Mrs Westy Posted July 31, 2002 Posted July 31, 2002 I have absolutely nothing against people from Essex. You backed down. I win. Tune in, same time next week for more fun and frantics with "Mrs Westy versus..." Mrs W PS Why do women have orgasms? It just gives them another opportunity to moan. Westy found that joke a bit too funny for my liking... Quote
westy Posted July 31, 2002 Posted July 31, 2002 dam out for a curry and some beer and miss all the fun....must set the video next time good to see no heckling from the crowd you can come next time though should I be worried...I have just found next to the mouse a piece of paper in the Mrs hand writing that says: "use WinMX instead of Kazaa and you wont get hot sex" answers on a post card please Quote
Phssthpok Posted July 31, 2002 Author Posted July 31, 2002 Mrs Westy I lied again. My dislike of all things Essex comes from the time my sister moved to Essex with her new husband Danny, a distinguished brain surgeon. As there was obviously no work for him to do he lapsed into a bout of endogenous depression. Eventually he tried to take his life by throwing himself under a hairdresser called Tracey’s XR3i. The car actually missed him but, when Tracey reversed to see if Danny was hurt, she accidentally ran over his head. When the ambulance arrived Wayne, the paramedic, examined Danny at the scene and pronounced him brain dead, but otherwise OK. Danny made a full recovery apart from losing 99% of his intellectual capacity. He now lives a normal life in Essex after divorcing my sister and marrying Tracey. Q: What does a peroxide Essex girl and a 747 have in common? A: They both have a black box. Quote
westy Posted July 31, 2002 Posted July 31, 2002 Hurray - I'll get the beers, popcorn and two packets of crisps for greedy Matt. Quote
Mrs Westy Posted July 31, 2002 Posted July 31, 2002 Hang on a minute... A couple of months back the Westicle was parked in a health centre and a person, who was not male, kindly reversed their Montego (spit) estate into the back of my car. They got out, glanced at my shattered number plate, rear light cluster and scratched rear arch, shrugged, clambered back into the Montego and drove off. All this was witnessed by the receptionist who also told me who she was. I popped around to see her and, of course she denied the incident ever took place. When I offered to point out the lumps of my car still sticking in her plastic bumper bar she told me to f**k off and slammed the door. I reported the incident to the police who could not have cared less if they'd tried. I paid her a return visit in the early hours of the following morning and Super-glued all five of the Montego's locks up. Call me childish if you want but, vengence shall be mine sayth the Westfield owner. And you are calling Essex people stupid? Quote
Chris Elworthy Posted July 31, 2002 Posted July 31, 2002 My Auntie Vera was the Mayor of Sarfend (or was it Mare) does this mean I can join in ? Quote
Mrs Westy Posted July 31, 2002 Posted July 31, 2002 Only if she helps prove my case that all Essex people aren't stoopid, as hypothesised by phssthpok. If she pronounces it Sarfend, as opposed to Saaaaaaaaaafend then probably, yes. Quote
westy Posted August 1, 2002 Posted August 1, 2002 Saaaaaaaaaafend my former home town your not from Essex if you cant talk Jive Quote
Phssthpok Posted August 1, 2002 Author Posted August 1, 2002 Mrs Westy I didn't ask the woman who reversed into my Westfield if she was from Essex; I'd just assumed she was.... Quote
westy Posted August 1, 2002 Posted August 1, 2002 [Crowd heckle] Phssthpok seems to be lacking substance and fact to his arguments possible proof his starting to weaken [/crowd heckle] *continues munching popcorn* Quote
Mrs Westy Posted August 1, 2002 Posted August 1, 2002 OK it's time to deal the final blow, a blow so low that it will surely prove once and for all that Essex people are fab, and that you indeed, are to become the laughing stock of the WSCC. I quote from your profile: My interests, I’m afraid, remain vapid and include: beer-belly-dancing, writing anonymous, abusive letters to the J.R.R. Tolkien appreciation society, claiming Blackstone was a feted public school of which I was head boy and shouting out the answers to The Weakest Link. Argument over. Case closed. Mrs W Quote
Phssthpok Posted August 1, 2002 Author Posted August 1, 2002 Mrs Westy, calm down you’ll do yourself an injury. Being a Essex girl I’m sure you’re used to giving “low blows” but that does not forward your argument nor does it prove your case. Obviously I can’t say that all people from Essex are stupid because that would be an absolute and with your BSc(hons) (Media Studies??) with a variety of GCSE/A levels at grades A/B (Domestic Science??) you presumably know that absolutes do not exist therefore I can only say that 99.9% of Essex people as thick as smelly brown stuff. Being the laughing stock of the WSCC is a cross I’ll have to bear but, as that great philosopher, Lenny Bruce, once said, “I had an Essex born girlfriend once who was stupid. One day her stupid things were getting on my nerves and I asked her what her I.Q. was. She responded ‘20/20’” Quote
Mrs Westy Posted August 1, 2002 Posted August 1, 2002 The words "clutching" and "straws" spring to mind Argument closed. Finito. I'm not playing any more. Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.