Nursing home joke

[RobK]

Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loves to charge around the nursing home taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed in the long corridors. Because the poor woman is one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerate her.

One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Crazy Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "Stop!" he said in a firm voice. "Have you got a licence for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held

it up to him. "OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Willie popped out in front of her and shouted, "Stop! Have you got proof of insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a beer coaster and held it up to him. Willie nodded and said, "Carry on, ma'am."

As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Mad Malcolm stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding a very sizeable erection in his hand. "Oh no" said Ethel, "not the breathalyser again!"

Apologies if its been posted before  

[V8grunt]

     

[pistonbroke]

At least your dead on about the Old bit  

[KerryS]

My Grandma's name was Ethel - really  

[Chris Elworthy]

Ethel also used to sit next to Mad Malcolm to watch the 9 o'clock News and would hold his W*lly for the duration.

One evening however Ethel came down just before 9 o'clock as usual to find Mad Malcolm sitting down already with Marjorie holding his W*lly.

"Whats Marjorie got that I haven't?" shouted Ethel.

"Parkinson's" replied Malcolm