Thursday Joke

[Animal]

>Not Tonight

> >

> >

> >NO SEX TONIGHT

> >I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ

> >so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I

> >have never figured out why men think with their head and women with

>their heart.

> >

> >FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting

> >into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says,

> >"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

> >

> >I said, "WHAT?? What was that?!"

> >

> >So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to

> >hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman

> >enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

> >

> >She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for

> >who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

> >

> >Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

> >The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time

> >with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big

> >department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several

> >different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take

> >so I told her we'd just buy them all.

> >She

> >wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a

> >pair for each outfit.

> >

> >We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of

> >diamond earrings. Let me tell you....she was so excited. She must have

> >thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was

> >testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't

> >even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I

> >said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction

> >from all of the excitement.

> >

> >Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is

> >all, let's go to the cashier."

> >

> >I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't

> >feel like it."

> >

> >Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,

> >"WHAT?"

> >

> >I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.

> >You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me

> >to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

> >

> >And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,

> >"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy

> >you?"

>

   

[Gavin]

If only I had the b***s to try it LOL      

Very funny    

[Thrustyjust]

*** WARNING****

Just want to warn you all of a scam that is happening at my local Tesco's.A couple of young ladies will pack all your shopping away and help you by pushing your trolley to your car.They will then help you load your car with the shopping and then they undo their tops.They push you into your car and procede to strip off.They then indulge together on the back seat of the car.One of them will then lean over and assist in your pleasures while the other takes your wallet.I know this happens as I have lost my wallet on Saturday,Sunday,Monday Wednesday and Thursday this week so far..........    

p.s edit it how you want.....

[Gavin]

*** WARNING****

Just want to warn you all of a scam that is happening at my local Tesco's.A couple of young ladies will pack all your shopping away and help you by pushing your trolley to your car.They will then help you load your car with the shopping and then they undo their tops.They push you into your car and procede to strip off.They then indulge together on the back seat of the car.One of them will then lean over and assist in your pleasures while the other takes your wallet.I know this happens as I have lost my wallet on Saturday,Sunday,Monday Wednesday and Thursday this week so far..........    

p.s edit it how you want.....

Never heard that one before !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    

Got to be the most reposted joke ever lol        

[Dave Eastwood (Gadgetman) - Club Chairman]

Why don't we just save time and make it a sticky        

[a4drk]

*** WARNING****

Just want to warn you all of a scam that is happening at my local Tesco's.A couple of young ladies will pack all your shopping away and help you by pushing your trolley to your car.They will then help you load your car with the shopping and then they undo their tops.They push you into your car and procede to strip off.They then indulge together on the back seat of the car.One of them will then lean over and assist in your pleasures while the other takes your wallet.I know this happens as I have lost my wallet on Saturday,Sunday,Monday Wednesday and Thursday this week so far..........    

p.s edit it how you want.....

Repost ..........

here

[matthew h]

to be fair I haven't heard about that scam for a week now........... then again I haven't logged on for a week!