Pipe specification

[Liam]

PIPE SPECIFICATION

1. All pipe is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by metal, earthenware or plastic centred around the hole. Use of pipes with offset holes is not recommended.

2. All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length — do not use holes of different length than the pipe.

3. The I.D. (Inside Diameter) of all pipe must not exceed the O.D. (Outside Diameter) -otherwise the hole will be on the outside.

4. All pipe is to be supplied with nothing in the hole, so that water, steam or other stuff can be put inside at a later date.

5. All pipe should be supplied without rust; this can be more readily applied at the job site. NOTE: Some vendors are now able to supply pre rusted pipes. If available in your area, this product is a recommended thing, as it will save a great deal of time at the job site.

6. All pipe over 500 ft (150m) in length should have the words "LONG PIPE" clearly painted on each side and end, so the contractor will know it's a long pipe.

7. Pipe over 2 mile (3.2 km) in length must also have the words "LONG PIPE" painted in the middle so the contractor will not have to walk the entire length of the pipe to determine whether or not it is a long pipe or a short pipe.

8. All pipe over 6 ft (1.83m) in diameter must have the words "LARGE PIPE" painted on it, so the contractor will not mistake it for a small pipe.

9. Flanges must be used on all pipe. Flanges must have holes for bolts, quite separate from the big hole in the middle.

10. When ordering 90° or 30° elbows, be sure to specify left-hand or right-hand, otherwise you will end up going the wrong way.

11. Be sure to specify to your vendor whether you want level, uphill or downhill pipe. If you use downhill pipes for going uphill, the water will flow the wrong way.

12. All couplings should have either right-hand or left-hand threads, but do not mix the threads, otherwise, as the coupling is being screwed on one pipe, it is being unscrewed from the other.

13. All pipes shorter than 1/8 in. (3mm) are very uneconomical in use, requiring many joints. They are generally known as washers.

14. Joints in pipes for piping water must be water-tight. Those in pipes for compressed air, however need only be air-tight.

15. Lengths of pipes may be welded or soldered together. This method is not recommended for concrete or earthenware pipes.

16. Other commodities are often confused with pipes. These include: Conduit, Tube, Tunnel and Drain. Use only genuine pipes.

[Pembroke Pat]

   

[Hammy]

Excellent

[Norman Verona]

The one I put tobacco in and puff on doesn't meet the above specification. Should I return it to the manufacturer?

[KerryS]

Hadn't taken you to be a puff, Norm    

[Paul Hurdsfield - Joint Manchester AO]

Is Norm Puff the magic Dragon in disguise  

[Norman Verona]

[Liam]

The one I put tobacco in and puff on doesn't meet the above specification. Should I return it to the manufacturer?

Provided it is only used for the purpose intended you should be ok but if you put certain other things in it will then be called a 'bong' and your perspective on life may become even more distorted. This can also lead to spending periods in a small room with just a bucket to p**s in    

[cidersurfer]

 I've just sent that to my buyer...  

[Liam]

Pleased to be of service  

[wipper]

   

Quality.

[david.c]

Beats all that ANSI & BS nonsense          

David

[Man On The Clapham Omnibus]

Is it true that any pipe cut precisely to length is always 2" too short?

It's certainly true of copper tube in my experience.

[Liam]

My father had a tape measure that was marked in inches and "small bits".

Trouble was the small bits could be either 10ths or 8ths. So 1' 5" and two small bits was an approximation. Nevertheles, he was an enthusiastic DIYer.  

We had some very odd picture frames and kitchen cabinets in our house .

Trouble is, I inherited his tape measure.......... and his DIY "skills"   I prefer PSE   to DIY