westy Posted December 20, 2001 Posted December 20, 2001 OT but worth sharing: Once there was a man that survived a terrible Plane crash and was lost in a forest...... He had no idea where he was or which way to go. He wandered for days and survived on berries and twigs. He was much to slow to catch any kind of animal and couldn't even start a fire. He should have joined the boy scouts when he was young. After two week of wondering he found a thin but three story house with smoke coming out of the chimney. Without hesitation he knocked on the door. A little Man answered the door. He had a long white beard that hung almost to the floor. "Please I need some food and Shelter." Said the young man. "This I will give you but you must promise not to fool with my lovely daughter." the old man said. "Thank you and I wouldn't think of messing with your daughter." "For if you do I will inflict the three most gruesome Chinese torture tests that have ever been devised." The man to weak agreed not thinking that any woman could arouse him in his weak state. After a shower and some sleep the man came down to eat. A grand dinner was set up and the man sat to eat. The old man's daughter entered the room and to great surprise of the young man, she was most beautiful. So beautiful that the man could hardly tear his eyes away from her during the meal. Later that night the man crept into the girls room just to take one last look at her for he promised to leave early the next morning with a map the old man gave him. When he opened the door he saw the girl was awake and to his surprise she ushered him in. Well being stuck in a forest with just your father doesn't suppress all urges so one thing lead to another. They were as quiet as possible not to wake the old man. After a few hours the man crept to his room thinking that any torture would be worth what he had just done. He fell asleep thinking of her. The next morning he got up and felt an enormous pain on his chest. It was a rock with a sign on it. It said: 1st Chinese torture, 100 pound rock on chest! Well this wasn't hardly what the man thought would rate as torture and threw the rock out the window. As he did this he saw a second sign just outside the window it said: 2nd Chinese torture, Left testicle tied to 100 pound rock! The man with out hesitation jumped out the window knowing a 3 story drop would be far better than what was in store for him. As he fell to the ground he saw a large sign on the ground. It said: 3rd Chinese torture,Right testicle tied to bed post! Westy Quote
N_J Posted December 20, 2001 Posted December 20, 2001 Mark ... any chance of getting a pic of Kylie printed on the speed series stickers for next year ? Quote
westy Posted December 20, 2001 Posted December 20, 2001 How about just a full new paint job of the Westy with Kylie draped over the bonnet? Westy Quote
Mark Stanton Posted December 20, 2001 Posted December 20, 2001 NJ S'pose you'll be wanting extra points for displaying "Team Kylie" stickers next And why not - where's Uncle Tom Quote
Noel Johnson Posted December 21, 2001 Posted December 21, 2001 Hi All, I've just checked ot the Kylie link - blood and sand she's hot but I stand by my statement in the heater poll thread that Clarissa Dixon-Wright is a real woman, especially in that flying helmet At the start of the football season I was asked if I wanted to have a fantasy football team, not being a huge fan I decided that I'd take my own warped slant on the subject and start fantasy football wives. The Noel Johnson all star 11 is as follows: 1. Posh Spice 2. Posh Spice 3. Posh Spice 4. Posh Spice 5. Posh Spice 6. Posh Spice 7. Posh Spice 8. Posh Spice 9. Posh Spice 10. Posh Spice 11. Posh Spice Substitute: Louise Redknapp (sorry Mark but she's just not in the same league) Merry Christmas, and may your roads be twisty and dry. Noel Quote
Mark Stanton Posted December 21, 2001 Posted December 21, 2001 Noel - its great to see they've let you out for Christmas Still got the Labrador Pity the Posh Therapy didn't quite work out Pass me a slice of cucumber and a celery stick. Quote
Buzz Billsberry Posted December 21, 2001 Author Posted December 21, 2001 Noel.... you can't be serious??? Posh Spice is a dog!! She looks like shes had a face set on fire and died out with a shovell!! She's about as attractive as a bull dog on acid chewing a wasp!! Now are Leader's gone down the root with Louise... You should see her website!!! jeeeeeeesus!! By the way Kylie's new 2002 calander is hot and I mean dribbling down the walls hot!!! Buzz Quote
Mark Stanton Posted December 21, 2001 Posted December 21, 2001 Pete Always been an ambition of mine to go down the Louise root But Kylie has now become a close second Quote
gee_fin Posted December 21, 2001 Posted December 21, 2001 She looks as stunning in person as she does on TV. When I lived in Liverpool, I walked into the George to meet some friends. Saw this good-looking girl at the bar said to my mate "That looks just like Louise" and he replies "That's because it is" and over walks Jamie Redknapp. Quote
Mark Stanton Posted December 21, 2001 Posted December 21, 2001 Redknapp (bah) he may have the looks, money and football talent - but I betcha he ain't got a Westfield Quote
gee_fin Posted December 21, 2001 Posted December 21, 2001 Are you saying that I don't have money, looks or talent? Quote
gee_fin Posted December 22, 2001 Posted December 22, 2001 Well, I may not have any money but my Grandmother says I'm 'special'. Does that count? Quote
Mark Stanton Posted December 22, 2001 Posted December 22, 2001 Graeme So long as your Gran didn't mean that you were "Special Needs" Merry Christmas Don't work too hard - I'll be in my office as well. Quote
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