Caught my 15y/o daughter smoking

[Mechanical Numpty]

Daughter 15 went out last night - to a party (supposedly). Arrived back well drunk and had also been smoking...

She is grounded for a long time - but how should we deal with the smoking issue - shock her or what? Any pointers at all??

Mr Mech Numpty

[Bambi]

Tricky but you could make her do some research into the effects smoking will have on her skin and future attractiveness.  

[adamnreeves]

Agree with Nick. The best approach is how it effects their health, appearance, etc. and let her make the right decision for herself.

[slippy]

I was up to a lot worse at 15 but agree with the others allow her to make her own informed decision as trying to force her one way or the other could make her rebel

[Lurksalot]

Very difficult, but assuming its tobbacco she's smoking I'd be more concerned about the drinking.

We all know the problems associated with both and with teenagers sometimes our annoyance and hard words only serves to fire the rebel in them.

Most kids are good and will have their moments but the drink can bring problems because they loose their ( common) sense .

A good chat finding out why she needs or wants to do it might help so that she can analyse her own choices and hopefully make the right choice herself.

[Steve Williams]

If you know any doctors or pathologists, get them to show her the muck that comes out of the lungs of a smoker. It bears a distinct resemblance to diesel engine oil after 20,000 miles without a change. I saw a video of this after an autopsy, and man was it unpleasant. I guess the real thing would be even more effective, but probably difficult to arrange.

This is good for a start:

http://www.veoh.com/videos/v208510GeCZqXrw

http://www.neversmokeagain.com/reasons_s.html

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/398563/quit_smoking/

[Sam-Kit car dreams]

She may have only smoked for the first time at the party, in which case it might be she wont do it again.

I started at 15 and wish i had never took it up now, they do say its more addictive than heroin and i can kind of see why !

I would see how it goes over the next few weeks and see if she comes in smelling of smoke, if she does, a few pictures of disease ridden lungs or a tour round the heart and lung ward of the local hospital should do the trick !! I think it would have done for me !

That reminds me, i really must have another go at stopping...................................again !

If you get enough replies, let her have a look at this thread and see how many people are saying how daft she would be to take it up.

[Rusty Nuts]

I have got a uncle terminally ill with lung cancer through smoking has had a part of his lung cut out last year but it has returned, he has problems walking short distances cancer is just such an awfull disease make her do some research into that. Talk to her and explain why you don't do it and how expensive it can be, don't dismiss smoking as harmless because smoking can lead to the other evils besides both these activities are illegal at her age.

I feel your pain because I have teenage children myself and its so hard even talking to them about these issues because the peer pressure from their own age group is so immense.

Lets hope its just experimenting as we all do at that sort of age when we all know whats best.

[jeff oakley]

Difficult one to handle as you need to show her the reasons why she should not smoke in a loving way. Kids are under tremendous peer pressure and this may be a one off. Talk to the local hospital respiratory ward, they may be able to have a patient talk to her, but remember kids at 15 think they are imortale so it will take time. key thing is not to dictate, help her to see the reasons. Good luck

[carpetstu]

Show her this thread and it will show her how concerned you are!

If its a faze it will probably fade out, If its not her first time ,she may have been smoking for a while, and it might be that she will take some time to drop the habit.

Just support her. A lecture may just lead to her doing it when shes not in eye sight.

The joys of kids!!!!

[pistonbroke]

Buy her a Pipe        Ahhh!  Condor  

[Norman Verona]

Agree with all the above.

I'm sure the kids today know the risks and suspect she only smoked because she'd had a few drinks. Why not ask her, in a very friendly way, if she plans to smoke on a regular basis.

However, I think the worst thing to do is to preach.

I gave up just over 3 years ago (after 49 years - I started at 9!) But my wife still smokes.

Our son has never smoked but daughter started around 15. very difficult to get her to stop when we both smoked. She never smoked heavily and mostly rolled her own. She's given up now, at the age of 36.

She never hid the fact that she smoked, we always encouraged total openess in our relations with our kids and have been very succesfull in this approach.

I would imagine most kids experiment with drink and smoke. It's the tiny minority that experiment with harder drugs and get hooked that we should apply resources to.

[Crazy Eddie]

Wow can't wait till I have this with my little girl (hopefully a while though just turned 1!)

I smoke and have done since about 17 and wish I had never started.

My sister is a few years younger than me and started to smoke because her mates were. All I could do is tell her that I didn't like smoking and wish it was easier to quit so if she wanted to look cool as such (although did mention the old it shouldn't matter what everyone else is doing) the important thing was not to inhale because that is how you get addicted.

Luckily for her the phase passed and she never properly started.

Unfortunately for me 10 years on and it's hard as hell to quit

At 17 though I "knew" that I would be able to quit if I wanted to - if only!  

[Lurksalot]

Unfortunately for me 10 years on and it's hard as hell to quit

At 17 though I "knew" that I would be able to quit if I wanted to - if only!  

That sounds a bit defeatist for you Eddie

If you really WANT to quit you'll find a way  

[Crazy Eddie]

Yeah the point I was trying to make though is that 17 or younger if you are told it is addictive you kind of just think it is something people say to put you off starting but it really is addictive.

I'll crack it one day - just harder than the younger generation think it will be when they start