- it comes bundled with Windows.

48. Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

47. A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

46. Artificial Intelligence usually beats natural stupidity.

45. A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

44. Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error.

43. If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0.

42. Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Computers are from hell.

41. Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code.

40. Why do we want intelligent terminals when there are so many stupid users?

39. To go forward, you must backup.

38. See daddy ? All the keys are in alphabetical order now.

37. The world will end in five minutes. Please log out.

36. SUPERCOMPUTER: what it sounded like before you bought it.

35. Yo moma is like HTML: Tiny head, huge body.

34. Who the hell is General Failure? And why is he trying to read my hard disk.

33. A Windows user spends 1/3 of his life sleeping, 1/3 working, 1/3 waiting.

32. WARNING: Keyboard Not Attached. Press F1 to Continue.

31. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

30. The only problem with troubleshooting is that sometimes trouble shoots back.

29. Crap... Someone knocked over my recycle bin... There's icons all over my desktop..!

28. Relax, its only ONES and ZEROS !

27. If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.

26. I don't care if you ARE getting a PhD in it ! Get away from that damn computer and go find a woman!

25. The nice thing about Windows - it does not just crash; it actually displays a dialogue box and lets you press OK first.

24. If brute force doesn't solve your problems, then you aren't using enough.

23. Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

22. The nice thing about standards is that there are so many to choose from.

21. Microsoft:- You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips.

20. I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly.

19. VISTA = Virus Inside, Switch To Apple

18. If you don't want to be replaced by a computer, don't act like one.

17. I had a fortune cookie the other day and it said: 'Outlook not so good'. I said: 'Sure, but Microsoft ships it anyway.

16. I went to a gentleman's cybercafe — and they offered me a 'laptop dance'.

15. Computer are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open windows.

14. The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.

13. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

12. Difference between a virus and windows ? Viruses rarely fail.

11. Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back to you.

10. 1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d

9. Helpdesk: There is an icon on your computer labeled "My Computer". Double click on it. User: What's your computer doing on mine?"

8. Windows isn't a virus, viruses do something.

7. If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

6. Hit any user to continue.

5. Any fool can use a computer, Many do.

4. Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.

3. Geek's favorite pickup line: Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?.

2. You know you're a geek when... You try to shoo a fly away from the monitor with your cursor. That just happened to me. It was scary.

1. Smith & Wesson — the original point and click interface.

[Dave Eastwood (Gadgetman) - Club Chairman]

Is it sad to find that so funny      

[Tigger]

Hey Gadget, if you only laughed at one of them then that's gotta be good medicine